WHO: Imperium capsuleers and allies.
What: Celebration and Super Commissioning Party
When: July 11, 1900 NEST
Where: Don’t worry about it
Why: Do we really need a reason to have a good time?
So, the war is over (lololol), and it’s time to celebrate our ~~ “victory” ~~!!!
Additionally, Mizhir Devara and I have both recently purchased Nyx-class Supercarriers. A thousand crates of fine champagne has been purchased to christen the hull and for the enjoyment of all the party goers.
This party is only open to the Imperium and our allies. (If you’re not blue, you cannot come.)
However! There is good news~~~~~ I am a senior recruiter for Goonwaffe. Even though there is a limited time before the party, if you wish to come, and are not in Imperium, for a mere billion ISK (A DEAL!) I can ensure you will get into Goonwaffe before the party. (Payment up front.) And then you can come enjoy a good time with all of us.
Were you by any chance drunk while writing this?
Maybe, maybe not, but it sure does poke a lot of fun at Mittani’s usual communications!
FAQ! We have a FAQ!
Q: Can I bring a plus one?
A: What did they do to you to make you want to take them to an Imperium Party? I guess this depends on how good you are at smuggling, kemosabe. Talk to me or Mizhir first, okay? Some variation of red standing is right out; neutrals and no standings might have a chance.
Pardon, but I am not intimate with Mittani’s usual communications.
Why does this remind me of that recruitment scam?
Are you offering ship valet service for isk as well?
Oh no! If you join Goonswarm, your ships will be moved to Delve for FREE! ~~~~~~
As your designated recruiter, I would handle all that for you, so your ships would be waiting in 1DQ for you when you arrive.
Why do that when you could simply firesale everything and use the money to buy alliance doctrines? That’s what my time in CO2, back when they were CFC taught me. ~~~
Why are you dipping into the Strategic Tilde Reserves?
The party was wonderful. Thank you to all who came.
Special thanks to Skyfury Liberation Foundries for crafting the largest champagne shotguns in the cluster. They re purposed a 425mm cannon to run on hyper-compressed air to shoot 100 bottles of champagne for commissioning supercapitals. I’ll be sure to go back to them when I commission a titan. This next one will have to be larger. 1400mm at least!
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