Is the Empress Pregnant? XBN Reports!

TRANSCRIPT: Dateline YC125.05.08 Luminaire : XBN News, “Free Bird Radio”

In a shocking twist that has rocked the nets, rumors are swirling that Empress Catiz may be pregnant. Sources close to the royal family claim that Her Most Sublime and Imperial Majesty Catiz I has been exhibiting several telltale signs of pregnancy, including nausea, fatigue, and strange food cravings. Photos were last snapped of her wearing a golden silk dress at the palace with frills and plenty of room around the waist, possibly to conceal a new ‘baby bump’.

“She asked for pickles with icing wrapped in sacred clay,” says an anonymous source XBN knows to be a slave in the palace kitchens. “And she wanted it at three o’clock on the night cycle. I can’t explain her bizarre food cravings any other way. She’s been so moody lately.”

The news has sent the cluster into a frenzy, with speculation running rampant about who the father could be. Some sources claim that it could be thanks to a secret tryst with none other than Maleatu Shakor, conceived during a secret diplomatic visit in the wake of the Turnur catastrophe. Others suggest that she may not know the identity of the father, possibly due to having conceived the child during a backroom raunchy masquerade party, such as wealthy Amarr are known to frequent.

If the rumors are true, it would be a staggering twist in the history of the Empire, and it would raise serious religious concerns. In an explosive interview with Amarrian Doctor of the Faith Nauplius, XBN sought the inside story concerning the Empress from an expert in the Amarrian religion.

XBN > “Woah! For Shakor? You’re telling me the baby daddy is none other than the leader of the Republic?!”

Nauplius > Exactly. Such is the depravity of Anti-Empress Catiz. She loves Minmatar more than her own people.

Cut. Deep, forboding horn plays.

We then asked Dr. Nauplius what religious significance this could have for the Amarr Faith:

XBN > “So this is a sign of the end times?”

Nauplius > Not the end. The end of an era; the end of an age.

Three deep, dark electronic notes.

XBN: But some people say that the pregnancy is nothing more than a RUMOR and not a COVERUP. What do you have to say to those people?"’

Nauplius > They underestimate the abject moral depravity of anti-Empress Catiz.

For the full interview, tune in to XBN TONIGHT on Federation Wide-Band Broadcasting - 109FWB. (69FWB in the Republic.)


Oh thank goodness there are tabloids, life would be boring without them…

The fact that religious slavers are interested in Procreation is insane. -o

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