A Message for ORE

Fiction Portal Intergalactic Summit
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This is Quafe Jackson, some of you may remember me as a freedom fighter helping free various systems from empire control, helping the Triglavians liberate Empire space and their people.
Today I have a message for ORE and other Empire sympathizers:

I have intercepted nearly ten percent of the kidnapped ORE Researchers.
Being the generous person I am, I will let them live in the comfort of my hanger. ORE if you want to your precious researchers again, please contact me to receive my list of demands, I do not want your filthy isk.

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Screenshot 2022-02-16 093311

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What you might be wanting from ORE is likely worth more to them than one billion isk per Researcher, which is obviously what they value their lives at. Not often you get to deal with people who so clearly state what a life is worth to them. However, that being the case, they will likely decline to negotiate with you.

Personally I recommend you hand them over to ORE and use the financial compensation to turn in to assets to further your causes. No one with any authority to act on ORE’s behalf will offer you any better deal.

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Mr. Jackson,
I have to say, using ORE researchers as hostages and pawns is … innovative. However, as @Evi_Polevhia has pointed out, ORE, like many other conglomerates, is greedy. I highly doubt that they value their researchers the way you expect them to. They will not cave to your demands. I doubt they will even negotiate with you. I also believe that you are … reluctant to return these scientists to ORE for financial compensation. After all, you’re a freedom fighter, liberating systems from empire control and fighting against empire sympathizers like ORE. You don’t want to cave to these sympathizers that you have been fighting against for so long now, do you?
I propose an alternative. I run a colony in Venal. A small, peaceful colony. No real dealings with any of the four empires. We could use experienced scientists like the four ORE researchers currently residing in your hangar. Send them to me. We’ll make good use of their skills.

  • Shasta
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Your counter offer seems to be missing any incentive for him. Unless you are trying to appeal to his better nature which is…questionable.

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Well, we’ll see. I hope he has a better nature. If not, I’ve got other reasons that may sway him also.

  • Shasta
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To avoid any confusion, the following statement is on a personal note:

How unsurprising that people try to get more out of an already significant reward or make demands for other means of compensation. I find it a sad situation where kidnapped people are not rescued and returned but instead end up with a different kidnapper.

Seeing it from a pro-Triglavian is even more unsurprising.

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I realize it is tasteless to imitate a fellow genius, darlings, but I find myself in a station I don’t recognize, floating in an egg-shaped womb I don’t recognize, surrounded by four, or perhaps five, blinky lights I don’t recognize, blinking, blinking, and blinking some more, telling me to do things that are physically impossible, and… well… all I can say is “up with this sort of thing.”

Might I suggest turning your abducted researchers into werewolves?

It works best with Sebbies, given that they are beastly creatures to begin with, but SCIENCE knows no true limitations. Is True Limitations a division of Bondage Bugs Incorporated?

Yes. YES! I see it now. ORE werewolves. It could work quite well. ORE werewolves gnaw on space rocks. Then, through the miracle of biological processes, valuable materials emerge sometime later from the other end. A specialty drone puts the valuable material in a little baggie and deposits it. BRILLIANT! It’s kind of like a Giant Metal-Eating Mushroom (they are doing well, sweeties, thank you for asking!), only it is a werewolf eating rocks.

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I really hope that ORE is professional enough to avoid negotiations of any demands of a terrorist (which all freedom fighters are).

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Lady Noh, you’ve returned! And the same as ever it seems. Glad to see some things in this universe still feel normal.

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Evi, darling, you look splendid - all narrow and FIERCE, like a fang, darling. I do hope bending people to your will, ruthlessly, remains fulfilling work. Or raising puppies, if you have decided to raise puppies. I am a nun, and nuns do not judge.

That’s not entirely true.

ORE’s billion ISK reward is too much cha-ching for one human. It’s not like there aren’t fifteen quizillion of the pernicious things squirming around the cluster already. Even on a purely humanitarian level (and as a nun, I am nothing if not purely humanitarian), despite inflation, a billion could still make life better for a lot of refugees. Catching up on the news, there remain plenty of refugees to go around.

These ORE research subjects must be part of a sinister conspiracy.

I suppose their secret might just be how to roll rock electrons up into a perpetually uncollapsed wave state, allowing for more rock to fit into less space, but that seems terribly pedestrian for an over the top reward.

Wouldn’t it be funny if, instead of Jovian Empire 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 2.2, 2.5, and 3.1; various ancient infomorphic ghosts; unspecified just-don’t-call-them-terran superweapons; rogue dersparkleblightens; a witch king with daddy issues; Talocan cigar boats; and even abysmal triglyceride numbers (I mean, how many brownies do I have to give up, really?) … deep breath.

Wouldn’t it be funny if after all these stupendously ancient threats, it was dusty old ORE which ended up destroying the universe? Very clever of them to put everyone at ease with a frigate that looks like all it wants to do is hug people.

Speaking of hugs… kisses!

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  • ORE Declines to Comment on Reports of Capsuleer Attempts to Extort Unspecified Demands Using Kidnapped ORE Researchers

Good work.

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I’m very curious why the Cartel would hand them over to you? I highly doubt you’re sophisticated enough to execute an operation like that…

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He almost certainly bought them from capsuleers who recovered them from the Cartel.

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Indeed? Ha.

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