Amarr Prime
News reaches Gutter Press that a man living on the Udorian continent has survived being struck by lightning for the twelfth time.
Zap !
The man, named locally as Onil Sarwed, was reportedly walking through a public park following a beer festival at a local monastery, when he was struck by the lightning bolt.
Rescuers were quickly on the scene, and Mr. Sarwed was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment and observation.
Friends and relatives of Mr. Sarwed informed Gutter Press that he had been struck by lightning on eleven previous occasions.
“I remember the fifth time, I think it was. That time, his trousers exploded when he got hit, and he had to be taken to hospital half-naked. In retrospect, it was actually pretty funny”, said a local priest.
“I told him, so I did, I told him: Don’t be taking a walk in the park, you know what happened the last time”, said Mrs. Sarwed. “He was struck by lighting that time as well.”
“He’s getting better at it. First time, he was in the hospital for two weeks. Now he gets out in only one day.”, said a local doctor.
Meteorologists were baffled by this phenomenon, though local cryptotheologists had other suggestions:
“Could be one of Molok’s servants. A Lightning Demon”, suggested one cryptotheologist.
Medical experts are divided on the question of whether Mr. Sarwed’s use of scalp wax causes, or protects him from, the lightning strikes.
“You’d think he’d be insulated from things by the wax”, said one doctor.
“A thick layer of wax is probably dangerous if you do get hit. It’d melt, causing burns”, said another.
Mr Sarwed is expected to leave hospital tomorrow morning.
Gutter Press. News.
