I try to laugh about it and I’m being a cheeky melancholic baby. Actually, @Lasairiona_Raske, I’ve been like that for a couple of years now. I’m not playing victim, I actually feel like I was a victim of sorts. And still continue to be, it seems, if only a victim of misunderstanding.
I did not “threaten” to punch you. I informed you that I almost took a swing at you. And don’t flatter me, we both know how that would have ended, so I actually threatened to hurt myself, if anyone.
@Aria_Jenneth You didn’t understand a lot of what I was feeling that night. Not even after I told you that I was not upset about Garion. I admit I was angry at times that night. At you. At myself. At my suit. At Lasa. But not when I wanted to say goodbye to you. If Lasa had not stopped me, everything would have been much better. How any of my friends could think I would unleash any anger by being violent against Garion, the only friend I seemed to have that night…it’s beyond my understanding for the moment, it feels so surreal.
My joke was not intended to restore confidence. It was an attempt to make humor of the situation, not the people involved. But I guess it works better for people who were not personally involved; an outsider joke. Because it makes no sense without context (or maybe it does). But I’m probably going too meta now for non-Gallente.
I don’t really know how to restore confidence right now. I’m barely beginning to understand how I lost it, so much, so fast. It hurts.
…The way you looked at me…
Also, Lasa, Aria, I should not have posted the joke, as I did not want to start the discussion here. But can we stop it now? Please? At least until we’ve talked?