Poetic Justice: A view of anti-gankers failing

Do you like poetry? I hope so… the following events inspired me to write a haiku that I’ve titled, “The Fools Errand”. Please be gentle, I’m a new poet!

The Fools Errand

Anti-Gankers, ha!
They fail everyday, ha ha!
What sad gameplay, ha!

So on to the meat of this post with our anti-ganker, Somal Thunder. He successfully ganked a thrasher belonging to a Jita ganker.

Somal, being the anti-ganking bully he is had a 5m isk kill right placed upon him by MacGybo. This is the great part… Somal Thunder undocks from Jita 4-4 and warps to his rapier alt at an insta-undock, but not before our hero scout is able to get a scan off on him. What he sees is a freighter carrying 6.7b with a 5m isk kill right.

Alarm bells are sounded and the chase is on! Killright is activated and the freighter tackled before the rapier could web him into warp. The anti-ganker refuses negotiations and is swiftly put down.

This folks right here is why it doesn’t pay to anti-gank! Let this serve as a cautionary tale to any who would dare get in the way of any ganker trying to positively influence player retention!

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An elite PvP alliance member shoots a ganker for some reason, perhaps he wanted to try his hand at AG, who knows. He makes an error that many people do by not checking for killrights or clearing it before heading out in a freighter. Giving an easy kill opportunity.

All you have shown with this is one of the reasons why people don’t AG due to this type of event, they have to have specific characters for this. It was why AG took a long time to gank wrecks for example. Still made me laugh calling him an AG, and the loss itself, what a clusterfeck…

I am a great fan of the butterfly effect, therefore I will see if my contacts that used to be in that alliance are still alive and kicking and draw their attention to this gloat thread. I am damn sure that they will not be bothered by the killmail, but who knows what they will think of the gloat post, though like the loss will likely laugh it off as irrelevant.

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Anti-Gankers, ha!
They fail everyday, ha ha!
What sad gameplay, ha!

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Actually it shows that good story telling trumps all.

This is why ya’ll fail. You fail at story telling, and just aren’t very likable.

If I chose to do it, I’d be the greatest AGer in the history of EVE. But that’d mean associating with you rabble :frowning:

Although Thotamon is cool :smiley:

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While I’m not the best story teller, I like to believe I’m entertaining at least. Here’s some prior work of mine if you find yourself bored or on the :toilet:

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No you did very well.

You know how you know?

You triggered Drac hard :smiley:

Antigank losers
Failing daily, all the time
Posting in forums

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Keyboard warriors
Miners dying all around
Please nerf ganking now

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Everyday, the same old story
Salt flows from the mouths.
Methinks they doth protest too much

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Look I’m a noobie poet but you didn’t even try to follow the 5-7-5 structure of a haiku. Anti-gankers failing at poetry as well somehow doesn’t surprise me.

Oh look, a white knight
But he is useless and sad
I will laugh at him

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Its a sandbox… I’m free to write in whatever style I choose, without fear of ridicule

Inb4 “CCP please ban haikus!”

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With apologies to W McGonagal…

At yonder gate there flew a catalyst
Its no’ there noo
It must have been Anti-Ganked

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Uh… so um… if the antigankers would like to enroll in my poetry course, I’ll be happy to teach you guys how to actually write a Haiku.

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Ooh I like a good poetry slam!

Anti-gankers fly through systems
Looking for a fleet to kill
But often find they can’t resist them;
The gankers who exert their will

Upon high sec. So all miners
Flying without valid permit
Will often find they need a Venture,
Because their Proc is now a wreck.

Anti-ganker! Please fight and stop them!
Fire away at those pirates
Who stop us stealing all the space gems
And making AFK profits!

But no, the anti-ganker cannot.
On the forums, someone’s wrong!
Quick! Say they alt post or misinterpret
Anything you can’t deflect.

For why fight gankers in a system
When public posting garners fame?
Who even looks at kill boards?
After all, it’s just a game.

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Anti-gank ​haiku?
I don’t think that will happen.
Not here, anyway.

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Draclav getting triggered.

You really don’t seem to be well-read enough in the subject to be teaching others.

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If you say so, all I can say is calm down ganker.

Don Pickle fires back…
It’s a little weak, really
Try haikus instead