EVE jokes!


(Smuff Gallente) #1

i’ll start this
Why did the Dev cross the road?
I’m sorry the logs show nothing


(Piugattuk) #2

GM, expectations of a problem solved, they laugh at us around the cooler.


(Corraidhin Farsaidh) #3

How many Devs does it take to change a bulb? 6, one to hold the bulb and 5 to wait for the world to turn whilst telling you there’ll be light Soon™


(Smuff Gallente) #4

Two more…
Q. How many PL pilots Does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Depends on how long it takes for CCP to arrive

Q. How many CVA pilots does it take to defend their space?
A. Who knows its never been done


(Smuff Gallente) #5

-How many carebears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Three - one to screw it in, one to screw it back in after it falls out, and one to complain about this magical fantastic ghost called “gravity” that keeps disrupting the carebears’ mining.


(Rosov Aulmais) #6

This thread has run its course.


(Smuff Gallente) #7

i got a few more


(Smuff Gallente) #8

A carrier pilot named Guy
Thought he was too smart to die
He went out alone
With an outdated clone
Now he’s training Frig 5 in Yulai


(Smuff Gallente) #9

and with that i’m done digging into the old forums what happend to this game So many good jokes no one to share them with anymore


(Kiddoomer) #10

Found on reddit :

Why did the caldari trainee got bored of gallente school ?

Because the teachers kept droning on

another one from someone else :

What kind of missile launchers do pirate use ?

ARRRRRbalest


(Sebat Hadah) #11

From: @Alessienne_Ellecon
Your mama’s so fat she could be fitted with her own jump drive.

Your mama’s so fat she’s not allowed in highsec.

Your mama’s so old she has Jovian drinking buddies.

Your mama’s so ugly she gives Sansha nightmares.

Your mama’s so mean she puts bounties on ISDs.

Your mama’s so ugly she scares off Drifters.

Your mama’s so mean she made The Mittani cry.

Your mama’s so cheap she made Rupee Rue lose ISK.

Your mama’s so poor she can’t even afford a pod.

Your mama’s so nasty her pod fluid requires specialist biohazard disposal.

Your mama’s so mean CODE buys permits from her.

A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you’re aware, we’re experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don’t be alarmed when it happens."
Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there’s a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.
The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"
The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"
The Caldari is thinking: “This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!”


(Sebat Hadah) #12

hers an old one from 2007. Author: Atreides Horza

An amarr pilot comes across a sub-spatial ethereal being fresh out of Jove space and is granted one wish only.

The amarr pilot thinks carefully, then hands the being a chip containing a 3D-starmap says:

“I want you to sketch out new borders and create a peace accord between all the major races of the known universe that will put an end to the centuries of war and bring prosperity to mankind.”

The ethereal being scratches its non-existant head and says: “You know… I said you could wish for anything, but this might just be a tad out of my league. Isn’t there another wish I can grant you?”

The amarr pilot answers promtly and hands the being a holopicture: "Well, then… This is my amarr wife, and I want you to make her into the most beautiful and sexy women in the known universe.

The ethereal being looks at the holopicture, obviously grief-stricken, and says quietly: “Yo man, hand me that starmap again, will ya?”


(system) #13

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