Eiliin Xer heading to the stars

Haha! Well, from some experience, it’s hard to keep one’s balance. It’s easiest if you can stay aloof, but the world has a way of entangling us and pulling us in until it’s hard to see through it all.

You might expect capsuleer life to be sort of distant and reserved in its perspective. We spend a lot of time wandering the infinite plugged into surrogate bodies the size of buildings, towns, or even cities, after all. In reality, though, we’re as caught up in our various passions as anyone else. Maybe more-so, since it’s pretty easy for us to wind up killing people. The void may be relatively empty of distractions, but our peers, not so much. Stuff gets intense.

Amid all the noise, buffeted about, it gets hard not to react strongly, to start caring more than is maybe wise. But get caught up and you’ll just join in the noise, too, become part of it all. Extracting yourself is way harder than getting in.

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Amen, sister…

Welcome! Every once in a while there’s a new capsuleer that oft wishes to shuttle around and see sights to behold. I think last time I recommended seeing the “stain” that gives the name Stain. It is a rather unique feature to visit, but one full of danger. As the region typically doesn’t like outsiders passing through.

Best of luck out there.

Well, I still remember, when I had to treat soldier of my unit for the first time as combat nurse.

He was hit by high-caliber round in his arm, losing it completly.
He was bleeding profusely, about to lose consciousnes (and probably die) in any moment.
I had to cauterize his wound, hoping to stabilize him before he dies from blood loss or shock (or both).

I remember his blood on my hands. I remember him screaming in shock, and then suddenly falling silent, just staring at his stump with shock.

I saved him - still don’t know to this day, how I managed to do it…
But I still remember this event, and it haunts me to this day…

And now?

I just returned from mission given by my agent.
I blasted multiple Serpentis pirate ships out of sky, each crewed by many living, breathing people. I can’t even remember number of crew, those ships have now.

This may be daily routine, for us capsuleersd, done many times per day.
All those lives lost, all those hulls to be replaced.

And yet, all I was able to think about, was how much bounty those lost lives will bring to my family’s budget, and how much I was relaxed from it, before returning to my daughters and son…

But I still think about that first wounded soldier I had to treat…

Speak about paradox here…

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Welcome to space, trust no one…

It’s a blood-soaked business you’re in now, yes. Most of our work is in warfare, either building weapons or using them. The actual death tends to happen out of sight, though, so it’s pretty easy to ignore-- and many of us do.

But I think it eats holes in us anyway. We’re human, after all, not celestial beings scooping up souls like bulging nets of fish.

One word of respectful advice, Ms. Xer? If you reach the point where you are comfortable challenging the Abyss, perhaps consider abandoning mission work. The missions baseline agents send us on can start out a challenge, but for a skilled pilot such tasks increasingly become one-sided massacres.

In the end, you’ll be basically a mass executioner. To be drowned in blood, yet bored: it’s hard for me to imagine a state that would be more corrosive of the soul.

If you start a personal attack on someone you shouldn’t complain they return the favor. As I have said above, you reap what you sow.

I’ve tried to be rational and sensible with you, but… I am done here.

You have insulted me personally multiple times and said many times in public things about me that are straightforward lies. I see no merit in continuing this farce.

If you want a constructive discussions, argue ideas other people bring against you, not their persons.

See you in space.

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Welcome to space, and the IGS!

I share this sentiment. There are those capsuleers that do not particularly care about their body count - or even revel in it. There are those capsuleers who care little for the lives of their crew. I find it understandable, but distasteful. I try to preserve life if possible - no matter if they are my crew, or prisoners from destroyed ships. You were a combat nurse - you know better than most the horrors of war. I hope that you will do the same as me - after an engagement, sift through the wreckage. Recover those lucky survivors. You will find that they are valuable sources of intelligence - they could give you another target. If not, well, they will likely be in need of employment and accept lower wages than someone you recruited from a station. And if you have no need for them, hit me up - I am always looking to bring more people to my colony in Venal.

Oh, and as you have noticed, there are those who are … difficult to interact with here on the IGS. I advise not interacting with them at all, as some of my more experienced peers have advised. They’ll lead you in circles and resort to personal attacks. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. Trust me, I know.

  • Shasta

Setting aside all the grrrrrr, angst and dismay,

I do hope that you find your place in the universe, and make good friends. And though we are on opposite sides of the isle here, I do try to keep open diplomacy.

Feel free to visit my Wind-Chime garden, and or my gym, The Iron Asylum, anytime.

Or a cup of coffee. I won’t offer tea because as a Caldari that could come off as a threat.

Don’t loose your sense of wonder. It’s too easily stripped away as a capsuleer.

Welcome to New Eden and the IGS.

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Since everyone else is making offers: any un-augmented refugees of Minmatar origin from capsuleer battles we can receive on On The Way Home refugee base, currently in Amo.

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Been quite busy with my family - has precedence before capsuleer life…

Miss Ash, as I learned long before I even considered capsuleer career, trust is commodity hard earned and easilly lost… and this has not changed.

Miss Jenneth, I fully share this view.
While still not prepared, I do plan to enter the Abyss, eventually… feels appropriate for my long-term mood. And also this Proving, is much better, than those “mass executions”, as you aptly noted.

Mister Shasta, well, I do care. I have both taken and saved lifes (often personally), so I value each one - even if it is life of enemy… and about survivors? Sure care, if possible…
About - certain persons - yes, I noticed. My general attitude is to give at least one chance, usually more. But up to certain limit… and I make mistakes too. :wink:

Mister Thorne, I like your approach, and am open for further talk. Even personal…
And no, simply being Caldari is no problem for me. As long as I can have sensible talk (even if disagreeing), I don’t judge anyone - despite some previous misunderstandings here… grins

Miss Rhiannon If I encounter some, I’ll consider it - if I am able to get there, I’ll do.

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I believe that a lot of the earlier issues and clashes between our people stemmed from that. A mis-understanding and a lack of willingness to see each other for who we are. Good and bad.

My comms, and my doors are open.

I also tend to give hugs.