The true magic of EVE

CCP called the Vizeers, Grand Wizards, High Druids, Sufi mystics, Dark Lords of Black Magic, and others too hidden to name. They convened and combined their magicks and conjuring for the greatest arcane transmutation in the history of the known Universes. They raised their Staffs of Power, their Orbs of Magnificent Penetration, their Amulets of Destruction, their Rings of the Obscene. After days of incantations, chanting and imploring the Gods, Goddesses, and Vile Demons of Dark Matter to assist them in their terrible undertaking, a blinding flash of a thousand bolts of lightning tore the skies, a shimmering of the very fabric of creation thereupon ensued, followed by a deafening clap of thunder that caused many to lose consciousness and collapse, others to bleed from their ears and cower at the Great Rivening.

Suddenly, all the ore and asteroids of EVE had changed their mineral content, billions vanished from one part of EVE to another, and a new reality was born. CCP thanked the minions of magick and sent them on their way. “We could have done this simply by changing the re-spawn rate of asteroid belts but that was too much work and we wanted to just be done with it” CCP journalist Borked Bjorn noted. “The players be damned, we decided to sell this as a major correction to our previous stupidity in letting too many mega-corps get so rich they controlled the economy. Yeah, the average player gets the shaft and is caught up in all this, but, eh, collateral damage, no? Let’s blow this fake game and go have a beer…”


Nothing to see here.


Well, technically it is a wine thread. But I found his writing to be entertaining, so he gets a pass from me.



P.S. It’s whine, not wine.

Mr Epeen :sunglasses:

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Good sir, your humble servant beseeches your grace to bestow thine possessions upon mine unworthy self anon.




Damn nice.

inb4 you are granted possession of his wizard hat :scream:

Whatever you see in that circus isnt magic. :clown_face:

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Absolutely right: the former is depressing, the latter is a depressant.
So saying the wine does dull the whine nicely.

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