2023.02.11
SAMANUNI III, WIYRKOMI CORPORATION FACTORY, BLACKRISE
Protesters bearing signs proclaiming “Stop SIMPing” and “No FAP” have descended upon the Seituoda Eskeitan! office in Samanuni’s Wiyrkomi station along with today’s release of the Sedevacantist Church’s third holoreel, Eyes for Faith. Among the villains of the new holoreel, Seituoda Eskeitan’s SIMP and FAP divisions are portrayed abducting Achuran girls and forcing them into a horrific life as “idols” servicing lascivious Caldari. According to anthropologist Jakke Jarvi at the New Caldari College of Arts of Sciences, Eyes for Faith is designed to promote hatred of the Caldari people. “Every Caldari we see has a grotesquely oversized, stereotyped Civire chin and can’t keep his eyes off or his hands from grabbing Achuran women. This holoreel needs to be banned everywhere.” It is not known whether the Samanuni protesters were organized by the Sedevacantist Church, and Wiyrkomi authorities are expected to disperse the crowd quickly.
The Caldari are not alone in their reservations concerning Eyes for Faith. Across the border, spokesperson for the Federation’s small Achuran minority, Satsuki Yamazaki said that the holoreel reinforces Achuran stereotypes. “The new Achuran character, Cheeky, is a sexy magical seductress with a belt full of alchemical love potions,” she said. “Elsewhere, Achurans are shown inflicting magic curses and relieving such curses by sleeping with the afflicted. The holoreel even celebrates the old custom of making brushes from the eyelashes of those defeated in battle, in this case Civire and Deteis. Eyes for Faith is prejudiced and must be banned.”
Activists weren’t the only ones unhappy with Eyes for Faith. Popular holoreel critic Pascal Lavigne declared the new holoreel “The worst of the three.” “At least with The Scent of Faith”, he continued, “one could fast forward to the love scenes and enjoy Amirah Damali’s sizzling hips. Now they’ve integrated the sermon scenes and the love scenes, so one can’t watch Amirah and newcomer Mayumi Sasaki in action without hearing Chastity whisper something about the awesomeness of slavery to Cheeky while the pair are in bed rubbing hips.”
The Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist declined comment for this story.