A sprinkle of Shutaq

…was by far the most important ingredient for this epic saga of my life. It was but simple post(s) on the Intergalactic Summit that lit the fire in my heart. None could resist such facial hair, not even I, and it was obvious the feeling was mutual."
- Extract from the book, Memoirs: Julian of New Eden™

I’m sure many of you have been wondering what I have been doing recently. Well on my lookout for the next love triangle to ignite the fires of passion, I have found myself falling [in love] for someone myself. We have kept our little affair quiet for some time now but this deception is breaking my heart!

@Aldrith_Shutaq We have to declare to the cluster what we have together!

[A video feed is embedded in the post: The video displays a campsite at night with evergreen trees in the distance. From behind a crackling fire is a nude Julian Flavours with an acoustic guitar resting on his crossed legs. He begins to play and sing;

“Can you feel the love tonight. The peace the evening bring. The world for once in perfect harmony. With all its living things…” The feed cuts as he begins to stands up]

As natural as they come,

Julian Shutaq
CEO and creator of JFT

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It’s about time this was announced.

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Oh my.

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You made me lose my ■■■■ completely in the middle of an urban warzone, for a good ten minutes. There were medical professionals involved. Then I showed this to them and it spread. Contagiously.

There are reliable reports that it is currently working its way through a couple of enemy strongpoints with much the same result.

Congratulations, you’ve shitposted so hard it crippled the primary combatants on both sides of a particular conflict for several minutes. Let’s hope it reaches the actual military forces of New Eden as well, for a cluster-wide ripple of a couple of hilarity-filled minutes of no violence.

Aldieboo, you’ve a couple of times mentioned you want peace in New Eden, well here you go. The closest you’ve ever been to achieving it. Your path is clearly marked, if peace is what you truly seek. Go knock up that Julian boy, for New Eden.

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Nothing is more powerful than the power of Love.

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I… was not expecting this today.

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O-Oh.

How n-nice…?

Aha…

…Data purge initialized…

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You can’t stop the signal.
The info will flow.
A Federation founded on transparency.
Won’t let such particulars go.

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Resistance against the freedom of information is futile. The Information can and will exercise its freedom to reach you, regardless of its veracity and substance.

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Considering it’s a well known fact that Lord Shutaq is actually married, we can guaranteedly call him “-haan”.

But does this mean that we shall from now on refer to you as Ms. Flavours?

I guess ladies with moustache is a geallentean thing…

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I know and understand that many may be shocked by this revelation, but this is the truth of the matter, we are deeply deeply in love. No amount of propaganda can be publish to drive a wedge between my beloved Aldy and I.

Forever in your heart, and you in mine.

Julian Shutaq
CEO and creator of JFT

p.s. @Aldrith_Shutaq why haven’t you returned my calls?

About as in love as some of my clients claim to be with me Mr. Flavours, I’m sure, which is to say… a mite obsessed, infatuated, and plausibly addicted to my skills and biochemistry, but not, in fact, in love.

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Believe what you will harlot, but some of us have standards. Some like the authenticity of real emotions and real connections.1. None of your deluded bio-whats-its and plastics.

The numbers you’ve racked up in your career2. , I doubt you’d even know what love is, even it it slap you in the face.

Go back to your robot Oveg and his cronies.
1. TRUE LOVE
2. questionable if it’s that?!

Mr. Flavours, I see you’ve chosen violence.

Let’s address your points shall we?

I’m sure you’re well aware of various aspects of my anatomy, so let’s address that first! With the exception of my cybernetics, everything I have on my usual clones is, in-fact, near identical to that which I was born with. Yes, including THAT. As well as the biochemistry inherent to its function. Thank you for that insight into that which you truly have very little idea about little child.

Now, your second point, my career! Thank you for inquiring~ Now, where to start where to start… Let’s see, February will mark my one-hundred and eighty-sixth standard cycle, and have been actively plying my trade since my twentieth cycle. That includes the entire breadth of my trade, I may add. Being companionship(including but not limited to social, emotional, physical, and sexual satisfaction), holoreel acting(explicit and otherwise), and modeling(similarly explicit and otherwise). I would quite well describe it as quite the career, starting on my homeworld and come all the way to where I am now!

So… Mr. Flavours… if I may, what are your… qualifications again?

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I epitomise pacifism, never even hurt a fly, eat only organic vegan vetted meals and even have a compost bin. If I go missing the people of the IGS will know whose door to knock down!

But darling I am fully aware and my critiques were as intended of which you have given me examples.

Okay dust-bucket Boomer. Just because you’ve been around and I mean around, doesn’t mean you know what true Love is.

But regardless of all this qualification swinging, I would ask if you do not wish to contribute in congratulating my Aldy and I in our declaration, then kindly and all the spice I can muster, ■■■■ off. If you can’t then I might have to speed dial a certain bald commander and tell him exactly what’s going on over in Eugales.

100% original,

Julian Shutaq
CEO and creator of JFT

Aren’t amarrians allowed to not do these kind of relations?

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Depends on what you mean by that.

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Oh? And what exactly is going on in Eugales dear? Colonial development, archaeological work, advanced fighter technology and cloning research, and also of course the central operation point of my primary Services and career… not everything of course but an overview. now, what was that you were saying about what’s really going on?

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Mr Lafisques - Amarrians are allowed to have same-sex relations. It is not a problem. I am married to a woman, as are many others that I know, married to those of their own gender. The Amarr Empire is quite neutral on the topic of partnerships.

I’m also sensing a lot of… feelings… between you and Julian, Laura. You know who else has a lot of feelings? People who beat their significant others to death with a MindClash trophy. Shall I send one over to you?

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Ah, that would be convenient. Otherwise I might have used one of my battlesport trophies to beat some sense into this youngin’

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