The Venal Prosperity Network is excited to announce that issue #3 of Bad Bunny is finally here to start off YC 124! The December auditions have brought us many stimulating candidates, but only six managed to make the cut for this issue!
Representing those of feminine frame…
Masala Ziin - Staying true to their occupation, this shocktrooper is sure to make an electrifying presence in this issue!
Jaelin Warus - Need a checkup, this alluring medic will be sure to give your needs very special attention!
Nora Kesko - Either it be plundering derelicts or functioning vessels for technology. This salvage expert isn’t afraid to get theirs hands dirty!
Representing those of masculine frame…
Gadreil Creili - Displaying their roguish demeanor, this former Serpentis smuggler turned H-PA Crew runner is sure to leave a lasting impression in any negotiation!
Vimon Meek - This demolition expert Is sure to make your heart explode with their impactful presence!
Jasus Ralmick - See a dirtier side of this professionally dressed businessman. Former Laid Dai accountant and certified shark. This one pushes more than just pencils!
With a lineup like this, the start of YC 124 is looking very promising! We at the Prosperity Network hope to see our subscribers enjoy this new issue and hope each of them has a prosperous YC 124! To pick up your copy, please go to your preferred Depository branch office for pickup!
SAISIO III, THE FORGE
Caldari authorities have made multiple arrests following destruction of property by followers of the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist at a Sukuuvestaa Corporation warehouse in the rundown village of Shingō on the Achuran homeworld of Saisio III. Called a “Tea Party” by its participants, the disturbance saw about a half dozen young Achuran men, disguised as stereotypical tribal Minmatar, break into the dockside warehouse and carry out approximately five cubic meters of tea, which they then dumped into the nearby Mutsu Bay. This event followed several weeks of clandestine propagandizing on the streets of Shingō: one poster placed throughout the village featured a menacing-looking Deteis serving a teapot to a terrified Achuran family with the caption, “Caldari Tea Brings Death! Choose Life! Choose Sedevacantism!”
Evidence at the scene led police to the home of 26 year old Habiki Higashi, where they found a sedevacantist house church installation featuring a Temple Stone upon an altar and an artistic portrait of the “True Emperor” whom the sedevacantists believe is coming to claim the Amarr Throne. Mr. Higashi reportedly shocked the police with his conduct, spitting upon them, calling them “occupiers”, and claiming that the “True Emperor” will soon liberate Saisio from “death-bringing” Caldari.
According to Professor of Amarr Religion Juilien Antonine of the University of Caille, the “Tea Party” and related propaganda fits a sedevacantist pattern of recruitment in economically backwards areas featuring nationalism and revenge for perceived wrongs, real or imagined. Professor Antonine indicated that the introduction of Temple Stones to Achuran Sedevacantist worship is new and its purpose unknown. A strong Sukuuvestaa response, he concluded, should be expected — although Achuran resistance to Caldari rule is barely seen and the number of Achuran sedevacantists likely very small, Caldari authorities would not accept any resistance to the import of tea or any other product on Saisio or any other Caldari colony.
For its part, Sukuuvestaa denied that any tea stored in Shingō contained kresh, the potentially poisonous ingredient found in Caldari ritual teas, but the corporation refused comment whether such tea was present elsewhere on the Achuran homeworld.
Location: Port Sarum
Reports are leaking out towards pilots in space from local news sources of an increase in general insurrectionist activities and several explosions have been reported in the northern ruins of Port Sarum, the former city on Raravoss III.
Less often broadcast are the several missing patrols in different parts of the ruined city. Whilst given as forces being lost to the collapsing ruins, one report indiciated that the remains of a 10 man squad was found butchered, with some bearing molten edged wounds, and a single note was left with a blade pinning it to the corpse:
Once a realm on the shoulders of giants
Forged with ember and gold
Now a lost land, it’s fading in silence
Haunted by demons and ghosts
Painted on the wall in black paint behind the body was the symbol representative of the Amarr Empire.
While technically baselining, a man who is introducing himself as Ché Biko has been hiking in and around the Syagrius estate on Intaki with an older woman. On his hikes, he is asking locals he encounters about the estate and Bataav’s letter in See & Hear.
“I should address the Fedo in the room… Or rather the room itself. Let it be known that the irony is not lost on me when I speak of “nature” and the winds, yet do it inside a man-mad station in space… Admittedly, I’m embarrassed at this fact as much as you may think I should be. This setup is… nice. Yet, not fitting to what I teach. This, ‘shrine’ is for sake of simplicity. So none of you are bothered to go to some planet in the asscrack of this region just to hear me speak… Ontop of that I know not a site on a planet worth erecting a shrine on yet. Yes we’re in orbit of a… Wonderful world. Yet… It is not much different than this very station we’re on now. In Time, I hope to address this and establish a more proper shrine where we can properly commune nature itself. Until then - I ask of you to pay a visit to a planet, taste air that hasn’t been recycled a hundred time. Touch grass, dirt, just… Enjoy what the Maker left for us. Don’t just come here to listen to me speak. act on it. Go out and commune with nature properly and not let just this be it.”
- Suha Raibuya, speaking at the Windchime Shrine aboard The Rabbit’s Warren in 6NJ8-V
ATLANINS III - IMPETUS PUBLISHER, EVERYSHORE
The second holoreel founded by the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist, titled The Scent of Faith, has released today in both regular and Aroma 3D theaters. Starring Ni-Kunni actress Amirah Damali, the production, a prequel to the previous sedevacantist holoreel The True Emperor, follows the adventures of a pilot with a tiny waist and giant hips named Chastity. The Scent of Faith begins with Chastity rising through the ranks of a purported Amarrian loyalist capsuleer alliance known as LUX, headed by a blonde part Amarrian, part Ni-Kunni woman known as Solarina. Fighting alongside — and taking orders from — another group of pilots named the “Chosen Minmatar”, Chastity wins victory after victory until she is invited to be initiated into LUX’s inner circle. There, she undergoes a ritual installation of fangs and is told of the hidden purpose of LUX — to produce half-breed offspring by miscegenation who will become the mortal tabernacles for a race of demons. Told by her Brutor boyfriend that the time has come for the couple to advance this sinister plot by having a child together, they are interrupted by sirens — a peaceful slaver convoy has been discovered and LUX must attack. But on this fateful mission, Chastity is captured by the Sedevacantist Church and its leader, “Poseidon”, with whom Chastity comes to share a stormy romance. Finally convinced of the error of her ways, Chastity joins the forces of sedevacantism in a crusade against LUX on land and in space, winning victory after victory with the force of her hips and teeth until LUX is crushed and defeated.
As with its predecessor, The True Emperor, critical consensus is running overwhelmingly against The Scent of Faith. “Everything about this holoreel is excess,” wrote one critic. “Excess hips. Excess naked podgoo scenes. Excess biting.” A minority of critics found something favorable to say about The Scent of Faith, particularly the energetic performance of its star, Ms. Damali. “Enthralling hips, Enthralling scent,” wrote one who had evidently seen the Aroma 3D version.
Patient members of the audience noticed a post-credits scene following The Scent of Faith wherein the sidekick of LUX leader Solarina, an Achuran witch named “Melody”, begins chanting a curse against Poseidon and sedevacantism in the ruins of LUX headquarters.
“Did you see The Scent of Faith yet?”
“No, I’ve been watching Dr Spice with that cute-looking Julian Flavours.”
"I liked it to begin with - I’m wearing the scarf, for goodness sake! - but it dropped off a bit when it got all… Sexual. That’s not really my thing, lovely.
“Oh, I adore it! Nothing like getting a bit hot under the collar!”
“And yet you won’t see The Scent of Faith with me! Amariah Damali looks like a Goddess…”
“You ought to be careful with films like that. The ‘crazed cultist’ watching a film made by other crazed cultists? People will talk! Anyway, I thought you preferred your women more… Petite?”
“They don’t have to all look like her. Beggars can’t be choosers after all. It’s been a very long time…”
“Since before the James stuff?”
“Way before, lovely. You become damaged goods with that amount of baggage. So let them talk! Naup doesn’t talk complète nonsense anyway. CONCORD was one of the worst, most corrupt things to happen to this cluster anyway!”
“Don’t talk like that! There are ears everywhere - especially around you! Don’t bring me down with you!”
“Oh… OK… I see.”
“I didn’t mean…”
“It’s OK. I get it.”
“Don’t go!.. Ange!”
A social media help wanted advert found on a fluid router.
Category: Health and Interests.
Title: Ice Climber mentor wanted.
Name: Ax’l Thorne
Sport Interests: Body building, weight lifting.
Hi, I’m looking to get into ice-climbing. Saw some really cool footage of people climbing up the frozen falls of Ipex, and it’s inspired me.
I am specifically looking for an experience person to teach and mentor me.
I am willing to pay.
Credentials will need to be verified.
Please reply if interested.
User ID: 66nVR1222-eef690NNTR
Mehatoor VI - 24th Imperial Crusade Logistic Support (Imports and Customs Docks)
“You sure we really need to be inspecting every single container coming from Caldari or Gallente space?”
“She was adamant that not a single piece of merchandise from the holoreel make it into circulation here. Something about keeping the MIO from rearranging her face. Besides, we’re on 'til 0400, what else are we going to do?”
“Woah, woah, woah! What is that!? Some sorta doll?”
“It looks just like her, and hey! It has a button! Some voice lines?”
[Oh Poseidon!] - [The Throne is Vacant!] - [Incoherent Moaning…]
“She’s not going to be happy about this…”
Trickles of gossip and whispers on the wind speak of a gathering at The Eyrie of Heaven in Asakai this weekend…Saturday, 19th February at 1900 NEST…security will be enforced…
The Venal Prosperity Network is both displeased and humiliated to announce that the Rabbit’s Warren Freeport in 6nj8-v has been deanchored as per orders of owning Brotherhood of Spacers Alliance.
The deanchoring was decided after the attention of a far far larger Capsuleer alliance know as Fraternity began a widespread crusade against structures belonging to BOSS in attempt to evict the group along with other Capsuleer residents in Hopes of taking the region for themselves. The Warren was deanchored to avoid it a target for this overwhelmingly large alliance that has a vendetta.
While BOSS is not fleeing and not ruling out the renachoring of the Freeport, this turn of events is a giant step back for economic prosperity within the region.
Residents and business owners of the Warren were silently informed of the ongoing dilemma and efforts to evacuate before the deanchoring process finished went underway immediately. While it should be no surprised that a Capsuleer structure could always come under fire like this, it is still with a heavy heart to see the uprooting of so many homes and businesses aboard the Warren stuffed into nearby Guristas occupied stations.
For those businesses that opted into the Prosperous Venal Depository’s insurance plans in the event of "Capsuleer Shenanigans " - All charges to transport assets out of the warren and store it are being covered by us as well as assisting owners in finding a new site to relocate their business if they so desire. Businesses not on this insurance plan can still reach out to the Depository in search of aid in relocation for a 25% fee based on the amount of assets needing to be relocated.
Headquarters for both the Prosperous Venal depository and the Prosperity Agency will be moved to the Guriatas logistical station in 6NJ8-V and Windchime Guru Suha Raibuya has relocated to the Guristas Productions shipyard in system to continue providing spiritual guidance.
The news of this structure’s anchoring is a step back from turning Venal into a prosperous economical destination, we at the Prosperity Network are devastated at this news and hope that this Fraternity alliance is swiftly fought back and warren reanchored so business mat resume as it was
20th Febuary YC124
Over the past few days the planet has seen an increase of unmarked ships and pro-Sedevacantism supporters. These newcomers appear to be more vocal in their support for the church with almost all new violent clashes against protestors involving these individuals. Vandalism and graffiti have also increased in the area near the church with either “Sede Vacante”, anti-Minmatar slur or a mixture of both.
Kasrasi - live news feed
Numerous suited people have been seen coming and going from popular nightspot, L’Amore in Ballo. When questioned, owner Lasairiona Raske brushed off suspicions of something more nefarious, stating she was merely changing a few suppliers as some had become unreliable.
However, this reporter feels…
feed is abruptly cut off, followed by shouts and static
Local : Nasreri
[ 124.02.24 23:08:37 ] Aria Jenneth > Saisa, suuolo.
[ 124.02.24 23:08:45 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Saisa!
[ 124.02.24 23:09:13 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > What are you doing?
[ 124.02.24 23:10:01 ] Aria Jenneth > Taking a bit of a breather right now. You?
[ 124.02.24 23:11:36 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > I was wondering what to do.
[ 124.02.24 23:11:54 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > I still am, I suppose.
[ 124.02.24 23:12:31 ] Aria Jenneth > Well … generally or just right now?
[ 124.02.24 23:12:56 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Right now.
[ 124.02.24 23:15:00 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Is the directrix with you?
[ 124.02.24 23:17:29 ] Aria Jenneth > Not presently. I’m … kind of on my own presently.
[ 124.02.24 23:18:22 ] Aria Jenneth > Well-- of course we’re usually in contact, though. Do you need to speak with her?
[ 124.02.24 23:19:25 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Yes. Well … maybe it will suffice if I send her a mail.
[ 124.02.24 23:19:54 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Would you like some company?
[ 124.02.24 23:21:15 ] Aria Jenneth > I’m not sure I’m very good company right now, suuolo. I’m pretty tired. Been … kind of one thing after another lately.
[ 124.02.24 23:21:17 ] Aria Jenneth > But …
[ 124.02.24 23:25:18 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > You can relax by yourself. I do not mind.
[ 124.02.24 23:27:38 ] Aria Jenneth > I’m sorry. … company just kind of … …
[ 124.02.24 23:29:24 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > No need to be sorry, suuolo. I …
[ 124.02.24 23:31:07 ] Aria Jenneth > … I’m just … a bit tapped to be social. I feel like it’d be a letdown.
[ 124.02.24 23:33:58 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > You don’t have to talk. Maybe … we could have tea and … meditate or something? Is that something you do?
[ 124.02.24 23:34:27 ] Aria Jenneth > It is.
[ 124.02.24 23:34:46 ] Aria Jenneth > … usually mornings, or when I need to rest.
[ 124.02.24 23:34:59 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > But no pressure. If you prefer to be alone …
[ 124.02.24 23:35:30 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > I’m … good.
[ 124.02.24 23:36:13 ] Aria Jenneth > Well … maybe a little company would be okay. I’ll have you shown down.
[ 124.02.24 23:36:47 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari >
Some visitors of the Gottin’s Lamp gymnasium have become a bit disturbed by one of a female Achur’s training exercises: the beheading with a sword of a holographic person seated on the floor, with the Achur striking from behind.
CAILLEGIRL SPECIAL FEBRUARY LATE/MID MARCH DOUBLE ISSUE
SPECIAL ALTERNATE COVER AVAILABLE TO PREMIUM CAILLEGIRL SUBSCRIPTION HOLDERS!
OTHER STORIES INSIDE
- Noted CEO Reveals She’s More Than Just a Badass! Even the best still need to unwind!
- INSIDER! On the set of the 5th Star Captain Holofilm!
- AI: Are they truly as dangerous as CONCORD wants us to believe?
- Vice and Vanity in Dam-Torsad, Special Report from the heart of the Amarr Empire!
- CailleGirl’s Hottest Capsuleers of YC123 Late Release
- Fighter Nose Art Competition Winners
- Embassy District Prankster Tells
- Capsuleer quarters decorations sure to impress this season
AND MUCH MORE!
((OOC Art Credit to SoftDraws on twitter))
[ 124.03.11 19:07:38 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Hm. Verone. Now there’s a name I have not see here before.
[124.03.11 19:09:20 ] Zentron Kalkoken > “Woah, that’s the Gurista’s Capsuleer guy right?”
[124.03.11 19:09:31 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Yes.
[124.03.11 19:11:30 ] Zentron Kalkoken > “Well, I do love that POS Fuel.”
[ 124.03.11 19:11:51 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > ?
[124.03.11 19:12:37 ] Verone places his finger to his lips, and speaks with a slight smirk before his holo dissipates > I’m not here. I’m merely a figment of your imagination.
Mehatoor - 24th IC Station
In an unprecedented move, a capsuleer is being called on for back payments of child support after numerous attempts by the yet-unnamed capsuleer to contact the mother and child.
“He just won’t leave us alone, so I figured, why not? Maybe he does have some connection to her. I still wouldn’t leave her alone with him,” the mother told reporters outside the courtroom after the initial hearing.
The mother claims she had her memories wiped after several traumatic encounters with the father. Still, she believes he is of means to support child and make sure she is brought up according to the proper tenants of the Amarrian Faith.
Little is known about the father, as records in this case are closed due to the minor age of the child, but it can be confirmed he has been ousted as a heretic by the Amarrian Theology Council.
The mother is being represented by the Legal Offices of Alahmed and Rogan. We caught up with the mother’s attorney, Octantia Dadarwar. “While we do not recognize this person’s rights as a citizen of Amarr, we do feel it is the responsibility of all parents to contribute to the upbringing of their children, and make sure they are brought up accordingly in the Faith. And in doing so, he should be made to pay for that upbringing, heretic or not.”
When asked about the mother, Miss Dadarwar brought this additional bit of information to the table, “Once the child is provided for, we will be doing all in our power to make sure this poor woman is compensated for the trauma inflicted on her by this individual. Years have passed since the incident, but we have no statute of limitations on these types of crimes.”
Miss Dadarwar departed without further comment. We will be following this case with interest.
My character, ‘Zed’, is well known in a growing number of taboo places across New Eden, as her tastes are about as eclectic and shameless as it gets. You name it, she has probably tried it. On almost every flight, even into Amarr territory, she makes time to indulge and sample even more.