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“Nature has blessed me with features that others find charming and alluring. Who am I to squander such gifts? Sure, it has its downsides at times with some Gurista finding themselves unable to even take me seriously, while other times all it takes is a wink, smile or tear shed to have their hearts melt into my hands… Doesn’t matter how much of a cutthroat killer they are, doesn’t stop them from having a soft spot for a cutie like me…”
- Suha Raibuya
“She’s…She’s SO cute!”
September 3rd YC 122
3A1P-N, Dread Guristas Fleet Staging Point - Mess-hall of the Rattlesnake-class Battleship “Plundered Fortune”,
“Is that a salad?”
“What the ■■■■ else could it be? Of course it’s a salad, never seen one before?”
“Have YOU seen one before ■■■■■■■■■■■■? I ain’t ever seen you eat a ■■■■■■■ salad before in my entire time working with you.”
“I’m on some new ■■■■ right now. I gotta start treating my body right for once. A healthy body makes a stronger spirit my man. Maybe you should also give it a try and stop eating that processed ■■■■■■■■ you got on your plate.”
“Okay let’s slow the ■■■■ down right-quick and address a few things… Firstly, who are you for sitting down at this table and immediately casting shame on me for the ■■■■ I’m eating.”
“You questioned me for bringing a salad.”
“Because you never ate a ■■■■■■■ salad before! You’d be eating the same garbage I’d be eating right now, so I’m wondering where the ■■■■ this is coming from. Which brings me to my second point - Spirits? The ■■■■ you on about talking about spirits all of a sudden?”
“Have you heard of this woman named ‘Suha Raibuya’ by chance?”
“Su- Oh ■■■■ you man… Is that what this is? You’re buying into that Wayist ■■■■ that woman is spouting?”
“You know if you ever gave her a chance and lis-”
“NahNahNah - ■■■■ you. You yourself have told me that religion and spirituality is stupid fictional nonsense and ghosts and spirits DON’T exist. So don’t come at me with this “Maybe you need to just give her a chance” ■■■■ because you’ve never bought into this ■■■■■■■■ before.”
“Well I-”
“Bro! You’ve ■■■■■■■ specifically targeted Amarrian assets specifically because you thought their entire religion is stupid as ■■■■ and deserve to have their ■■■■ taken.”
“I still think it’s du-”
“I’ve watched you strangle a ■■■■■■■ priest to death! I was THERE in the ■■■■■■■ moment! I tried to STOP you from strangling him because we still wanted to ransom him back off, but noooooooo - He had to die because you wanted to send him to his god or whatever the ■■■■ because he wouldn’t shut up about how much you needed to embrace God.”
“I still think he deserved it…”
“Right! So why the ■■■■ are you buying Into this nonsense this girl is spouting…?”
“She’s…She’s SO cute!”
“… Dawg, who the ■■■■ are you right now?”
“I’m the same man I’ve always been.”
“The only time you ever fawn over how ‘Cute’ a girl Is when you follow the thought up with how much you wanna shove your-”
“It’s not even like that with Suha! I don’t wanna ■■■■ her… Not to say I wouldnt turn it down, but I’d settle for just hugging her… you know?”
“…Nah.”
“I just… Wanna hold her, make sure she’s safe. I-I don’t wanna see something bad happen to her! Something in me just feels very protective about her.”
“So you fantasize about being her white knight?”
“I wouldn’t go that far! I just… Man, this is a little heard to put to words… I just feel like people in this organization should stand up for her, make sure nobody is bullying or picking on her. Especially after all the work she’s done.”
“Like spreading some nonsensical religion?”
“For revolutionizing the economy in this region. You’ve used the Prosperity Network by now, yeah?”
“Sure.”
“That’s all her man! Hell, that little cute little cartoon mascot sprinkled throughout the U.I? She looks exactly like that in person!”
“You’ve met her?”
“I visited the shrine she had up in the logistics station in N5Y-4N and got to meet her. She knows how to work a crowd and talk ■■■■ about the State! Talking to her directly? She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met while working for the Guristas. I-I-I just wanted to pinch her cheeks in the moment! B-But I restrained myself…”
“…”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just in disbelief… You had me confused at the salad part, but you have me questioning if I’m even in the right dimension at the moment with you gushing at how much you wanted to pinch her cheeks… Like, sorry - But I’m trying to process all this alongside the context of you being the kinda guy who would blow another person’s brains out without hesitation. Alright? I’ve seen you kill people for months now…”
“What’s that got to do with anything? Suha says that my killer instinct is a natural part of me. It’s fine for humans to have the capacity to kill, it’s apart of our species. What’s the problem here?”
“The problem is that cheek pinching isn’t exactly the kind of ■■■■ Gutistas are known for.”
“Okay, so? Because I work for the Guristas I gotta be some burly violent tough guy who can’t have a soft spot? I will say I didn’t know I could even have a soft spot till I met this girl… I swear man, you look into this girl’s sweet and beautiful round eyes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. It was too much for me, I had to look elsewhere after making eye contact for a couple minutes.”
“Wait hold on, you’re telling me she looked your ugly mug straight on and YOU were the first one to look away?”
“I never thought I’d look at someone so cute before! Typically I have to stare down pencil-dick State executives or scrawny crewmembers… But this girl was just something different! She didnt look at me with fear or hatred! Just so soft and gentle I… Ugh! Man! You gotta see her for yourself!”
“Maybe I just might have to seeing you like this…”
“I plan on going back this Friday! You should come with me!”
“Maybe… By the way, do you even like eating salads?”
“Oh this some good ■■■■ right here.”