Launch of Saisio Eskeitan! Idol Group and SIMP

7th May YC124
22:00 EST
Saisio III

For Immediate Release.

It is with immense pleasure I announce today on behalf of Steel Octopus Asset Protection Unit the formation of the Sukuuvestaa-Intaki Mutual Partnership (SIMP) program. Recognising the unique shared history of the Intaki and Caldari people the SIMP program aims to build mutual trust and understanding between Sukuuvestaa Corporation and Intaki populations in the Placid region through initiatives aimed at promoting cultural understanding and harmony that is beneficial for all parties involved.

The first initiative to be launched by the SIMP program will be the Saisio Eskeitan! Virtual Idol Group. Virtual Idols are a popular entertainment platform within Sukuuvestaa Corporation and feature entertainers using animated virtual avatars to digitally stream to a live audience through GalNet. Providing a variety of entertainment options from gaming to gambling there is usually a Virtual Idol to fulfil a range of media consumption demographics. Viewers can even show their support for their favourite Virtual Idols through donations or the purchase of merchandising opportunities.

Saisio Eskeitan! Will be launched in Placid through established Quafe Corporation media streaming services. Premised on the concept of the students at a fictional all-women’s military academy located on Achura, the First Generation of Saisio Eskeitan! Virtual Idols will combine top-notch entertainment and production value with the promotion of Achuran culture, Sukuuvestaa Corporation values, Caldari history, and the proud patriotism of Peace and Order Unit best practices in order to realise the goals of SIMP.

The women of Saisio Eskeitan! All look forward to introducing themselves to their future Intaki audiences at their debuts scheduled in two weeks time on May 22nd YC124. Further details available if you follow Saisio Eskeitan! On Peeper!

Saisio Eskeitan! Who will be your Idol?

Michifusa Nishouji
CEO
Steel Octopus Asset Protection Unit

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All activities which increase the prosperity of the region are most definitely welcome if you ever are in need of investors within the region please reach out.

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Maybe it is my own experience growing up in Sukuuvestaa speaking, but I remain cautiously optimistic about this initiative. I know the way SuVee operates. Why now, after all these years, do they express interest in promoting State-Intaki relations? Furthermore, why would any Intaki on Intaki Prime choose to purchase a product that promotes SuVee values, Caldari history, or P&O patriotism? Might you recall that only a mere two years ago Lai Dai pillaged the planet for their own greedy cause. I find it highly unlikely any native Intaki would be interested in sending more money to megacorporations right now.

What Intaki need right now isn’t your silly hologram avatars. What they need is decisive action regarding the future of security in their system. Both State and Federation officials need to work through the recent spate of ■■■■■■■■ preventing these long awaited actions from taking place.

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I do not believe such affairs can be resolved peacefully until Leopold is located and extradited to the State for interrogation and legal proceedings. The continued failure to produce him or even cooperate with the State by the Gallente Federation will only prove to us that he acted with their interests and orders.

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It is not within the power or remit of the Saisio Eskeitan! Idol Group to affect political change or the circumstances of war.

However it is hoped that through the power of wholesome entertainment and the power of friendship the women of the Saisio Eskeitan! Idol Group can warm the hearts of our viewers so that they can know the joy of a shared humanity supporting their favourite Idols.

In recognition of that goal, half of all donations made during the debut stream will go to Intaki charities affected by the current conflict.

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As much as some here seem determined to bring the conversation to more political matters I will reach out a tentative hand of friendship.

My operations are still on hiatus at this time I do hold interests in a not inconsiderable number of hotels, bars and night clubs.

Don’t be a stranger.

Suprab Nahi xoxo

what percentage of SuVee’s PR department decided on that name because it sounds like half of them are in on the joke and probably a good percent of them are actually simp for these upcoming virtual idols

Have you considered SKINs and voice-packs for on-board AI? I, for one, would love to have Nikushi Nakatomi as the face and voice of my NeoCom.

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I like Sunano Sonoda. She is a bit like me, and her given and family name start with the same letter just like me! I could almost think that she was inspired by me, but the other girls also have the same thing with their names.

Rise up, Achurans! Sukuuvestaa Corporation is pimping out your daughters to the Intaki!

But have hope! For the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist is here to sweep away your navel-gazing, passive religion with one based on violent Reclaiming — and the Reclaiming of your Sukuuvestaa overlords is at hand! Soon, very soon, God will restore a True Emperor who will sweep away the oppressors of the Achurans and liberate your daughters from the foul Intaki. Save your daughters and become a sedevacantist today!

How absurd.

Sukuuvestaa Corporation has been a defender and champion of Achur culture for centuries. Saisio Eskeitan continues the proud Sukuuvestaa tradition of celebrating the culture of Achura through media initiatives welcomed by a foreign audience.

Achur should feel empowered in seeing themselves represented by the stars of Saisio Eskeitan!

Achurans! Sukuuvestaa goons are coming to abduct your daughters into the SIMP program! They will be taken to an imitation military academy, dolled up in age-inappropriate makeup and clothing, and made to perform in front of a lecherous studio audience of Intaki with grabby hands! They will be locked in cages and not fed until they flirt on social media with old men with grotesque, bulging Civire chins three times their ages!

Save your daughters! The True God and the True Emperor will favor all those Achurans who rise up and liberate your homeworld from the Caldari heathens! The Throne that is Vacant will soon be filled, and the Achurans will take pride of place among the peoples who flock to his banner! Achurans, resist!

I don’t think this is the thread for you to share your disturbing fantasies.

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Go home dude. You’re drunk.

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This show has caused quite a sensation on my flagship today. I caught one of the hands hosting a viewing party for what I assume is the pilot episode during duty hours.

After the spacer had recieved the appropriate lashes, I was curious and to my surprise found the show quite wholesome and full of heiian martial virtue, though I did not understand some of the slang and why their eyes were so big.

My favorite is the “Tumikki” character. She is, objectively speaking, the best girl.

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Goons have no Priority Recruitment & Extraction teams within Sukuuvestaa.

Now I thought that Amarrian looloo settin’ up his own little crazy church in Federation space was strange enough, but this… what the hell is even this?

And it sure seems like there’s ulterior motives that stick out here more than the mole on my marketing director’s forehead. Which he must actually like cause I don’t know why he ain’t done got it removed yet. I don’t really get why eggers like this kinda stuff, but I ain’t really been around other eggers for the longest time… so, eh.

Anyways, go ahead and try it out. If my kin done got their senses still they’ll throw it back in your face.

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