Announcement: Triglavian Trinary Datastream Weaponization Citadel Operational


(Nauplius) #1

In all of God’s creation, there is nothing more Wicked — nothing more Vile — than slave revolts. That some filthy Minmatar subhumans would even think to usurp their place at the absolute bottom of God’s appointed order ought to fill the hearts of the Faithful with a seething, frothing rage. More than think it, however, they have done it, and from Kahah to Thebeka they have inflicted upon the Chosen People of God such murder and rapine that the wayward, liberal Amarrians like PIE and SFRIM must hang their heads in shame and acknowledge that there remains but one possible response by the Faithful — absolute brutality.

To this end, God has given us the tools for our ultimate victory over the slave — Triglavian Trinary Datastreams. Loosening the lips of the CONCORD subhuman who might have withheld the importance of these artifacts from the Chosen, God has revealed that when combined, these datastreams produce Emergent Threat Case Red Gamma Class A, Class B, and Class AB Incidents. Dangerous Incidents. Dangerous Incidents that ought to be used to suppress revolting slaves — if we only knew the right combinations of datastreams that make these Incidents.

Who, however, will step forward to perform the terrible, terrible science needed to weaponize Triglavian Trinary Datastreams against slaves? The wayward, liberal Amarrian Loyalists will be of no help — they care more for the human rights of slaves than those Chosen of God whom revolting slaves have left butchered on the streets of Kahah and Thebeka. The job requires a monster. Someone already damned; someone taught by events that he must suppress his own ego for the good of the Empire; someone who will do whatever it takes to defend the Empire from revolting slaves. That someone is me.

Now operational in Mehatoor is the Triglavian Trinary Datastream Weaponization Citadel. Here, in the very center of the hangerspace is already assembled a supply of Triglavian Trinary Datastreams — with many more on the way. These are constantly being stacked and restacked in the hopes producing Emergent Threat Case Red Gamma Class A, Class B, and Class AB Incidents. When such an Incident occurs, we will be able to study the effects with great precision, for around that pile of datastreams I have emplaced 100,000 Minmatar Freed Slaves. Yes, the necessities of this dark hour have compelled me — reluctantly — to resume the ownership of slaves that I suspended months ago upon the publication of Aria’s Black Record. Chained to the floor and made meek and happy by means of Vitoc and TCMCs, these filthy Minmatar subhumans — dead or alive — will be tested post-Incident in order to scientifically map out the scale and strength of the destruction. In time, as our research advances, we will be able to respond to any slave revolt with a Triglavian Trinary Datastream weapon tailored precisely to the size of the revolt. Once complete, a network of prepositioned Triglavian Trinary Datastreams will allow wise leaders like @Alar_Chakaid to respond to slave revolts with a push of the button.

All Amarr Loyalists are welcome at the Triglavian Trinary Datastream Weaponization Citadel in order to see that the slaves present are not being made subject to some ego-boosting cruelty, but are instead participants in a scientific experiment. Donations of Tirglavian Trinary Datastreams are welcome. Even so, may the end of slave revolts come quickly. Amen. Amarr Victor.


(kul Shaishi) #2

:woman_facepalming:


(Aria Jenneth) #3

Dear Captain Orveg Drust,

We are writing to thank you ever so much for your intriguing yet unspecific leaking of materials from CONCORD codicils on Emergent Threat Case Red Gamma. While you have wisely declined to show us more than the vague shadows of your fears on the wall of the cave of the mind’s eye, indistinct and half-seen shapes swathed in murk and gloom tend to inspire the wildest and most fevered imaginings and also considerably more fear than what walks in plain sight under the full light of day.

This hinting at your concerns while keeping their specifics private has therefore proved greatly encouraging to the more imaginative among us. We look forward with great anticipation to your future portentous mutterings, tantalizing hints, and panic-inducing leakages.

Sincerely,

Everyone

PS:

“Takes one to know one,” does it? You might as well have said we all look the same to you.

So be it. Sir.


(Nauplius) #4

I resent the implication, Ms. Jenneth, that the Triglavian Trinary Datastream Weaponization Citadel is a product of “fevered imagining”.


(Jorge Stanton) #5

Fuckin’ blooders…


(Tyrel Toov) #6

Well, the good news is that we won’t have to waste time bashing a citadel. The drifters will do that for us… now of only they could find a way to permanently kill Naups.


(Veikitamo Gesakaarin) #7

The image I have of Nauplius involved in the Sisyphean task of stacking and unstacking Trinary data for all eternity is pretty damn amusing.


(Tyrel Toov) #8

Every time he gets close to cracking the code, the drifters come and blap him.


(Rhoxy Runekin) #9

I too could not help but imagine him and his, erm, acolytes moving each 1kg storage device in some perilous stacked tower of blocks. pulling them out and stacking it higher and higher, until…


(Nauplius) #10

The stacking and restacking of Triglavian Trinary Data is performed by slaves, two thousand of them in fact. These are in addition to the 99,208 Freed Slaves who will become experimental subjects as soon as an Emergent Threat Case Red Gamma Incident Class A, Class B, or Class AB occurs.

Since my last posting, the size of the Trinary Datastream stockpile as become considerably larger; may God bless us with an Emergent Threat Case Red Gamma Incident soon.


(Aldrith Shutaq) #11

At least go do it in Minmatar space you degenerate mental invalid.


(Nauplius) #12

Sir, the Minmatar will attack me as soon as I enter their disgusting rust-tinged space.


(Arsia Elkin) #13

More people should follow their example.


(Constantin Baracca) #14

You built a facility… attempting to build a superweapon… and study the unpredictable and assumedly apocalyptic results… in Mehatoor… for the Empire?

Without even delving into the rather obvious aspects of why this is a bad idea, you couldn’t have done this in null space? Far, far, FAR into null space? Where your best case scenario doesn’t harm our actual citizenry?


(Elsebeth Rhiannon) #15

Sort out your own problems, Newelle.


(Arrendis) #16

Oy, stupid. One’s occurring right now in Semiki. Do you really think Drifters are going to care about just attacking your ‘test subjects’? That unrelated Golem pilot they blew away nowhere near the cits might disagree.


(Jason Galente) #17

And not a single person is surprised.

Mehatoor is two jumps out. Paging Arsia Elkin.

Then again, this will probably sort itself out real quick.


(Deitra Vess) #18

Wouldn’t it be great if it turned them into super soldiers or some other thing like that and they beat the **** out of Nauplius and co.?


(Diana Kim) #19

I have been pondering about how that even theoretically could work, but the only idea that was coming into my head was a picture of Mr. Nauplius running after a slave and beating him with a NeoCom memory card, while the slave was jumping after each strike and yelping “Ow Ouch Owiee Aie Ow”


(Constantin Baracca) #20

If it was anything that benign, it would be a godsend.