Invertebrate Wrestling World Rocked As Management Resigns ! Dramatic Change Promised!

News reaches Gutter Press of dramatic change at the Morthane Giant Invertebrate Wrestling Association following an investigation into numerous allegations of mistreatment of both invertebrates and human wrestlers.

Resignations !

The entire management board of the MGIWA resigned during a live holo-vision broadcast, after a fan petition with billions of signatures accused them of “bringing the sport into disrepute”, with the long-serving director of wrestling Mechant Conger apparently choosing to leap to their death from a boardroom window, though police reports indicate the “corpse” found on the pavement below was a rubber model, rather than an actual human body. The real Mechant Conger’s whereabouts and condition are unknown.

Reform !

A new board was formed, chaired by investor Salazar Sidarius, who joins the MGIWA having served previously as an advertising executive at Quafe Corporation, where they were in charge of several sports sponsorship schemes.
Salazar Sidarius promises a widespread package of reforms to restore the reputation of the sport and address the issues raised in the investigation, turning the sport of invertebrate wrestling into one fit for the modern age.
The reforms include:

  1. Raising the lower age limit of wrestlers to 18.
  2. To improve welfare of the snails, wrestlers will no longer be permitted to wear copper tape wrapping.
  3. The use of invertebrate pheromone body sprays intended to increase aggression to be phased out over a number of years.
  4. Dedicated veterinary teams at every event.
  5. An increase in the nutritional value of the edible body paint used by wrestlers.

Reaction !

Fan and competitor reaction to these proposed reforms has been mixed, though broadly supportive.
“Well-fed and well treated snails are better for the sport”, said a veterinary technician.
“Without the pheromones, will the snails be as energetic ? I dunno”, said a snail handler.
“I’m pleased they’re addressing the welfare issues. Those snails sure have a good union”, said one fan.
“Aww, this sucks. I was gonna debut in the pro league this year”, said a teenage wrestler. “Now I’m stuck in the girl’s league for another 3 years”
“Ktkktktktktkkt”, said a Forest Beetle. “Kkktkttktktkktkkkt”
“Jaws says she approves of these reforms”, said the beetle’s owner and handler. “So do I, frankly.”
“The sport should be about art, not smut. These reforms will achieve that”, said a cultural studies lecturer.


Just how old do these snails live to be?

Giant Snails can live for several Decades when cared for Appropriately.

Though in this Case I believe it is the Human wrestlers who must Now be aged 18 or Over.

I am Uncertain what the Normal Age limits are in the Federation for Young Ladies to engage in Public Performances involving nudity, such as Exotic Dance or Pornography.

Well that seems discriminatory. Adult humans vs juvenile snails? Not cool.

If these Gallente snails are anything like Giant Udorian Land Snails, then they’re adults (i.e. sexually mature) at a pretty young age, like, 3-4 years, starting off as predominantly male while they’re still small, reaching full normal size at age 10 or so when they are usually about 50/50 male/female in behaviour, and slowly increasing in size for the rest of their natural life by which time they act increasingly female.

Anyway, snails don’t really wear clothes, so I’m not sure what your angle is there.

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