Your EVE Online story
I first became aware of Eve Online around 2004 or so. I watched from the sidelines as goons rooted and grew, checked in now and then but never actually took a chance on the game because I have been bad at PvP since around 1993. Then in June 2018, while on Facebook I received an ad claiming there was now Solo PvE to be had in Eve Online. I installed the game, and a few of the other Eve goons hopped in my Twitch channel that never got off the ground and gave me pointers and whatnot. All in all the game was fun, and within a month I was in Goons proper and moved to Nullsec.
The War of 2018 had only been in progress for a month when I got there. I found out that I didn’t actually need to be good at PvP to take part in it. Grew to love gate camps and large fleet fights (it’s me, I’m the guy that doesn’t mind structure bashes) and while I started my Eve life as an entitled krab, by the time X47 rolled around I was well on my way to liking the fights as much as I did Abyssal content. The war ended and things went well, I had a minor skill injector addiction that saw me flying carriers shortly after the war was done. I swore to myself the next time we had a war, I’d be ready.
The Glassing of the North started in 2019 and I deployed with my capitals coming home when CCP introduced Nonconsensual PvE. That October I attended Eve Vegas and was introduced to something far more addictive than any PvP encounter in Eve. The community on all sides of the game coming together and sharing their lives without malice but friendship drove home the value that we all hold for each other. It also was when I realized that more than anything what I wanted out of my Eve life was to be part of the lasting memories we all share. In game, my role has been one of absolute insanity. Sometimes I get away with it. Sometimes 14 dudes in Darwin get to talk about the Megathron they found gating through Querious with skill extractors in the cargo. The point of all of this is I create memories. A different kind of content creator to be sure, but one none-the-less.
Your areas of expertise. In which areas of the game do you feel you are the most knowledgeable? What qualities set you apart from other candidates?
This is actually the least qualified part of this pitch you will see. I am an expert in fun. In knowing what it takes to have and create it. I have experienced Highsec dozens of times as I create alts for whatever purpose. I try out the NPE as it has evolved over the last couple years. I talk to the people in Rookie Chat. Try and get a feel for how the NPC corp I’m in is doing. I have been a large nullsec ice mining fleet multiboxer where I made most of my isk in my midlife. I’ve tried most of the PvE the game has to offer, and a lot of the styles of PvP. Am I an expert in any facet of Eve? Absolutely not. But I am an expert in knowing how to help people get more out of their Eve experience. I have an interest in all communities large and small and would really enjoy the opportunity to learn about the events that have shaped your Eve lives.
Why are you applying for the CSM?
I strongly believe I can make a difference. I am confident that the expectations of CCP has of the members of the CSM is well within my wheelhouse. I offer a different perspective in that I am focused on how things will impact the players. I work well with others and can communicate effectively on topics I have little or no direct knowledge of. I am not afraid to be wrong, or admit when it happens. Ultimately, my main goal is to work with the other members of the CSM to perform their function without trying to inject specific requests or stonewall opposition. The long term health of the game is my biggest concern. I would like to bring the same kind of real world bonding each of us shares with our groups to Iceland to bridge the gap between Player vs Developer and work together to make New Eden shine another 20 years or more.
What can players expect from you?
Players can expect me to be the same person I am now. I post on Reddit. I post a little on SA. I am engaged with the community. I love this game and will continue to do the same things I already do. Bring memorable times to the table. Add value to the lives of those around me through kindness and absurdity. Am I pro-Goon in game? Of course. In Iceland not so much. It can be expected I would speak up for what is right, even if it winds up killing my own playstyle. I am not what matters here, Eve is.
You are free to add more information and manage your campaign thread as you see fit, but the above four questions are the bare minimum required from everyone.
If you have read this far, I’d like to thank you. For taking the time to get an idea of who I am and why I am running. Most of all for being part of the broader community of Eve players that is concerned about the direction the game is heading, and trying to wrap your head around yet another unknown quantity that has the audacity to think he’d be good at this. That is why I will be using this section in the most Miracle on 34th Street way possible. Here is where I will mention things that are important to me to give you the chance to choose someone else.
There is a 100% chance you are 1 level of separation or less from having seen me in pictures. Literally millions of fans around the world know me.
I posted a thread on Reddit announcing my campaign for CSM16 while the campaigning for CSM15 was still going on. This thread has been a long time coming and I am grateful for the chance to finally begin the process.
I have not actually been in game very long. But, I have been a gamer since 1991 with experience in area design in MUDs and before that BBS games. I know how to break games and what kills fun. Don’t let my recent born on date fool you.
I am not ashamed of who I am. I am a living meme and own that completely. If you can’t take my words seriously because I posted a joke on the Internet in 2008, you should reassess your life choices. I should too. Nah.
Your style of play is valid even if I do not like how it affects me. The reverse is also true. My time becomes my isk. I do dumb things with it in ways that people remember. If you do not like how I make my isk or what I do with it that is OK. Bad memories last longer.
In Russia I am known by a name that outside of there is offensive. It is not a name I chose, nor is it one I can change. I should regret this more than I do.
Bonus Subsection Containing The Things I’d Claim I Was Going To Bring To CCP To Address
Stories in Eve are made by each and every one of us every day. Our in game lives can easily affect thousands of people. As the game approaches a time where most of the players are middle aged or older, it is time to start seriously considering doing more for the in game lives than The Graveyard. Our in game assets and pilots should not be left to stagnate if that isn’t our desire. We need a way to transfer through Wills the lives we’ve built in game so the stories don’t have to end. Some people only want to be remembered, and that is fine for them. Still others have a legacy that could continue to live on beyond their time on Earth to touch even more people and that should not be denied them.
Weeb skins. Yes, I am serious. You are literally leaving millions of dollars a year on the table by not adding these. Iterating on current skins or adding yet another shade of brown to an already brown hull isn’t going to make you the kind of money cat ears will. For every player that swears they will unsub I can assure you there will be many others that will make up that lost cash and proudly display their shame to everyone else on the fleet. This brings us to -
Add the ability to favorite a skin for a specific hull. If I assemble a ship in my hangar, it should automatically put a skin I choose on it. This small step could be the difference between being ganked by a bunch of destroyers - or a bunch of destroyer shaped maids.
Bring back Walking In Stations. This time let me buy furnishings for Plex. Let me have friends over and our avatars can sit around. Let me show off the clothing I’ve bought. Let me give you cash for a couch. Lamps. Pictures. Just all of it go full on The Sims with the options, we will buy them.
Stop making me buy capitals so I can have station containers in the ship hangar. If you already have the code for SMAs to handle holding fit ships, let me buy namable SMAs for a reasonable cost that I can use in the Ship Hangar to manage my ships.
Faction Jump Freighter. Remove the cargo hold and expand the fuel hold in exchange for a high slot that can only fit a Jump Portal Generator. This is not a joke, this is a real thing I want to be in the game. Dunk got to stump about the Primae, let me dream about my 40b lossmails OK.
In closing let me also say that I have no intention on kicking the door in, screaming listen to me and then dropping things like that Faction JF on them. That is not what the CSM is for. And it is not what I intend to use my time on the CSM doing.
Build bonds between the devs and players. Listen to and provide feedback. Advocate for making the game healthy for as many people as possible. Decline the shark. That’s my goals in a nutshell.
Help me meet those goals.