For those interested solely in the WH information, please scroll a bit down and I provide everything you need to know.
Love at First Fight:
Seven years and one day ago, I was hired to obtain several Talocan Hulls from Sleeper Relic Sites in a wormhole. As an archaeologist by trade, I was thrilled to have a paying gig and eagerly set off. I had been to numerous remote locations throughout my career and figured how a wormhole couldn’t have been much different.
Upon arrival in the hole, I immediately broadcasted a warm and heartfelt “o7 Everyone!” in the local communications channel. Considering no one responded, I naturally assumed I was completely alone inside of that strange world. After the transmission completed from my comms, I was momentarily stuck with a sudden sense of despair, of helplessness. It made no sense to me in the moment and I couldn’t comprehend the emotion or understand it. Years later upon reflection I realized that moment was the first time in all of my life I had been in an area dozens of light years across completely alone… or was I?
I shrugged the shivers of solitude off and immediately steadied my bearings. I had a job to complete and I was not going to let my employer down. I scanned down the Relic Site with my Sister’s Core Probes (ironically lent to me from my brother… I have no sisters), and entered the coordinates into my nav panel. Suddenly, as my Buzzard was aligning to the location and my warp drive heating up, my local blew up with multiple fragmented messages:
- Somebody anybody!
- Help me please
- I ne
- I ne
- I need HELP!
I hit abort on the warp, clutched my chair and closed my eyes as the shutdown sequence threw my body through a world g-force pain and hurt. Grasping for air and confused as to how my lungs could feel as though they had collapsed, I struggled to use any of my senses. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see, hell I couldn’t feel anything which resembled my own existence. My vision was the first thing to come back and when I opened my eyes, there on my comm panel was Autumn. Seeing her remarkable face, her long luscious hair redder than the Dodixie Sun itself and those stunning blue eyes which would have any man jump one hundred gates in null-sec to see in person… seeing this surely made me believe I was in fact dead. That I was in Heaven already and Autumn was reward for leading a good life.
The local comms continued and my senses started to ground themselves.
- What are you doing? I need your help!
- Please help me!
- I need you to warp to the third planet, second moon from the center of this hole
- I’m stuck here
- I’m lost
- I’m scared. Please help me, please
I knew I was alive now and I knew this angel needed my help. I didn’t know of her personality or her character, but I knew she was in despair. This was my chance to do something meaningful with my life beyond digging up or locating artifacts and relics of those who came before me.
I warped over to Autumn’s exact location and yet again, was completely taken off guard with how my ship decided to come to a screeching halt upon deactivation of it’s warp drive. I didn’t hit the abort this time like I had when Autumn first reached out over the comms, no, my Buzzard was forced to come to a halt as I came within ten kilometers of Autumn’s ship. The Buzzard’s interior immediately shut down, every light flickered and faded away inside of the cockpit and I was left with the blinding light through my windshield of two Webifiers engulfing my my ship.
I could barely make out their origin, and it really appeared as though they were coming from Autumn’s ship. This clearly could not be and didn’t make sense. If she was stranded and needed my help, why would she web me and send a boatload of additional ECM my way? This thought quickly evaporated, along with my hopes of being a Knight in Shining Armor when Autumn launched her first barrage of Caldari Navy Inferno Heavy Assault Missiles my way.
Upon impact my shields and armor were completely broken through. My hull screamed incessantly with numerous warning and failure notices. With the tables turned, I was now the one who was helpless, who needed saving. I had no options and I had no time to think. I grabbed my comms and I said something to Autumn… and the missiles stopped.
Now, you will have to ask her what exactly I said. She is a much better storyteller than I and she takes pride in retelling that portion or our history, however, I can say that when the missiles stopped and I was left stunned, panicked and fearing my life, Autumn came back to the comms:
- You made me laugh and nobody has been able to make laugh in a long, long, long time.
- Tell me a joke, and if I laugh again, I’ll bring you to safety and repair the damage I caused.
My mind was racing and processing billions of thoughts a second, none of which, unfortunately was anything funny. I knew I needed to be quick, that I needed to respond and it had to be good, my life depended on it. Thoughts of dying though do not typically generate the utmost hilarity in comedy and when Autumn started the countdown from ten, I blurted out the following before she could hit zero:
- Me: Did you hear that joke about paper?
- Autumn: Uhm, no…
- Me: Ok good. because I heard it was “tear”-able… … … … … … …
A Terrible Decision:
The time has sped by faster than a blockade runner through a gatecamp over the seven years. Autumn and I have explored each corner of the universe together, always at each others side. For whatever reason she love my humor and attention I drape her with. It may not be for everyone, but it works for her and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Our exploration and adventures have been slowing down of recent. With the births of our children, time simply has not been available for us to carelessly play throughout the systems of EVE like we once used to. As our children have grown and become more responsible, I felt it was time to let them spend the weekend at their friends while Autumn and I take a vacation together alone. I spend several weeks thinking and researching and planning up all sorts of destinations and events we could go to or attend, but none of them felt completely right to me.
Finally, I realized that I had never completed my job seven years ago when I first met my beautiful bride and what better way to celebrate our seven wonderful years of romance together than to head back to J101535 and finish it up. Sure, my employer was long since passed. Not shortly after that incident seven years prior he was caught moving Slaves and Protein Delicacies through Gallente Federation space. He refused to surrender his contraband and well, let’s just say that the Gallente Federation didn’t offer him a chance to tell a joke.
Still though, I figured we could go back together, tour the eleven majestic planets inside of J101535, settle down near the incredible Pulsar Star in the center of it, make love and then bring back our relics as a keepsake.
Autumn loved the idea and told me no other vacation spot would ever compare. Her excitement was overwhelming and being there was all she could think about. So, after we toured the planets, had our sexy escapade just a few hundred kilometers from the Pulsar, and headed to the relic site to recover our keepsake, it wasn’t much of a surprise to me to find out she had forgotten my Relic Analyzer II at home.
She offered to go back and get it, but instead I brought her to J101535 Planet IX, a temperate planet filled luscious green forests and water so clear you can see to the bottom of the oceans. I told her to relax, to enjoy herself and take sometime to soak up the beauty of our secret getaway, that I would make the trek back home. It would only be an hour and a half round-trip and she promised me it would be well worth my time when I got back.
The journey to and from was simple. All the wormhole connections still intact, still stable, still right where they should be. My wife, however, was not where she was supposed to be.
When I warped into the atmosphere of J101535 Planet IX, things where much different. While previously pristine and unobstructed views of the planet’s natural splendor where visible from hundreds of kilometers away, those views were now clustered with sleeper ships of all shapes and sizes. The leader of this sleeper cell sent the following over comms:
- We have the woman you call Autumn.
- You have one chance to save her.
- Turn over 1 Billion ISK to us for her life.
Immediately I tried to outwit them, to trick them to turning Autumn back over to me. I told them I didn’t have the funds one me, that no capsuleer carries that much ISK with them. That we keep our funds in the First National Bank of Eve and access requires dual optical verification from both Autumn and I. Their leader did not seem to care and also did not seem to have patience.
- We grant you the opportunity to leave, but Autumn is staying with us.
- You have once chance to get the funds.
- If you come back without the funds, she will die.
- If you come back with any type of force, she will die.
- Leave now and come back with 1 Billion ISK
There was nothing further I could say. Nothing I could do. Autumn and I live a life of love, of passion, of friendship and of family. We most certainly do not live a life of luxury or wealth. A billion ISK is pretty much unfathomable to us and until now, that sum never served neither of any purpose.
That is… … … …
Ladies and gentlemen, capsuleers, pilots and explorers, I, no, WE, implore you to consider obtaining the location of our secret wormhole getaway. A paradise where love, hope, excitement, danger and intrigue may all be found. I CANNOT return empty ended to those vicious sleepers. For just one billion ISK, I will bring you into J101535 and you can keep the whole thing to yourself, as long a I am able to save my love, my wife, my… my Autumn.
J101535 Wormhole Information
C4 Pulsar Wormhole With C3 & C2 Statics
11 Plantets: 6x Barren, 1x Plasma, 1x Lava, 1x Storm, 1x Temperate, 1x Gas
Empty hole except for a single engineering complex. Nothing else.
Shield Capacity +72%, Signature Radius +72%, NOS & Neut Drain Amount +72%
Armor Resists -36%, Capacitor Recharge Time -36%
Price: 1 Billion
If you have any questions please let me know. I will happily use a third party service if you prefer. Contract me here or ING: Hoodjack Saken.