GM Week – Item Description Contest!

Fighter Support Unit

Original called “Drone Control Unit” this was the culmination of the prior research points being combined together. Installing super computers to the host ship the “Fighter Support Units” were able to make several key adjustments, the drawback was the required power needed. The massive draw of power meant this could only be effectively operated on Carriers and Super Carriers but that power draw would be well worth it as this unit was able to not only enhance offensive capabilities, but also how to modulate shields to allow for enhanced shield durability and regeneration.
No word from CreoDron R&D team’s lead Engineer has been heard since the production of the “Fighter Support Unit”.

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Aurum tokens
All the economic appeal of a failed cryptocurrency with the added bitterness of Confederate dollars or Mussolini money.

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Ragnarok
From the dark ages of slavery , from the blood of our sisters brothers fathers mothers our ragnarok rise to make minmatar people free once more again to fullfil their desire of home and freedom our last bastion of hope
The ragnarok use to be a punish for the minmatar people they saw their raganarok coming one day from another with no end , been slaves , been freedom dreamers they créate a hope within the same end the ragnarok titan class vessel is their hope to find a new home and live in freedom until the same end

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Test Bong
A curious device invented by two booster addicts whos names are long since forgotten to history. They were attempting to reduce the “suicide by thruster” rate among station workers trying to use vaporization intake methods to consume boosters.

There is a large amount of residue on the device indicating it has been heavily used by its previous owner.

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Miner

Old: A sturdy miner.

New:

Cutting, blasting and disintegrating New Edens asteroid belts, the Miner plays an important part in everyday life of each Capsuleer. Not only does the common Miner facilitate in the mass production of ships, modules and other resources New Eden has come to enjoy, Miners have simply become the essential building block necessary for the many factions, alliances and corporations to thrive. There are however, those that disagree. Frequent rumors emerge from various systems that describe the hard-working miner, as nothing more than a ‘carebear’.

*Catalyst has landed on Grid, let’s establish communication." - Final voice recording of Miner 875141 during a fateful encounter in Niarja.

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Ibis. The little savior of Hi-Sec heavy transports. The heavy haulers were cruising through HI-Sec with their auto-pilots on. Taking naps I guess. Well these cut throat pilots would jump those big boys and destroy them in mass. The bloated, rich transports probably never woke up before they died. That is when I had an idea. Wake them up!
I got these cheap Ibis. I put a festival launcher on it, and a few pieces of captured electronic equipment. CHEAP! When the pirates were gutting a High Sec route, I would roll out and start shooting their soon to be targets with a light and sound show before the pirates got there. I woke the big boys up with fireworks and then tell them to re-act now. Even if the pirates attacked me. The Ibis and equipment was incredibly cheap. They would lose a lot more. And guess what. The crew I was saving would give me pretty nice rewards sometimes. Be a hero!

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Capsule

Take twice daily with Quafe. Do not exceed daily dose.


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Applies to all missiles except torpedos:

In the age of raw destructive energy and powerful force projection, why would you place all of your hopes and dreams into a tiny box and fling it off into the void never to be seen again? These tiny floating time capsules can be seen coalescing into an Oort cloud in most systems in New Eden, all of them a desperate cry of helpless rage as whatever they were shot at either out ran them, or died under a drone’s guns anyway.

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Bozonaro’s (animal/creature) item

An animal from extinted planet Earth. Similar to an humanoid, but with a brain even smaller than the neandhertal ones. Some says that this creatures helped the mass extinction on Earth because they helped to put fire on Amazon forest.
They are very rare creatures these days, breeded on laboratories to be sold like souvenirs to remember the human beings. These creatures like to eat all the time and, as they eat, they ■■■■ all around… For this reason, some cientists believe that these creatures has solitary habits.

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1.) Apparel (all - ! - )

I found out how to use apparel by opening a Ticket.

Information about possible combinations should be added -
for example: To use a Triglavian Suit you are not able to see facial deails.
Ok, self-explaining if you would see the whole suit in the preview - but do you?

2.) Pilot`s Body Resculpt certificate

  • should be named “Face Resculpt Certificate”
  • it should be added a text: “not necessary to change clothes” - if that is true …

3.) “Character Customization” - button

should be removed an be substituted by doubleclick on apparel

4.) Remove the Resculpt Certificate?

average is 2 traded a day in Jita … (laugh?)

-> let the people choose their face-expression, afterwards let them decide to “buy” / “pay” …

=> creates the possibility to adapt your face in eve to your daily “mood” … possibilities - just saying …

  • well - guess i am a litte off-topic … :wink:
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Python Mine

At one point the Python Mine was classified as a weapon of mass destruction. Capable of crushing an entire combat fleet in a moment. This momento of the past can now be found in most capsuleer’s homes finding new uses such as: A makeshift baby mobile for an infants crib, a door stop, or a frisbee to throw back and forth with little Johnny.

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For the (Tormentor)

[Before] “The Tormentor has been in service for many decades. For most of that time it saw service as a mining ship, its size barring it from making any kind of impact on the battlefield. As with most Amarr ships, however, its strong defenses always made it a tough opponent to crack, and with recent advances in turret capacitor use and damage output, its lasers have now stopped digging into dead ore and are instead focused on boring through the hulls of hapless vessels in combat.”

[After] “The Tormentor of the eyes, has been in service for many decades. For most of that time it saw service as a mining ship, and kept out of combat. Its shape also made no sense as the designers were probably drunk and didn’t know about center of gravity thrust. As with most Amarr ships, however its strong defenses made it tough to crack. It would later be used in combat with the development of advance turret capacitor use and damage output. Its lasers no longer used for mining, now terrorize its enemies as one of the ugliest, bizarre, and most awkward ships to fight.”

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Wasp EC-900

This Heavy ECM Drone can make your enemies ship basically useless for a short time.
WARNING: May cause other pilot to be angry.

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Metal Scraps are quite common but Reinforced Metal Scraps are not. It seems to me a pity that they share the same item description, hence I’ve written this. I have a bit of history with them but that is a story for another time : )

Reinforced Metal Scraps

Though recycling this material yields a staggering five times the Tritanium of regular Metal Scraps, you have heard whispers of a cult who view this action as a defilement. Perhaps you’d be better served trying to sell the scrap to them? Or maybe sending them a lengthy video of the recycling process is more your style.

Either way, the Reinforced Metal Scraps don’t seem like they mind.

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Fedo

This flailing pile of spiky tentacles is by far one of the most cursed creatures in existence. It is both blind and deaf and for reasons unknown is incapable of digesting food. It is so useless that It cannot process food faster than it rots thus creating a horrendous smell that it uses to communicate like some form of primitive horror fart from the most hell-like planet imaginable. This pile of spongy pity is proof enough for anyone who believes in reincarnation and karma to sit down and stop touching the thermostat.

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I’ve always had trouble keeping strip miners descriptions straight especially when I was newer so here are my changes

Modulated Strip Miner II
Current Description: The Modulated Strip Miner II uses many of the same crystal frequency modulation technologies as the Modulated Deep Core Miner II, except it lacks the deep core mining capacity of its smaller sibling. Can only be fit to Mining Barges and Exhumers. Uses mining crystals. Cannot fit a mercoxit mining crystal.

New Description: The Modulated Strip Miner II uses many of the same crystal frequency modulation technologies as the Deep Core Strip Miner II, except it lacks the ability to mine Mercoxit. Can only be fit to Mining Barges and Exhumers. Using mining crystals boost output greatly, surpassing tech 1 Strip Miner’s. Cannot fit a mercoxit mining crystal.

Modulated Deep Core Strip Miner II
Current Description: The modulated deep core miner is a technological marvel that combines the capacities of the commonly used Miner II with that of the deep core mining laser. Using a modular mining crystal system, it can be altered on the fly for maximum efficiency. Can only be fit to Mining Barges and Exhumers.
Change name- Deep Core Strip Miner II
New Description: The deep core strip miner is a technological marvel that combines the capacities of the commonly used Miner II with that of the deep core mining laser. It’s main use is to mine Mercoxit effectively. It’s mining crystal system can be used to boost mining of other ores, though it’s output is less effective than Modulated Strip Miner II. Can only be fit to Mining Barges and Exhumers.

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Tritanium
The main building block in EVE scams. A very hard, yet versatile scam. Cannot be used in human scams due to instability it causes to copypaste fingers. Very common in Jita IV - Moon 4 - Caldari Navy Assembly Plant.

Original description:
The main building block in space structures. A very hard, yet bendable metal. Cannot be used in human habitats due to its instability at atmospheric temperatures. Very common throughout the universe.

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Information Command Burst Module

This module is basically a combination tool of a large disperal sand particle projector and megaphone designed to constantly transmit audio data across sand particles in a wide spherical field to relentlessly inform capsuleers of what they are doing wrong. With the use of scripted fluid router call center flow charts, this device can be tuned to deliver a never ending telemarketer experience to all of your fleet mates informing them how to not get disrupted by enemy sensor and tracking disrupters, how to squint for farther and faster targetting of their own, and lastly how to hold their mouths right for better range and stronger use of their own electronic warfare gear including sensor dampeners, weapon disruptors, target painters, and targeted electronic countermeasure modules.

“What motivating voice did your Info Command burst come in, Ex-Wife or Mother-in-law? Oh I got the deluxe model, it sounds like the GPS assistant in my luxury liner when I’m flying the wrong way. Bing Bong, please execute a U-turn at your next safe convenience.”

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Frozen Corpse:
Gooey, squishy thing, that can be found inside a capsule.

And my humble idea:
In the field of description, I would enjoy detailed blueprints (maybe 3D?) of items, and especially ships. (dimensions, capsule location, size of human to the ship or item, size of capsule to the ship)
I think, that what is missing for more immersion.
And it would be fun to see size of charge and weapon, compared to person or capsule.

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Item: EvE Online
Description: Chaos Era? Or CCP management pecking the heads of the devs, scrabbling around and introducing pointless updates/patches, and ideas (regardless if you’re pro/con). Stop fecking around with the game, and give back to the capsuleers who will make EvE, and gameplay great again.
Footnote: What do you think the chances of this winning??

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