Off-Topic Thread vol. 2

Fiction Portal Intergalactic Summit
42

So, cakes.

I have been asked to provide the recipe for the cheesecakey thing I mentioned earlier.

So, you need biscuits, butter, sweetened condensed milk, double cream, and some lemons. That’s the ultra-basic ingredients. You can add other bits if you want, but you’ll face the wrath of people who’ll call you an ultra-hedonist or something. Because actually enjoying your food is sinful or something.

You can get biscuits of any kind really, the best are ones that are somewhat hard and crunchy. If you have a nearby bakers, you can probably ask them for any broken or unsellable biscuits, they’ll be glad to give you them, as it saves them disposing of them.

So, you get the biscuits, and you smush them up into tiny tiny pieces. You can do this in a bag. This is part of what makes it fun for children.
Then you get the butter, and melt it, and then add the biscuit crumbs to it, and mix it all up, so all the biscuit crumbs are coated in butter.
Then you take that mix, and spoon it out into your cake or pie tins, and squish it down so it’s quite compact. This is also fun for children.
Then you put the cake tins into a fridge, to chill them. The butter will resolidify and glue all the biscuit bits together. Science!
That’s your base for the cake. You need to leave them long enough to get them to set.

Now you get the double cream, and the condensed milk, and you whisk them together in a bowl until they’re all thoroughly mixed.
Then you take the lemons, and juice them. You can also add lemon zest if you really want. But it’s the lemon juice that is the important bit. Because that makes the mixture set.
You add the lemon juice to the mix. And the zest if you’re so inclined. And then whisk them all up until it’s all mixed in.

Then you get the cake tins with the bases back out the fridge, and then apply the mixture to them, laying it on as thick as you like. This is another bit that is fun for children.

Then you stick the cake tins back in the fridge for a couple hours until they set nice and firm.

So there you have it, a quick, easy, cheesecakey thing.

Approximate Quantities:
250g of biscuit material
75g of butter

400g sweetened condensed milk
150g double cream
4 lemons

You can experiment with quantities. And you can add things like small pieces of fruit. Or grated chocolate flakes, or other stuff.

3 Likes
43

Please, rename this thread in “Federation recipes”

44

If you don’t like the subject, you’re free to change it. That’s the beauty of off-topic threads.

1 Like
45

But it’s not a federation recipe.

46

Weird. Luxury food like that is commonly seen around the federation territory…

47

We have cheesecakes in Amarr as well. The Federation doesn’t have a monopoly on dairy and grain based desserts!

4 Likes
48

These greedy hypocrites try to lay their hands on everything.

49

Uhm, ok then. But it’s not so common like the Gallente one.

50

Excuse you. You are an earthologist and you know nothing about Amarr cheesecake.

Honestly, if you imagine that luxury food is somehow a thing that the Federation does more, or better, than the Empire? You need to visit better restaurants.

4 Likes
51

This being is not an earthologist but he also had in consideration similar hypothesis.

Try to go in a various and heterogeneous worlds like the Gallente Federation and you will see that the cheesecake is not only Amarr.

52

Nobody’s saying only Amarr have cheesecake. Just that we have a certain style of cheesecake.

53

Actually, what I was saying was that simply because someone posted a cheesecake recipe does not make the topic all about Federation foods, since the Federation isn’t the only place that has cheesecake. That was my only argument.

54

Ok then… But that recipe seemed also Gallentean…

55

Because only Gallenteans invented biscuits, dairy products, or lemons.

56

Find me a Khanid who would not, given the opportunity, live on cheese and meat. I dare you. And then yes, go rot off anyway because there are a lot of us and some of us don’t even eat cheese at all. Imagine. BUT!

…have you had Khanid cheesecake?

Go have Khanid cheesecake. No biscuits in the crust, it is just the edge of the cheese becoming crisp. A little sugar, yes. And the oil lifts up to the surface so you can put that on something, or put it in your coffee. It is what milk wants to be. <3

1 Like
57

Get out. OUT.

Just one more reason Khanid Kingdom needs to burn apparently.

58

Shut up. Cheese doesn’t need baby biscuits on it.

59

In three generations, someone will ask their kin, Auntie, how did the Wars start? Why did the Khanid send the Blooders after us? And they will say, let me tell you the story of my Grandmother Tein and the Khanid cheesecake…

7 Likes
60

Are you expecting me to breed? This is most concerning. But other than that, I like the cut of your jib.

61

Not only that…