Bizarre conspiracy theory floods Khanid Kingdom social media

A bizarre conspiracy theory about the detention of former Royal Uhlans Sardar-Colonel Orlon Zashev has sprung up on most Kingdom social media networks, alleging that not only is it not the real Orlon Zashev that was detained by House Sarum elements, but that one of the capsuleers involved is not human !

Were-creatures !

The theory alleges that the capsuleer known as Aldrith Shutaq, who was instrumental in the capture and detention of Orlon Zashev, is not a Ni-Kunni, but instead a “were-horse”, a half-human, half-animal creature capable of shape-shifting. This alleged were-horse nature of Captain Shutaq is supposedly the reason behind his renowned luxurious long hair, and not an extensive haircare & grooming regime.

Doppelgangers !

The theory also claims that pictures taken of Orlon Zashev after his detention prove that the individual pictured is an impostor, asserting that the real Orlon Zashev has a scar running from above one eyebrow down one side of his nose, whereas the pictured individual lacks such a scar. It uses a quote supposedly from a former Royal Uhlans officer to support this claim, though regimental records show no officer by the name used in the conspiracy theory.

Politics !

The main argument of the conspiracy theory, is that this is all a plot by House Sarum elements to undermine King Khanid IIIs right to contest the Imperial Succession as the Heir of House Khanid, and to undermine the Kingdom’s current autonomy, and create a Sarum vassal state from the Kingdom territory.

Shenanigans !

Gutter Press spoke to analysts at several social media platforms, who revealed that this conspiracy theory appeared at roughly the same time, across all the different social media outlets, with the origin seemingly from a poster located on the planet Danera V.

Kingdom officials have told Gutter Press that while this theory has spread rapidly, there does not appear to have been any significant unrest or disturbances caused by it, and that they consider it to be of no concern at this time, though are ready to intervene should the situation change.

Gutter Press. Not written by were-horses.

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Can confirm.

Source: I’ve known him since YC114 and maintain a residence in his family’s estate.

Thank you as always for the “quality” journalism.

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Should I waste precious time and energy pointing out the numerous flaws and misstatements in this report?

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  • Horsie!

0 voters

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His loathing of the Kingdom is explained. He is jealous that he was not born into the place where he could be properly treasured and instead he has to go around neighing and kicking and making problems.

And eating grass, probably. Mash, certainly.

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He can certainly drink like a horse.

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This is quite possibly the best thing I’ve read on here in ages.

The truth is known at last.

May Sa-Baron Chakaid give us victory against Molok the Deceiver and his were-horse Sarumite army.

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