I would actually recommend you give some thought to this. Why exactly do many Matari - myself included - perceive you as condescending and react strongly to it? Why does it look like fear?
Pro-tip: for a lot of clan-Matari, people are not just themselves. Individuals who exist in isolation, without affiliations, are not considered just unlucky people, they are considered lacking something essential that makes them people in the first place. “Following your own heart” is not good advice; it is unhealthy indulgence or even insanity. You don’t just have associations, you are your associations, they are what make you you.