Suspect/criminal timer and player owned stations

Neither, he’s going to continue mining ice and generally being an NPC while telling us war stories on the forums.

You have to coddle him with some terms and handicaps. Like this:

Hey Dracvlad, want to show everyone how much of a tough old war dog you are?

Come at me.

You can bring in as many people as you like, no restrictions.

I promise you I won’t bring in any war allies. In fact I will be completely alone 100% of the time. I won’t even let my friends play with me, who would otherwise find this hilarious and entertaining. Well, maybe one friend, but he’s a total newb.

I will never endanger your war HQ. In fact, I will financially guarantee that your war HQ will not be lost (with some exceptions to prevent getting scammed).

I will literally give you every single handicap under the sun, short of popping out my eyes with an ice-cream scooper and having someone tie my hands behind my back. You can choose what ships I use if you want to. You can even set spending limits for me, while having none for yourself. I will even force myself to do some PvE just to have a reason to be out in space more often. Just a tiny bit, though.

Dracvlad, I will transfer five billion ISK to Chribba to be given to you in the event that it becomes apparent that I’ve lost, either because of continuous losses, or because I’m unable to play the game normally due to your presence. Although you’re welcome to do the same, I won’t hold you to the same obligation.

The only handicap I won’t give you is exploiting the above terms in such a way that you simply get free kills (e.g. no “okay we’re here, now undock in an unarmed hauler fit with officer tanking modules”). You’ll have to work for it.

I’m not even that great at EVE. Have you ever seen me brag about being an elite PvPer, like you do? I’ve never done so! Still, this is how much I’m confident that you’re actually absolute dogshit at the game, and all of your bluster is just involuntary verbal disgorgement driven by your Napolean complex and a deathly fear of fading into obscurity and irrelevance.

Think about it. Five billion ISK.