[AUCTION] Slaver for sale: Orlon Zashev

(Sesli Ashok) #1

All right, here’s the deal. Me and my crew have got Orlon Zashev. How we got him, you don’t need to know but he got careless and we grabbed him.

You know what’s funny? Turns out Orlon doesn’t have all that much in the way of liquid assets. Us Seykal headhunters sometimes just sell the catch back to themselves but he’s got nothing we want. The rube offered us some slaves and slaver hounds he’s got stashed away and so on. Can you believe that? Well, we don’t go in for the slavery racket ourselves so that’s no good.

Another thing, we thought to ourselves, what about the bounty? The Justice have this nark on their wanted list right? Yeah well, they do but I mean, the bounty’s not all that, you know? Only half a bill, that’s a bit low. Guess he’s not in the same class as people like Akkaga and Stormare.

So we thought, why not put the guy up for auction? This is how it will go, old school speciality slaver rules: public participation, sealed bid, highest price wins. Seemed appropriate.

Bidders make themselves known on this thread. They send their bid to me by mail. Do not make your bid public, girls and boys! If you do, you’re out.

Bidders can make an adjusted bid, if they like, once and once only. Adjustment upwards only. Highest price wins.

My crew are holding onto Orlon. Don’t bother with the locator agent nonsense, we’re holding him in SUR-F7 in a secure location. You won’t find it.

Oh, you want proof of life, I suppose? That’ll follow this post. Then I’ll open the bidding and give you reserve price and deadline for bids.

Look forward to doing business with one of you,

Sesli

4 Likes
Prize pool for capture of RJD wanted criminals
Prize pool for capture of RJD wanted criminals
New Eden Heute - Weltnachrichten
(Makoto Priano) #2

@Elsebeth_Rhiannon, I think you have someone calling for you.

2 Likes
(Orlon Zashev) #3

It’s true, Sesli Ashok and her headhunter crew have me.

They want me to encourage buyers. So here’s some encouragement, I’ll sing like a Dam-Torsad nightingale if the right people don’t get their bid in.

Orlon

2 Likes
(Elsebeth Rhiannon) #4

Indeed, thanks for the ping.

This prize pool will be paid out to whomever can get a confirmed delivery to RJD of Orlon Zashev. I encourage any and all loyal Minmatar capsuleers to donate.

To stay inside the rules of the competition, I will NOT reveal further updates on the size of the pool, but will inform the original poster of the final offer.

4 Likes
(Mizhir) #5

Excellent work. I hope the payment is well worth the effort you guys put into this.

Your ancestors must be proud.

Edit: My only regret is that I didn’t get my hands on him first, but my forces are occupied these days.

2 Likes
(Valerie Valate) #6

Does he have any boils on his skin ?

Also, for a moment, I thought it was Kalaralatiri from the portrait.

1 Like
(Sesli Ashok) #7

So there you go, we got him. You want him, you pay us.

Rules to remind people.

Public participation: post you are a bidder in this thread.

Sealed bids: bids mailed to me, no public notice of the bid or you’re out of the running.

One-time bid adjustment: you can adjust bids upwards only one time.

Highest price wins: pretty obvious, no?

Reserve price: 2bn ISK

Bids close: this coming Monday 6th, 23:59 - New Eden Standard.

Have fun and don’t be cheap,

Sesli

PS. Extra clarification on rules:

Bid increments are to be 10% of the reserve price, that’s 200,000,000 ISK increments. Lower increments will be ignored for all purposes.

Bids are in ISK only please: threats, blandishments, promises and barter offers will be ignored.

No need for deposits. Reserve price is the minimum, that’s all. Deposits won’t be refunded so be careful!

A draw in the bidding will be resolved by bid priority.

Winning bid to be announced shortly after deadline and arrangements will be made by private comms for transfer etc. etc.

1 Like
(Constantin Baracca) #8

And a new battlefield opens…

(Kithrus) #9

Indeed

(Constantin Baracca) #10

Normally, these battles come down to who has the most petty cash, but not usually this directly!

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(Mizhir) #11

For the winner(s) of the auction: I can make him sing this regardless of You being the right people or not. And I will offer said service for free.

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(Evi Polevhia) #12

Two billion? I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire.

Good luck with the auction.

1 Like
(Kithrus) #13

After consulting with my people and accountants I, Kithrus Avrose Crases will be bidding.

Good luck bidders.
Walk with God

1 Like
(Aldrith Shutaq) #14

And who are the “right people” in this case?

(Nauplius) #15

I, Nauplius —

  • Being the de facto owner of a corporation whose name translates as “The Slavers.”
  • Believing Slaver to be an unfairly maligned profession generally.
  • Knowing the Minmatar to be filthy subhumans who would lie about everything, especially in their accusations against Slavers.
  • Wishing to deny the Minmatar any propaganda value they might gain from confessions from Zashev produced under torture.

do hereby announce my intention to bid for Orion Zashev.

1 Like
(Hetu Hegirin) #16

I intend to bid.

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(Valerie Valate) #17

Reserve of 2Bn isk.

Republic Justice department bounty is 0.5Bn.

Elsebeth Rhiannon’s prize pool dingus is 1Bn iirc.

So, you’d be looking at a loss, unless whatever Orlon has to say is worth anything.

(Deitra Vess) #18

I, Deitra Vess -

  • Having a few bil in liquid assets I’m not too worried about parting with
  • Preferring to deny those who would not see him brought to justice defeated
  • In the name of justice for the Matari people, but as the leader of an independent security contractor, not exactly governed by our laws
  • In the name of… providing my own justice… before passing it off to the proper authorities
  • List item (I just want one more bullet point than Nauplius)

do hereby announce my intention to bid for Orion Zashev.

PS If I win I’ll make a list of people who are invited to take some justice out on someone who truly deserves it.

1 Like
(MantelGlobalIndustries) #19

In the event of a successful bid from a party that is aligned to the interests of the Republic Justice Department, I would make the request that the Federation Marshals Service be allowed access to Colonel Zashev for the purposes of gaining information on those that may have been abducted from the Federal and State border constellations by unlawful slaving operations that the Colonel may have been involved in.

I would also remind certain individuals that whilst it may seem like justice to inflict bodily harm upon the Colonel under the mandate as a private entity, it would serve a greater purpose to get him into the hands of authorities that will prosecute this man to the fullest extent of the law as well as securing information that will be of use in ongoing investigations into missing and confirmed abducted persons.

6 Likes
(Deitra Vess) #20

Ugh, your right… No “showing his guiding light” via low powered lasers to Orion’s Retina for me, besides I think Orion should see the faces of those who do the condemning.