Im afraid to solo gank

I have gone through what you are experiencing.

I had doubts.

Lost faith in myself.

But, I read James’ writings. I studied CODE.'s killboard for inspiration.

And yet, I lacked the confidence I could make a difference.

Until one day, I ran across him.* His name was so vile, so repugnant, I could not believe the universe itself had permitted his inception.

And, my temper knew no bounds. In some way I had no choice. I had to act. I had to gank this social miscreant. I had to let this character know there were those who would take a stand against this solecism.

I made 16 jumps, grabbed the only ship I possessed I thought would do the job and went back. He was still in system.

He…with his name. His corp mates were there. And I doubted. My fury and indignation had got me this far; but I doubted.

Could I do it? Could I gank this character whose only reason for existence was in giving offense to all those who witnessed his passing in local? Was my faith strong enough in my cause that…that faith would take me one necessary step further?

I knew that if I did not act, at that moment, no one would…and this I could not bear.

So I fired. I fired in anger. I fired in despair, in disappointment, and in faith. Faith that I could make a difference, even if that difference was made only one gank at a time.

Look within, Aiko (if I may call you Aiko), and recognize that faith, (even if you cannot muster it for yourself), but Faith in Your Cause will carry you forward.

You can do this. You can.

Because the sacrifice of your doubt, in yourself, is a worthy offering…to your Cause.

And your Cause is worth it.

o7

*I am not a member of CODE.; but have sought inspiration from their actions in my own personal crusade against c/rudely named characters frequenting the space lanes of New Eden.

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Deal with evil through strength. But affirm the good in man through trust. In this way, we are prepared for evil, but we encourage good

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Don’t be so hard on yourself, @Aiko_Danuja. You have the courage to do some things many would be embarassed or unwilling to do … like catfishing guys with your girl toon. That’s some creative metagaming there that’d I’d never think of. If I did want to do that, I imagine it’d take some guts. Poor @Overmind_Niminen I think genuinely believed you were his girlfriend for a long time.

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Oh my gosh, people these days are soo cruel. I am so sorry this happened to you. I would say that you should report them for griefing, but unfortunately CCP encourages this sort of mean-spirited behavior. All I can say is that to me you’ll always be a pro. EVE is a real e-sport and you are my Michael Jordan.

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I will grant you this privilege.

Fit your strongest Civilian Gatling Railgun and hit that pathetic miner with everything you’ve got. You can do this, I believe in you.

I’m still trying to understand what EVE developer thought civilians should have gatling railguns.

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That’s a common misconception, it’s a gatling railgun that fires civilians. Technically it’s a biological weapon.

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Can we be real here, though? I mean, comedy is a distraction. You’re like the only person in CODE. that’s actually unable to do some solo PvP, ganks, whatever. I mean, are you that afraid to fail, Aiko? You’ve put so much effort into building a misleading killboard just by F1 monkeying, and you are now being challenged to actually do some PvP, and all you have is jokes.

Now, of course, most CODE. people’s solo kills include several of their dps alts and wouldn’t show on their solo killboards. Those still count. You, however, only have two subbed accounts, so you can either be one scout and one ganker or 2 dps in someone else’s fleet. This makes it easy to see what you as an “agent” have accomplished right on zkill.

It’s bizarre, and I think I’m onto something. Despite your comedy routine, you really are afraid to fail, aren’t you?

I think I might be able to help, though this is coming from an high sec miner support group called Frostpacker \o/

Travel to Jita and buy yourself a Praxis
Fit the top slots with large smart bombs
Undock and head out around 1 km.
Change your security status from goodie to baddie
Now all at the same time activate the smart bombs.

The above should help take away the shakes.

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Oh, look who posted for the first time! Welcome to the forums! :hugs:

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Instead of hiding behind the comedy routine @Aiko_Danuja, why not use this post as an opportunity to genuinely and honestly tell us what’s holding you back. Something clearly is. It’s certainly not a matter of time. You’ve plenty of time to “plus one” with others and talk on forums. Do you expect anyone to really believe you don’t want to be able to do some ganks on your own?

There are noob that joined New Order Logistics and quit that have the same solo kills as you. All you’re ever really able to do when pressed is offer up a distraction (“look Lewak lost a venture once” - remember that excuse?) or just jokes. Don’t hide behind jokes, Aiko. Be brave enough to be real with us. You alluded to it in private to me a long time back. You’re like really picky about losing or something, right? Remind me and tell us for realz. Why not?

The best gank I have ever had, I have had to wait for. The technical term for this is called “Edging.” Edging is when you bring yourself to the edge of ganking and then stop. It’s all about coming very close and then pulling away. It’s all about heightened arousal, hinting at more, anticipation, waiting, yearning, getting close, hunger and then finally jumping to low sec before allowing yourself to let go.

Wouldn’t you like a gank story that you can make your own?

Please hold back and refrain from high sec ganking and focus on releasing all that built up tension in low sec.

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How do I do that?

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Jokes and changing the subject / distractions still? Tell us what the thing is. Remember? It was something about like chess or you hate losing or you’re like really particular, right? I’ll bet if you told us honestly what the issue was, it’d be a step towards being able to pvp. We had this convo a long time back when you were really worried about the venture loss on your scout showing on zkill or maybe before. I just don’t remember it as detailed as you could explain it. It’s a real thing. It’s there. You know it, and I do. Face it and tell us. This is your thread. Instead of making trying to laugh off your risk averse thing, why not be true to the actual post topic and tell us for real what it is. It’s there. There’s something stopping you. Why joke? Everyone’s got issues and quirks. Just tell us all like you told me back then.

It’s true, I play chess, I offer chess lessons via skype - $20 for 50 minutes.

You are doing it all wrong.

https://zkillboard.com/kill/77661847/ is how you do it.

Oh, really? And they don’t have a relationship anymore? @Aiko_Danuja would you want to be my girlfriend? Imagine what could come up from that… :hugs: :heart_eyes: :kissing_heart: :heartbeat:

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Aw that’s so sweet. :relaxed:

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