Hi mate, Welcome to New Eden! I am not sure what type of ‘gank’ you suffered but they are rarely warrent of a GF TBH. If it was a suicide gank then I would just LOL tbh.
If it was on a low sec gate then they can be frustrating, and some gate gankers can be very ‘noisy’ which adds to the potential saltiness of the reaction.
But as others have said talking to them could actually be the most productive thing to do.
There is a difference between ‘fighting’ and ‘killing’ which most appreciate.
If it was as situation you had no way to survive you didn’t ‘fail’, though there is always something to review for next time, recon, intel, ship choice etc.
When i agress a newbro now and then , as low sec local it is kinda my job, I let one burst of salt pass and if they chat after they will get some advice, some ISK and maybe a link or two. And we like many groups only recruit people we met through some form of fight.
Learn to keep your risks manageable so no loss is real damage to you and you except that unless you always play it very safe you will lose ships now and then, but what is the ISK for anyway?
If you give me more detail of what happened I can suggest ways of avoiding a repeat if it may help, either here or in game.
I make a lot of vids about staying safe and getting rich in the more perilous parts of New Eden using cheaper ships while you learn the ropes.
Lesson one should be D Scan, though it wont help with landing in a camp.
How to Use The D Scan. Offence and Defence
Simples, follow this picture guide:
YES -
NO -
Anger/bitterness is usually a result of your mental framing of an issue. ‘Expectation’ is a key one.
If your loss is proportionally significant, it hurts, you react. So if your total net worth is 10 million, and you just lost a ship worth 3.5 million, that’s a pretty big setback. If your net worth is 2 billion, and you lose a ship worth 3.5 million, you just go buy another and don’t even notice.
If your expectation was high, and you get nuked, it’s irritating. “I just trained my way into a battlecruiser, spent half my ISK on a new one, fitted it out with the best I could fit, and now I’m heading out to crush some rats, woo-hoo!”. (2 jumps later, BAM blown up.)
That’s gonna hurt because your expectation and proportional value were high, and you got dunked hard.
When you frame the issue as a value-contest (they were ‘better/stronger/faster’ than me) then it hurts because you take a stab to your self-image/esteem and feel less worthy.
Many times your actual anger is at yourself because as soon as the engagement starts you know you’ve made a mistake, you’re about to lose your ship, and it’s your own fault. So the anger is there but it’s much easier to aim it at the other guy.
So re-frame your risk level and your expectations. Remind yourself every time you undock “this ship may be blown up any time”. I joke and undock with the phrase “We who are about to die salute you!” in the back of my head.
- Don’t risk more than about 5% of your net worth in any ship.
- Don’t frame it as value-comparison, because it’s not a “better than” situation, it’s a “who made more appropriate choices in advance” situation.
- Don’t let eagerness for something new cause you to risk too much too soon.
- Don’t let your expectations get too high. Use expectations like “this will be nice if it works out, and if it doesn’t I can always try again”.
- Think of every death or failure as a valuable learning experience that will accumulate over time to make you much safer and harder to kill.
And as for the “gf” replies, I don’t usually go that way because often it’s not. Often it’s just a one-sided lamer setup that you had zero chance in. However even in those cases you can respond truthfully with “Thank you, I appreciate the lesson, what do you feel was my key error here?”
This is a reminder to them and yourself that you see this as a learning expense, not a total loss. And it often derails any salt-baiting they typically do. If you do see salt-baiting, just ignore and move on. It says far more about their personality than it does about your playstyle or skill.
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