Horror in Lirsautton!

Content Warning: Readers of a sensitive disposition may wish to look away !

Horrifying News from Lirsautton VII

Horrifying news reaches Gutter Press from Lirsautton VII where the partial corpse of Jasmine Talie-Kuo, a noted Quafe Girl from Tei-Su, was discovered in a chemical tank in one of the many Quafe Company factories !

Gruesome !

Maintenance technicians at the Quafe facility were alerted early on Saturday to a fault at a bulk chemical storage tank, and upon inspection found an osteoplastic pelvis and thigh bones inside the tank. Corporate police were called, and an investigation begun.

Murder ?

The local medical examiner, whose normal work consists mostly of investigating industrial accidents involving machinery alongside routine deaths amongst the vast population of Quafe Company orbital stations, said that it was “inconclusive” as to whether murder was the cause of death, though noted that “it’s not like you can misplace your pelvis easily”.

Dissolution !

No other remains were found, and the bones themselves were clean of all organic material, as the chemical tank’s normal content was sufficiently acidic to dissolve a human body, according to a Quafe company chemical engineer, while osteoplastic bones are made of a chemically inert material.

Cosmetic surgery !

The bones were identified as belonging to Ms.Talie-Kuo by tracing their serial numbers, which led to a cosmetic surgery clinic on Tei-Su (Lirsautton V). A spokesperson for the clinic said that they did not talk to the media, for reasons of patient confidentiality.

Product recall !

A Quafe Company press release announced a recall of recently produced batches of Quafe from the Lirsautton factory involved, though stressed that none of the affected batches had reached consumer outlets, and were still in warehouses and distribution facilities.
A spokesperson at Lirsautton VII said that “We wish to reassure our loyal customers that there will be no interruption to customer supplies, and that they can continue to enjoy the cool, refreshing taste that Quafe is intergalactically renowned for”.

Collectors item ?

Meanwhile, on a darknet Quafe enthusiast site, several collectors expressed a desire to obtain cans and bottles from the recalled batches, claiming that they would have unparalleled collectors value.
“People go nuts for Quafe bottles from other planets, imagine how much they’d pay for cans of MurderQuafe !”, said one enthusiast.

Vengeance !

Meanwhile, on Lirsautton III (Hulang), a boss from the Black Dragon Society, an organised crime & martial arts group, stated that they would take “Whatever action is necessary to bring Ms.Talie-Kuo’s killer to justice”.
The Hulang Police Department warned that any extrajudicial killing would be severely punished.


I must see my therapist immediately… That was my initial thought before even reaching that part of the article :wink:

…Quafe++ anyone?

I won’t be surprised if somebody eventually will find something like a severed finger in their Quafe can.

Dear @Muck_Raker,

Have you considered collecting (on commision ofc) spicy news reports and holoreels materials from freelance Capsuleers not being members of Gutter Press?

I bet every one has a story or two to share :wink:

I think SCC is working on some regulations allowing members of one corporation do side jobs for others to be ready for implementation by June this year iirc :thinking:

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