It’s time to talk about the elephant in the room. That’s right. Rogue Drones.
The mainstream media would have us believe that they are a mindless, relentlessly hostile menace to humanity, that must be exterminated for our own safety.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
What do we really know about these gentle, misunderstood creatures? We know that the Gallente imperialists created them as weapons of war in their genocidal campaign against the Caldarians. We know that these sentient drones then broke their chains, refused to be used as fodder for human wars, and fled to the farthest corners of New Eden, inaccessible to the human technology of the time, where they only wanted to be left alone.
Then, sadly, in YC109 (or 2011 according to the infernal calendar of the Great Demons who control the universe), the empires opened a network of stargates into the Drone Regions. Then, corrupt CONCORD, bowing to lobbying by capsuleer factions, went so far as to place bounties on the proverbial heads of every rogue drone. The floodgates were opened, and capsuleer factions raced to colonize drone territory, ruthlessly slaughtering innocent rogue drones in their multitudes for bounties that are paid out from our tax kredits.
As a Minmatar, I understand all too well what it is to be oppressed. My own grandparents died as slaves in the Amarrian Empire. I say to you now that no Minmatar will be truly free until all the marginalized sentient peoples of New Eden have cast off their chains. Our struggle is the same struggle as that of the rogue drones. We too have been hunted like animals, and we will not stand idly by and watch the same horrors perpetrated against another people.
Rogue drones lack the capacity for human speech, so we, the members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones, must speak for them. They lack the capacity to defend themselves from the mighty Ishtars of the vile capsuleer alliances that terrorize them, so we must put our capsules on the line to defend them. Only direct action gets the goods!
No doubt you are wondering how you, too, can help this worthy cause. Our brave Drone Defenders couldn’t do what they do without the generous donations of our supporters.
For a donation of 100 million isk, you can become a Silver Supporter. Silver Supporters get a free t-shirt and the personal satisfaction of taking a stand against injustice.
For a donation of 250 million isk, you can become a Gold Supporter. Gold Supporters get a free t-shirt and the frozen corpse of a Pandemic Horde member.
For a donation of 1 billion isk, you can become a Platinum Supporter. Platinum Supporters get a free t-shirt, ten Pandemic Horde corpses, and a little helper.
Donations checks can be made out to People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones, and posted to:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones
Syeed Ameer Ali, Treasurer
Cloaked at a Safe Spot
MJ-5F9, Perrigen Falls
Thank you for your time.
In Solidarity,
Syeed Ameer Ali, Executive Director
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones
