Months of Anti Amarr rhetoric? Quite a feat in the week or so I was in the Summit prior to joining Pyre.
I think you heard me argue loudly against Avalynkaa and others who saw joining the Caldari Militia as a betrayal of my blood and it left a big memory. And either way I do not trust your memory of what it means to be ‘anti-Amarr.’
What I remember Samira, is asking for your help more than once. I remember asking you for advice and I remember you turning your head.
So I acted as instinct said I should, I followed the path god had laid before me. With no orders or authority or mentor who could or would make the decision on what to do next for me I made a choice. One I will not apologize for.
One I am far from convinced was a mistake. It happened for a reason and it is not for a Kameira or, maybe it is just not for me to dally and dwell on why because someone else did not approve of the act.
Not the results, but the principal of me doing it.
If you wanted me to question if I did the right thing or grow doubts in my mind you should know after all these years by now it will not work. Not this way.
I own that I made the choice, I own all the consequences that resulted what few there are. I own that at the time I did not know if I was going to ruin or opportunity.
If that is not enough for you then so be it. I cannot or will not give you some whining recited regret I do not feel for a crime I did not commit.
I never denounced god and a flag is just a cloth with a symbol on it.
You do not know of a time I have failed, you do not even know what I consider failure, what those who breed Kameiras consider failure. You are just another ■■■■ up who is hoping to see someone dragged down to where you fell. You are the one who is spineless and weak, a toady always to Arrendis or Samira or whoever is more brave than you in challenging what I say and do.
You tainted what you swore to protect, you failed in your duty to your Clan and Tribe.
And you can do nothing but jump up and down and shout insults another supplies you.
Apparently you didn’t see the quotes copied. So I’ll do it without a spoiler this time.
[ 2013.02.28 07:15:06 ] Ayallah > Ugh, Amarr. Pod yourself.
[ 2013.03.03 23:43:04 ] Ayallah > Slavers talking about morality.
[ 2013.03.04 06:25:52 ] Ayallah > I find the concept laughable, that any human could imagine any god great enough to be the stars and seas.
[ 2013.03.04 06:42:04 ] Riesuleah Hadah > Sadly, selfishness has a way of insidiously creeping into organized religion as well.
[ 2013.03.04 06:42:36 ] Ayallah > Creeping? It is a core tenet!
[ 2013.05.04 04:54:03 ] Ayallah > I was lied to a lot.
[ 2013.05.05 09:24:13 ] Constance Bonacieux > Those who ‘write’ the scriptures are inspired by God.
[ 2013.05.05 09:24:36 ] Ayallah > Says those who write the scriptures…
That’s two months worth of Summit logs. I could find more quotes from the records, but I think that’s enough to prove the point.
Because of your loyalties. I told you to choose a side. And that if you didn’t know what to choose, then that was something you needed to figure out for yourself.
Which you have. Even if you want to forget your time of doubt.
So this is all you’ve got? Trying to turn my words into an insult against me? I am entirely aware of my failures and I acknowledge them. You can throw them at me all you want, I beat you to it the moment I became aware of them. Call me what you will, little craven girl. You’ve been presented with the evidence of your betrayal and your failure.
Deflecting desperately isn’t going to change what you are, cowardly little traitor.
No, I did not see the quotes before. I am not familiar with the new format and I am loath to linger long enough to learn it.
You have claimed I am a Republic loyalist who will die beside Heretics. You claimed it because you do not like my attitude, because you think I am arrogant. Your only evidence is twenty days spent in a militia and all the four year old words you can dredge from a public channel taken out of context and free of tone.
You are making no attempt to know why I did the things I did, what thoughts I had when I did them, or an discussion as to their consequences.
You do not honestly want me to improve or learn anything. You do not wish to topple barriers to my progress.
So what do you want from me Samira? To break my confidence in god, in myself? To make me lose stride?
Jev North
Oh wow , Ghost will be very, um-… wait. TLF, er, TLIB?
I cannot even remember the correct stupid acronym for their Militia yet I am supposedly loyal to the Republic and a traitor on their behalf. What a joke.
That’s just it, Ayallah! The why doesn’t matter! Sin is sin, no matter your justification. That you can look at blasphemy, and say, “Oh, the why matters. The context matters. The tone matters,” shows how little faith you have. You’re so afraid of being wrong, or being seen as wrong, when what you should be most afraid of is actually being wrong. I do want to break your confidence in yourself, because your ego refuses to recognize your own mistakes. Because you are always falling back on a ‘why’. That is the barrier to your progress.
You say kameiras are told they are Chosen. Well, it’s about time we stop telling people they are born blessed. People cannot recognize or confront their own sin when they are taught that they are above it.
This is the last I have to say on this.
Which test reveals more of the soul, the test that a man will take to prove his faith, or the test that finds the man who believed his faith already proven? If you know this answer, then you also know which of these challenges bear the greatest penalty for failure.
-Missions 5:14