They as in LUMEN. Who are being considerably more patient with you than they should be on this.
That is really not true at all. Defeated, yes, but there are many means of striking down and punishing those who have turned away. And at what point do you make the distinction between those who are not yet saved but still may be, and those who will never accept it?
It is more complicated an issue than you are trying to present it.
āTheyā also as in other Amarr I associate or speak with, Samira. Who concededly lack direct authority over me, but most, of whatever rank, accept the honest answer: I wonāt fake conversion. I donāt wish to lie to you, or to God.
Whatās more, rushing things is hazardous. Your Faith grants entry only once. Iāll enter when Iām sure, and not before.
Are you really saying they should be hurrying me along? That they should require conversion, even if itās not sincere and backed with genuine faith?
Werenāt you the one who held honesty in such high regard?
And the assumption that you will. The fact that you keep leaving open the possibility that you will means you have not rejected them outright. And they do not have to live up to the demands of their faith.
If and when you do outright reject their God, they can either strike you down, as Scripture commands, or fail their God.
I am not fool enough to think that Commander Kimās opinion will change the entirely pragmatic political judgment of the Stateās leadership in the slightest. I believe that, as leaders and politiciansāand even corporate officers must engage in politics as part of their dutiesāthey are already aware of all of this, and have made the entirely reasonable decision to continue to use the Empire as a bulwark against Federal aggression.
That doesnāt mean they need the Empire. If someone wanted to attack me with a knife, I donāt need a gun to beat them to death. It will just make it easier.
So no, I have none of your feeble delusions that the Caldari leadership is unaware of anything Iāve said, or that opening up the eyes of a few capsuleers might influence them in the slightest. It will not benefit me in any way, whatsoever.
Holders in LUMEN are as much āthe Empireās leadersā as I am the Chief of the Sebiestor Tribe, or Cmdr Kim is a megacorporate CEO. Please do not cite delusions of grandeur as some kind of systemic virtue.
No, there is not. Strike them down. Do they continue to refuse? Then you need to continue striking. Eventually, either they will tell you whatever you want to hear to make the pain stop, or they will die. It doesnāt matter how slowly you do it. You are still required to do it.
According to your Scripture, there is no provision given for ājust keep trying to talk them into itā.
Prevaricators and rationalizers always try to claim such. Your God says differently. Perhaps the reason the Empire has faltered so much is that it has strayed from the purity of obedience to God, into venal attempts to placate empathy. Itās a quality your divine monster who offers love, but only if youāre a good little meatpuppet, clearly lacks.
tl;dr: Iām stepping back from the IGS, with apologies offered to anyone harmed by my comments.
I woke up this morning thinking about everything that happened here yesterday, which is telling for me, because I typically start each day fresh. I donāt like for anything to stick to me. So this tells me how much Iāve been affected by it.
There are a lot of things that Iām upset about, but I really think the biggest one is the realization that no matter how much I talk here, no matter how much I try to explain my reasons or even my emotions, no one will care. Even if Iay it out plain, youāll continue to think that the issue is what you think it should be about, not what it is about. And I can clarify all day and night, and it doesnāt matter. Maybe Iām not as clear a communicator as I think I am.
The big point of my posting here at IGS is to create conversations on topics that are important to me. And throughout my time here, Iāve had some really amazing conversations. Iāve learned so much about how the cluster works, and Iām a much better person for it. Iāve met some spectacular people after chatting here, too, and thatās made a vast improvement on my time in space.
But thereās also a complicating element that brings out the worst in everyone here, including me. Maybe especially me. I donāt like who I am here sometimes, including yesterday. And it undercuts my goal of creating conversations and getting to know people on honest terms when Iām defending myself with the full force of the worst aspects of my personality.
So, while Iām not taking back any of the points I made yesterdayābecause they were all very good pointsāplease consider this an apology for the way that I presented them, and also for allowing myself to stoop to the level of trolls and honoring malcontents with responses that were unnecessary.
To underscore my intentions here, Iām also going to step away from IGS. Thereās no longer a point to my being a regular here when I find my own destructiveness getting in the way of my points so often, nor when the effectiveness of my goals in talking about social issues is hamstrung by personal attacks. Maybe in the future Iāll be more proficient in achieving this goal without invoking so many of my personal flaws, but for now, I think itās best that I keep a distance.
(Mostly. Youāll see me occasionally posting about events and operations, but I wonāt be engaging in discussion.)
I do have a few wishes of the people here, though. There seems to be an embargo on acknowledgment, and that seems unfair. Thereās nothing wrong with wanting your concerns or your hard work to be acknowledged. I would have loved for my Matari peers to acknowledge me as one of them and to try to get to know me beyond this forum. I guess maybe some got my mails and some werenāt received. There are other venues. Especially when so many of you were complaining about the company I chose to be in after my attempts at reaching out bore no fruit.
As well, I would have liked my Amarrā¦ acquaintances? friends? landlords? to acknowledge the risks that I took in working with them and being seen publicly with them. I did it because I believed in my end goal of achieving harmony, and because I genuinely came to like so many of you. But as Iāve clarified here, my Clanās history with Amarr collaboration is considered shady by some, and actually pursuing collaboration now brings that past to the fore. The risk was worth it to me, though, and my kin believed in me. To say that Shakor only needs one bad day to decide that weāre too much of a problem is not an exaggeration; recall the purges from when he took office.
I donāt put my emotions out there often, so when I do, itās with the hope that knowing what they are will provide context for you, to understand where Iām coming from. Thatās a risk, too, and one where acknowledgment would be a welcome outcome.
Ultimately, though, the failures of yesterday and also past instances are at my feet, and I canāt remedy that with case-by-case apologies anymore. Nonetheless, I do offer this one, although itās probably too late or too small a compensation for any harm Iāve caused.
Deitra did take the time to write a response to me, so I do want to acknowledge her points, with regret that itāll be worth less than she deserves.
Iāve requested help, and not just here. Again, maybe there were communication issues. Some responded, some did not, and with those who responded, there were only vague promises of future meetings that havenāt materialized.
Weāre all busy. I genuinely get that. It just seems like if someone really feels inclined to work with me or get to know me, then itās not too much of a strain to keep in touch via messages or mails, which is what I was doing (in the cases where the mails were received). But when Iām putting all of the effort in, it does begin to feel very one-sided.
I do actually have a need for combat pilots coming up soon, or at least before the end of this year. And if it does matter, the first anniversary of my motherās passing is coming up soon, as is the one for my appointment to clan chief/CEO of Corovid. Both are emotional occasions that have complicated things for me.
This really will be my last post for a while, so please note that I wonāt see any replies to it, at least not for a while. That is, feel free to discuss it; just bear in mind that anything directly addressed to me might not see a timely response.
Best hopes,
Melisma
A Holder, by definition, is a local lord and a member of a relatively select ruling class. Nobility-- and not just that, but landed: trusted with authority over territory and persons.
So, you know ā¦ a leader?
I wasnāt speaking only of those associated with the Society, either. But Iāll leave that discussion for elsewhere. Besides, itās not like most of your people think Iām a very good judge of character.
No. A middle-manager. Utterly insignificant in the circles where real power is wielded, and actual leadership displayed.
It doesnāt usually feel very much like that when youāre visiting oneās demesne. Holders are trusted with kind of a lot of authority.
Have it your way, though. Itās not like Iāve been chatting with Empress Catiz.
Youāve certainly not been asked to offer your opinion on anything to her. Nor have any of the Holders you associate with. You speak of ākind of a lot of authorityā, but itās only the āauthorityā of stewardship. They manage that demesne on behalf of their liege. They oversee their territories and households at the pleasure of their masters.
Thatās not leadership. Being trusted to fall in line is not leadership. Itās just being apt to the hand that wields you.
Iām saying they should be putting more effort into convincing you than they are. What they are doing now is essentiallyā¦ sitting back and hoping one day you might choose to take up the faith. They have an authority position over you and should be using that position to encourage you.
I didnāt say you should fake conversion. But people shouldnāt be sitting passively back, either. And I know they are, because I know LUMEN. Iāve seen how lax they are on things. Just look at how they treat their āslavesā ā as if they werenāt slaves at all (and yet, for some reason, despite treating them as free people they are afraid of actually freeing them).
Iām sorry to hear this. I, for one, have enjoyed your contributions. Things get heated sometimes, sure, but thatās the nature of discussion. You are generally a well-reasoned woman however and always a welcome voice on issues.
Iām sorry for any part of mine that might have lead you to make this decision.
Someone who is not learned on Scripture does not get to tell me what it says. So cut that ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā . I do not claim to be an authority on your clanās laws.
The Destiny of Faith is to conquer evil and Reclaim all of creation into holy unity with God. Killing those who fail to be convinced is abandoning that mission. Yes, their arrogance in refusing the truth must be crushed. But going so far as to claim Scripture is calling for their murder is you talking out of your ass. Violence is forbidden by Scripture except in specific cases. Excessive cruelty against slaves is forbidden by Scripture. Mistreatment of your enemies is forbidden by Scripture.
Amash-Akura instituted the rules of just war. Submission is to be rewarded with life and respect ā thus the high place afforded to the Khanid, and the Ni-kunni, and the Nefantar, and the permission to retain some of their culture. Resistance is to be given several chances to repent, and only if each of these chances are refused are they sentenced to death. But those who did not raise arms, even if they are of the enemy, are to be spared. This is the law established by Amash-Akura, the first emperor of Amarr.
What was done on Arzad, and Kahah, broke with Amash-Akuraās laws. Innocents were slain, rather than just those who had risen up in arms. And slavery itself, in many cases, has broke with Amash-Akuraās laws, where unwarranted abuse and mistreatment has been allowed to go on unchecked.
Sin must be punished, yes. The scourge exists for a reason. But ā ā ā ā off with your uninformed leaps of logic on a subject on which you are an outsider.
You do not speak for God.
You just donāt like how I said it. But you say the same thing. Keep resisting, and youāll be killed.
Resistance does not require armed resistance.
Neither does anyone in your whole, corrupt, irredeemably evil Empire.
If thatās what you got out of what I said, then you didnāt read it properly.
The point is, even in war (which, by the way, isnāt the only way to defeat another nation or its errant beliefs. One would think the Republic would understand this), Scripture commands that the enemy is not to be mistreated. That military targets are the only valid targets.
You are attempting to twist Scripture to claim it calls for the murder of all those who do not believe. You are a liar.
Then it does not require armed intervention.
Oh, certainly not me. As for the Holders ā¦ ah ā¦ you might be a little surprised? Current events have been. . . .
Definitely not the Empress herself, though, thatās true.
Thatās feudalism for you? ā¦ take it from a commonerās servant, though: to a certain extent, a lordās a lord. Which one takes orders from which other one doesnāt matter a lot to the common folk day to day: as a commoner, youāre subject to whichever oneās authority youāre under. And most commoners formally outrank me.
From where I stand, formally speaking, itās a little like looking at the sky from under water, if not quite the bottom of the sea.
Being āmanagementā at all is a leadership position, from such a view.
Well, I donāt know if youāll read this but Iāll say it anyways.
For starters, you got me on a bad day, My initial reply was sent during a post op meeting, maybe 45 minutes after losing the crew of a slasher in literally one shot. It was a crew who have been around for quite some time. So, to say the least I wasnāt exactly in a nice mindset, mentally and wellā¦ chemically. I honestly do apologize for going full bore at you, It was much more than necessary to get my point across.
Reflection isnāt a bad thing. If you want a clear mind every morning, soothsayer was created for a reason. It helps alot. Though that really isnāt the way to confront difficulties in life. To be honest, ya people naturally care for themselves first, thatās human nature. So yes not everyone will really ever fully agree with you 100% of the time.
I can very easily prove to you your kin care. They oppose you when they feel you are wrong. If they didnāt care, why would they try to get you to think about other avenues of thought if not to try and guide you towards success? Their own versions of success maybe, but I donāt see how that is not essentially showing you support. So they donāt sit around waiting to congratulate every achievement? Why should they? No news is good news as they say, If no one is complaining, your probably not wrong. No one should be applauded for doing whats right for them. Thatās simply being a good member of the tribes. Some things donāt have to be said to be thought, ya know?
I cant really speak for others, but only thing ill say is: Yes, that would have been nice, but in the end its business. Sometimes business isnāt a nice thing unfortunately and its not exactly hard to believe that business associates will watch over their own before enthusiastic ānew clients.ā Iām sorry, but its the nicest way i can think of saying it.
Thank you, and no, nobody deserves a thing. You earn what you get.
As you said we all can at times be busy. I will personally say, if you need help, or even just want to talk, feel free. Doors just as open as its always been. And it wouldnāt be too hard for me to make the time if Iām busy.
Let me know when and other useful details. Iād be happy to help, and Iām sure Tyrel and Claudia would too most likely.
No. You are attempting to claim it does not say what it clearly does.
It is still resistance. It is still rejecting your evil God. And the command in that situation is clear. Even you admit it.
And day is night, to the blind. Just because your perspective is so limited as to be useless does not make it right. Management is not leadership. Leadership is leadership. What you describe are followers, tasked with overseeing other followers. A leash is not a leader. The one pulling it is. The leash can only follow, even as it pulls whatever is on the other end along, as well.
Donāt twist my words, ā ā ā ā ā .
Straight words often seem twisted to those with crooked eyes. You said what you said. Donāt blame me if you donāt like what it means.
Iām blaming you for your literalism. It seems to run in spades in your clan. You flat ignore the interpretive nature of Scripture and the thousands of years that have gone into understanding the nuances of every passage in it, you quote something I say out of context in a deceptive attempt to prove your pointā¦
This is all actually rather Amarrian, really; this belief that you can somehow speak with authority on someone elseās culture while understanding nothing of it.
By your standard, a leader follows no one?
Yeah, I donāt think thatās true at all.
(Also, I donāt think anyone who owns an even slightly unruly dog or similar creature thinks the hierarchyās all that one-sided when it comes to leashes.)
A dog only really gets to decide something its master does not allow it to when it escapes.
I do understand how this is a concern for very small Achura, or when it involves very large dogs.