Recruitment is open! If you are recently starting a new life in New Eden, say after some “recent unpleasantness” and “financial improprieties,” where “mistakes were made,” and you need a place to lay low while the settlement agreement is worked out, this is the place for you! Protip: make sure that your prepared statement expresses “regret” for “recent events”! It’ll go over really well in the press!
Recruitment is open! Learn about all the stuff in EVE those schools don’t want to teach you! Those old-fashioned places are too closed-minded to accept you for your curiosity about “ship-swapping” or “ewar,” but we will never judge you for those things. You can do that stuff right there in front of Jamyl and everybody and not even feel ashamed about it!
Recruitment is open! If you’re worried that EVE is complicated and you aren’t sure where to start, drop by and talk to us! We’ll help to clarify things, with advice like, “shoot this guy” and “reps plz,” and all the tips you need to find your way in New Eden!
Recruitment is open! We might be just the “new change” you need it your life to get on the right track! So put down that new couture concept you’ve been working on, and discover yourself through the cathartic adventure of shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! The power was in you all along!
Recruitment is open! If you would like to learn about WARBLOGGING (it’s like mommyblogging, except with missiles!), visit our corp Discord and ask us how to get, as the kids say, “down with it”!
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget, we will always accept you, even if you want to try “experimenting” with things, like with flying logi, or fooling around with “ewar,” or swapping ships with your friends. We won’t judge you, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! HOTT pvp sexytimes are available in YOUR area!
Recruitment is open! Act now! There’s no better time to discover new and exciting things about yourself!
Recruitment is open! Remember: HOTT pvp sexytime fleets every Saturday, to help you discover yourself!
Recruitment is open! Don’t fret, we have all kinds of enrichment activities to stimulate you while providing valuable learning experiences!
Recruitment is open! For this year’s Heartsurge festivities, why not give the person you love (or drone, or sentient cloud of gas, we don’t judge!) a thoughtful gift, like a barrage of missiles right into the stupid face of Some Reds? Those are the kinds of simple, heartfelt gestures that we support here, and we can help you make just the right statement for that special someone to know you care!
I am in caladari empire, can I join?
Hi Fire!
You sure can! Hop on our Discord and we’ll chat a bit more about how we can help you on your EVE journey!
See you soon!
Recruitment is open! Ask about our exclusive dog and cat content!
Recruitment is open! To help you discover your path in EVE, we have intensive introspection sessions with trained personnel! Don’t be afraid that you might suddenly burst into tears when you admit your love of ewar to yourself, we’ve all been there! Once you discover your true self, the healing process can begin! It’s very cathartic!
Recruitment is open! EVE can be very confusing, but don’t be afraid of experiencing new and exciting emotions as you make your journey of self-discovery! We’ll show you the way! To adventure!
Recruitment is open! I gave the dog a bath, and now I must repent.
Recruitment is open! Stop by for our Sunday brunch, which mostly involves getting performatively drunk on fizzy cocktails and “acting a hot mess” on social media! You’ll feel bad about it afterward, but you can redeem yourself by shooting some reds right in their stupid face, with missiles!
Recruitment is open! if you are looking for all the latest trends in “ewar” or “logi” or “shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles,” don’t be like those tired old poseurs following last year’s fashion trends! Join us, and you’ll always be avant-garde! Your family will look on in stunned silence, but you’ll be making a statement!
Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling confused by all the choices you have in EVE, just remember: things always become clear when you have pictures of dogs. Drop by our Discord and see how!