Chaven, YC127
Impairor: Hey. You made it. At a snail’s pace.
Impairor: Yeah, sorry, dock worker held me up. Insisted I take one unit of Tritanium. Said I looked like I’d need it. What’s a snail, anyway?
Impairor: A creature.
Impairor: Like a griffin?
Impairor: You still there?
Impairor: Yes, I was figuratively rubbing my temples, pondering whether to get into it. Yes, like a griffin. In a sense.
Impairor: Ah. So, what’s the plan?
Impairor: Operation Racoon. We get out of TES Handout and TES Broke One. We make some ISK, build some Punishers, join the 24th Imperial Crusade and become the menace we’re destined to be. The universe is our oyster.
TES Broke One: What’s an oyster?
TES Handout: A creature.
TES Broke One: Right. I don’t get it. So what’s first?
TES Handout: Reports show Eifyrium and Ducinium asteroids in a nearby border system. We need to grab some ore before the locals descend like a swarm of locusts.
TES Broke One: Creatures?
TES Handout: Yes.
TES Broke One: Your sayings involve a lot of creatures, don’t they?
TES Handout: I suppose. My family bred and traded hounds, I guess fauna just… crept into our vernacular.
TES Broke One: Ooh, hounds, I remember those! My family used them to-
TES Handout: Focus.
TES Broke One: Right. Ore. I grabbed some Civilian Miners from the dock before I left, let’s do this.
TES Handout: Won’t work. They cycle too quickly. But we can use them to grab some Pyroxeres and Scordite, then build proper Miner I’s. How much ISK do you have?
TES Broke One: 5.000 ISK. Plus some change.
TES Handout: Some…change?
TES Broke One: One Tritanium.
TES Handout: So…5.001 ISK. I have about the same. A Miner I blueprint costs 92.720 ISK. We’ll need some liquidity.
TES Broke One: Let’s go claim some bounties on haywire drones then! Heard the DED pays good ISK for clearing them out before they build a hive.
TES Handout: We could, but without active defences and decent firepower, I’m afraid we’d disappoint your friend at the dock rather quickly.
TES Broke One: He’s not my friend!
TES Handout: Not to mention the paperwork.
TES Broke One: Fine, if violence against insubordinate appliances isn’t an option, what are we going to do?
TES Handout: Imperial Armaments in the next system sells some goods. Quafe Company in the same system buys them for twice as much. Quick ISK.
TES Broke One: Perfect! Wait, what goods?
TES Handout: Garbage.
TES Broke One: Come on! I just got this ship!
TES Handout: Wouldn’t want the guy at the dock wrinkling his nose, would you?
TES Racoon: Oh, I get it now.
TES Opossum: I never doubted you.