“Yarr! I be Zappity the Mostly Fearless! Heave to and eject your loot! No ship can stand against yon mighty frigate!”
Silence. Humph, typical highsec. But they were listening alright. The first room I warped into contained a Gnosis who (very properly) turned all the wrecks blue. That was not exactly the response I was fishing for. A Brutix fled the scene shortly after I landed in his site, terrified by the arrival of a flashy yellow player. And a Drake studiously ignored me for a good five minutes
The next site, however, contained a Rattlesnake alongside his ‘Packrat’ Mobile Tractor Unit. Aha! A worthy adversary! I swooped onto the MTU and started cracking it open with my little Ishkur’s guns. I managed to get all the way through the shield before the Rattlesnake had dispatched the last NPC ship and noticed me. He flashed blue as the aggression timer started and his first missiles struck!
And boy did they hurt. For some silly reason I was sitting still on his MTU and the cruise missiles walloped me straight down to hull. I hastily turned the afterburner on and began orbiting him, repping my armour as I went. Honestly, though, I was more worried about the drones. I really had no business taking on a ship with such strong bonuses but I was willing to hang around until I saw what he was going to do. Fortunately, it simply amounted to a pile of Berserkers which had difficulty applying damage to my small ship.
My progress through his shield stalled at about 30% so I overheated my blasters to break through the regen peak. And then another volley of missiles struck and I was back in hull! Ouch.
Somebody must have suspected that shenanigans were going on by my flashy yellow icon in local. They asked me, “Zappity, post MTU kill?” I declared in no uncertain terms that I had not killed an MTU and that I had never been so unjustly maligned. I had actually killed a Rattlesnake instead! “Yarr! A worthy adversary bested in combat!”
My opponent logged off almost immediately so I didn’t get a chance to explain his loss. Oh well, I figure that some exposure to PVP is good for bears, as long as you aren’t nasty about it.