I AM A CODE. SPACE PRINCESS

So like, We don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a Princess in Highsec. It’s like totally allowed by the rules. We also like don’t think there is anything wrong with the dolphin drawing racket either, as that’s allowed. Going above and beyond these activities to then like attempt to change the gender and species of the person behind the computer for the purpose of like romantic roleplay in Second Life? Playing people’s emotions to turn them into like a space Dolphiness? Are these things like good sportsmanship, metagaming and like okay behavior?

We shall like introduce ourselves briefly. So like, We are a current CODE. CEO, recruiteress, authentic space Princess, and like gankerette. We were like in the New Order for more than 80’000 years and the CODE. alliance for like 6 years or so, and recently got knocked up. Our wake-up call that got Us off the street corner was admittedly when a Second Life ‘client’ of ours mentioned a conversation he had with another client - let’s just like call him Tweepers. An alliance mate had like apparently (wink wink) accepted CEO from a CODE. corp We had founded and given to some like beta male nobody to run, lol, like booting everyone and taking it out of the alliance. We retook the corp with like shares and have now like disbanded it. So … like We’re salty, disgusted, perhaps even like a little aroused … like whatever. But, this all like really has got Us thinking back on Our reasons for having originally become a Princess, and Our subsequent employment as a couch girl at like Don’s Dolphinarium.

We hadn’t been playing Eve lately and had like mostly stopped undocking when We originally became a Princess. For a good six years like on and off, though, We were like a gankerette and were, like, featured in many minerbumping foldouts, high resolution shots, and [CONTENT HIDDEN FROM NON-SUBSCRIBERS. VISIT MY ONLYFANS BONUS PAGE FOR A SUBSCRIPTION!]. We have as well like been a staple feature on many a space casting couch (Yes it’s a thing ;)!). So like, We have a lot of jelly critics and former fan beta orbiters, but like none can deny that We were, at one time, like accomplished in getting attention from commoners, seducing carebears and gankers alike with Our impish smile and sultry demure.

Thing is, though all us ganking girls like always said there is like totally a huge difference between what and whom We do in-game and IRL, it just so happens that We are also like someone who also has like clinical issues with nymphomania and some needy desperate tendencies IRL. These past six years, We were in a bad position like due to the rise of climate change, working at the like liquor store and dating a couple Johns. There are like normal suicide ganks after which it’s understood that it’s just a trick and you like let the John go, but that’s not what We did in the New Order. We’d like then proceed to mail the victim and use any and all methods to emotionally manipulate and seduce them into giving us pictures of rare dolphins and jewelry and furry Dalmatian coats and ivory sculptures. And in some cases, we would like make them become princesses. We made them learn to walk and talk and make love like a real Princess like me.

It’s a bit cruel, and when We like did these things, it really did like fuel Our own megalomaniac needs and give us a sense of importance We lacked in Second Life. What appealed even more to the temptress in Us was that like being a Space Princess is actually very risk free. The party supplies are like cheap and so having fun generates very little in the way of like measurable loss, unlike when We went on a bender in Vegas and woke up and realized We were like in a plural marriage again, to a pair of spouses of uncertain lineage. Once you learn the basic mechanics of being a Princess it is actually pretty easy and hard to like fail at. Are We right?

Anyway, so like, now that We’ve recently left the indoctrinated mindset, it really does occur to Us that We’ve likely done much messed up stuff with commoners just to entertain Our royal court. Not just the erotic roleplay or like the ganking, but there are legitimately commoners We’ve banished from the realm or trapped inside magical crystals forever. We can’t really say if others in CODE. are like Us, but We can honestly say that this was like part of what fueled Our zest for the New Order.

If like what We did was wrong, well shucks, all We can do is apologize for Our stunning tight curves, heart-breaking ways, and direct Royal hotline to Almighty James Himself. We can as well be honest about like how We were very wrong for a long time, or were We like right? In our real life, We have made many embarrassing public one night stands and were caught several times moonlighting at the local stables; and We stood against the evil ways of the real life space bullies, like Elon and Armstrong. It’s, like, likely, like We have just refused to recognize the same behavior in ourselves here in New Eden, or on Twitter, or Second Life, or that time in like Our Minecraft dungeon. Maybe all We can do is to be like honest and kind and just and right - is that even possible? Like, hello?

:tipping_hand_woman:

15 Likes

Probably drugs, but what sort?

1 Like

Praise James.

6 Likes

That’s a lot of likes. Like a LOT of likes.

1 Like

Like, I like know ok, but like, do you like it, like, like like it?

7 Likes

I guess so, it’s hard to not like the word like because it implies so much likeliness

Shouldn’t this be in the RP section though? :thinking:

Knowing Aiko this isn’t roleplay. In fact the very suggestion of such a thing is very mean to me.

1 Like

There isn’t a Real Princess section yet…
That is a Crime and someone needs to be Punished.

5 Likes

:princess:

5 Likes

Totes

2 Likes

So your CSM campaign is about getting a wider selection of shoes in the NEX store?

3 Likes

So like, this is all I got from this.

1 Like

We’ll like read a wall of like text, but not if it’s like poorly written. Like, that post made our brain like hurt. Naturally, we didn’t like get far enough to like decipher what you were like talking about, but we did want to like give like a like like minus 1 to your writing.

likely,
Likewreck Likes

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TL:DR

I thoroughly enjoyed it, a well written and amusing piece of work - well done Aiko :clap:

4 Likes

This gives me an idea. They should rename ISK to StarBucks.

Whatcha think?

3 Likes

Instead of tritanium, miners could mine me a double mocha latte.

4 Likes

With pumpkin spice?

1 Like

You sound like a Karen. Just say’n.