Diplomacy: Negotiations with SFRIM

Fiction Portal Intergalactic Summit
1

Recently, an acquaintance of mine, Coulter Phelps, has been named a Diplomat within the SFRIM organization. I have decided to take this opportunity to open up diplomacy with that corporation. I make the following demands of SFRIM:

  • Immediate cessation of all worship of the Molok the Deceiver.
  • All demonspawn children to be turned over to qualified demonologists in the employ of my corporation, Hoi Andrapodistai.
  • All SFRIM facilities to undergo demon banishing rituals under my supervision.
  • Any former slaves of Nauplius still the possession or employ of SFRIM to be turned over to me immediately.
  • Any Minmatar staff in the employ of SFRIM to be enslaved or sacrificed; any Minmatar pilots who are members of SFRIM to be expelled.
  • The corporation SFRIM itself is to be united to the True Faith by means of a public sacrifice of three Minmatar upon the Altar of God performed on behalf of the corporation by one or more of its officers.
  • Immediate cessation of all logistical aid to PIE corporation.
  • Restoration to Hoi Andropodistai of Citadels and fittings equivalent to those desecrated by SFRIM forces.
  • A public apology to Nauplius for all the crimes committed against him by SFRIM.

In return I offer to SFRIM: nothing.
Nothing that is, except the salvation of your immortal souls.

2

Did you dye your hair?

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3

I heard rumours it was a wig.

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4

Called it!

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5

Has dw gotten over the whole wine-in-your face fiasco?

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6

A better idea

-Nauplius agrees not to post anymore rubbish on IGS
-Nauplius agrees not to sacrifice slaves

In return we shall not test nanotechnological weapons on captured Covenant officers and work to negotiate a cease fire with SFRIM.

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7

What about crew and line members?

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8

Colt a diplomat? Wild ride.

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9

Dearest Nauplius,

N U T S !

Regards,

Coulter Phelps
Quartermaster
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque

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10

Have you seen the health of most of them?

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11

Was wondering the same thing!

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12

Well, it’s all good, just an unexpected career choice.

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13

A wannabe Blooder demanding the cessation of worship of the #1 Blooder T-shirt icon?

I’m a bit out of the loop in regards to this… colorful character. What is his problem? Attention craving? Some kind of you’re-not-my-real-spiritual-dad complex towards Omir Sarikusa? Attempt at being unique with a totally different heretical cult? Good ol’ fashioned schizophrenia?

It’s kind of fascinating to watch, in a “what the hell is wrong with you” kind of way. Puzzling, too.

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14

Naupliusism as an Interpretation of Scripture, runs Orthoganally to Almost All Known Interpretations of Scripture.

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15

Sorry, I laughed. Actually, I’m not sorry. This is silly.

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16

Not as silly as some walks.

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17

I’d like to establish diplomatic relations with her.

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18

What is nothing compared to the salvation of our immortal souls? What a great deal!

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19

Madam Phelps -

You seem to have interpreted my generous terms as a demand for unconditional surrender. They are not. Your Diplomacy skill requires additional ranks of training.

The Wrath of the God waxes strong against SFRIM. However, he is also a merciful God, and thus I extend again to you the terms of negotiation in my original post in the hopes that you might appease his Wrath by accepting them.

Even so, may the Blood Age come quickly. Amen. Amarr Victor.

20

Nauplius-

All of these demands are unreasonable. If I were in a position to make decisions like that for the corp you might get 1, 3 and 9. No more. That and you offer literally nothing in return.

There is one decision I can make, though.

Denied.

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