The Price of Immortality

I’ve been ‘immortal’ now for quite some time. I celebrated my 100th birthday years back, and baring some freak, statically-improbable accident will live to see my 1000th.

But I have to ask myself: why keep going? The gods know that I’ve no problem mucking about with the human genome; it’s not any sort of grand design that causes me doubt. (E.G., ‘Humans are not supposed to live forever.’ So what?)

I wonder at what point have we seen enough, done enough that things should end. If all good things must come to an end, does that mean anything unending is not good?

If this cluster, this existence can even be called good. Look around at the misery. Yes, even in the Federation, the peak of human civilization. The Amarr are so miserable that they created a whole god and afterlife just to deal with this current life. The Caldari and the Minmatar have their spirits. Why would we subject ourselves to this misery forever? I’m a masochist, but that’s a bit much.

(Though, to be fair, if there is an afterlife, it’s probably better than this one.)

Other capsuleers have gone before. Cancelled their clone contracts and biomassed. Or just left. They’ve faded into the universe without connecting to their neocom ever again. Those are the ones I envy. Those are the ones who are fortunate.

I’m not a cat; I’m a rodent running on a wheel. And I’m wondering why I keep running.

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Because there is so much to see and to try out. Furthermore, every year we get new wonders in the EVE universe.

““If””

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We keep going on because of the moment that makes everything special, be it the sparkle in a babies eyes then she sees the stars for the first time, the laughter from a loved one or the pad on the back from friend after you both avoided dead (even though you know dead wouldn’t be the end). Those moments are what stand out, and makes us go on, cause as you said what else would there be to life if everything were just the same.

We all knew the price we payed when we first locked the capsule and saw the world though different eyes. Sometimes we just have to stop and forget that even though we can be the massive machines of war, we are still human.

Hello Again Ameriya.

I am Sorry you are feeling this Way again. Do you need Someone to Talk To ?

Considering the moral implications, capsuleer technology is truly horrifying.

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Mr. Moussou makes an interesting point. Many theologians within the Empire feel that ‘we’ have traded one probable eternity for another. But in doing so, we hazard our soul. I wonder if that is why so many of ‘us’ last such a short time, or fall into madness. I am the plain sort, and I have no pretensions related to this technological immortality—a humble trader and nothing more. I strive to remain human in body and mind. I keep my clones age-appropriate, though old lovers miss the marks of time. A scar from a mishap picking Uellarion blossoms, a burn from a campfire ember, a mark of passion, gone.

Technology itself isn’t a bad thing, but the misuse of technology can bring about great evil. Capsuleer technology is fundamentally a willing dehumanization of one’s self in order to flee from the inevitability of death.

I lost my birth body in an asteroid belt somewhere in the eastern reaches of the Caldari State, back when stargates and stations caused too much interference to warp closer than 15 kilometres. Trust me, when you’re in an industrial moving less than two hundred metres a second, those scant few clicks could feel like an eternity.

And I suppose for the oldest iteration of me, it literally was. He’ll never get that load of Omber home.

I can’t remember exactly how many times I’ve died since then. It’s weird to say that out loud - you think I’d remember, right? I remember the first, but the second? Couldn’t tell you. Has it been more than a hundred? I genuinely have no idea. Surely it can’t be two hundred - I’m not a great pilot, but surely I’m not that careless.

It’s only been fifteen years since I became a capsuleer. For someone with all the time in the world on his hands, that should be infinitesimal, but the world I see before me doesn’t even remotely resemble the world I graduated into. Sometime back 13 years or so ago, we moved into those new nullsec regions when they opened up, and I got my first taste of living out of a starbase. God it was foul. Upwell structures are so much better.

I remember the time I had to flee nullsec because I’d pissed off the head of SMASH Alliance, and he’d bribed one of the CEOs to fire me and put a price on my head. Fortunately, a bunch of my old corpies were furious and helped me escape before the kill order went live. I went back to Gallente space and formed Mixed Metaphor.

I remember the start of the Empyrean Wars. I remember trying to square off with TSF, and taking heavy losses. I remember when Revan Neferis hired Trinity Nova and Noir immediately afterwards, trying to land the final killshot on my corporation, but instead we turned it around on them so hard that they had to refund her payment - and I told them “nah, keep it, you bled for that bitch just like she paid you to.”

I remember spitting in Damar Rocarion’s face. Ah, good times, good times.

I remember Deklein, and Circle of Two. I don’t think those two memories are related, but everything blends together.

I remember the wormholes opening.

I remember the Shiigeru’s warp core going critical, and time lurching to a halt.

Everything is so much, all the time.

I’m so tired.

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To think that we escape death through becoming a capsuleer is a self delusion of the grandest scale. There is no escaping it, one way or another. All things end. Including us.

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But there can be so much fun in barely missing it.

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Curious how someone from the peak of human civilization is the first to talk about ending their participation in it, while the Faith shows us all the beauty in this world. I’d be glad to praise His name for a thousand years to come and enjoy the gifts He bestowed upon me.

Wherever I see misery, is where His light is not allowed to shine. The people who are miserable, are those who have not let Him into their hearts. God loves everyone, but He cannot help those who ill wish for it.

Funny, wherever I see misery, parasites like you can always be found, looking to spread your poisonous lies.

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It used to bother me but these days I act out my anxiety through really bad tattoos.

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In one way or another I think this capsuleer life might be afterlife. Since I am a capsuleer (only 5 years) I keep having these dreams about another life, thousands of years ago, on a planet called dirth or earth or something like that. I mean… No scientificaly relevant stuff, but these dreams, they freak me out sometimes. Someone has experience with this stuff? Maybe I should find some mental advice or find a suitable booster to stop those idiotic thoughts?

Oh boy is THAT ever a mood

And given that I have functionally infinite bodies to waste…

As immortals we have a responsibility to the stars to herald the mistakes of the past that mortals forget far to easily and to guide them to a brighter future.

It stands to reason that preaching to the choir is pointless, and spreading the good word is most effective there where there is misery to help people out of.

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FTFY.

Not this earthology creep again. I swear it filters in through to the subconscious like an earworm. One moment you’re on a shuttle from customs to the domicile, the next your head hits the pillow and it’s dreams of the progenitors’ elysium.

You are right about capsuleers, though. Immortal is a misnomer. We are the undead.