I could never trust someone who did that to actually be acting in the interests of our youth. To break faith so, betray a commitment made… Treachery is like anything else: it gets easier, after you’ve done it once already. Justifications can be found, excuses fabricated.
Stjörnauga learn from an early age to be careful about who we choose to make commitments to—because once made, they are sacred. And yes, that can get us into trouble. Like any social network with more than two people in it, commitments come into conflict, and there often is no ‘good’ answer.
It’s why my decision, ten years ago, to take employment outside the Clan, continues to cause strife and resentment between myself and Anna. Not because I am failing to meet my commitments to Stjörnauga—I’m not—but because it risks it, because it complicated things. I am where I am now because of commitments I made that day. And until I am released from my commitments… here I’ll stay.
Yes, I’ve had periods of weakness, of homesickness. There have been times when I’ve considered setting my affairs in order and returning to Huggar station. I am, after all, only human. And yes, along the way to re-affirming my decision to stay, I wound up taking on other commitments which may keep me here longer, even, than those to the alliance and the coalition. Maybe doing that was a mistake. But having made those commitments, were I to just… walk away from them, were I to abandon them, even to protect the Clan…
I would not be welcome in my mother’s kitchen. I would not be welcome at any of our gatherings. I would have betrayed what it is to be Stjörnauga. And I would never be forgiven. Only forgotten.