I sense potential for you to enjoy this game - IF -you can distill your admirable determination from your not-so-admirable stubborness and use it to your advantage.
You hardly know much about this game. That is ok. Nobody knows much about any new thing they involve themselves in the beginning stages of their involvement in it, eh?
Attitude is everything in EvE. My friend you must change your attitude towards learning about this game and please consider what folks might be trying to tell you/teach you about EvE.
Read much on EvE. Watch some videos about EvE.
EvE is an enjoyable game, if you arm yourself with knowledge. You will get out of EvE enjoyment in proportion to what you put into it in attention and effort.
I sincerely hope you will be able to look back at what you are saying now and wonder “What was I thinking?” Be the opposite of the OP.
Yes, I urge you to join a corp. Why? You will learn so much about this game. EvE can indeed be played more casually if you wish, but really you need to know how to play it first to know how to do that properly.
May you have an enjoyable experience in EvE.