Rumors! Gossip! Tabloids!

I’ve found it… unavoidable when it comes to having my words recorded and transcribed. Why I even see this as something to ‘avoid’ is simple - I don’t wish to teach a spirituality that I’d bond by words made in the past. What I mean by that is I want wayism itself to be an ever evolving spiritual understanding that doesn’t sit and rot like the Caldari’s horrifically narrow sighted and outdated interpretation.

I speak critically not only of Caldari Wayism, but any other religion or spirituality that binds itself to some… tome! Or clings to some “tradition” to justify their stagnated development. What good does some book of holy words do beyond acting as a source of rigid spiritual oppression over it’s followers? What are ‘traditions’ if not some excuse to cling onto old and archaic practices that acts as a barrier for progression.

Society evolves, technology evolves, entire ecosystems on planets evolve and humanity-it-■■■■■■■-self evolves! I see no reason why our spirituality should not also evolve with the times! To not dwell on matters millennia ago and to look at the world we have today and find new interpretations! I want to raise you all up spiritually for a world you live in today and not shackle you down to an understanding made in societies that are practically alien with how primitive they are compared to what you see now.

The future is inevitable, we must not be afraid of it. Nothing it holds will shake your spirituality because we will be ready to evolve with it… Such is, the way…

  • Suha Raibuya, speaking at the Windchime Shrine aboard The Rabbit’s Warren in 6NJ8-V
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A: Delta flight took a beating boss…
L: …How many.
A: Five of ten destroyed… four heavily damaged.
L: Cloning triggers?
A: Two. Other three, we have confirmation their burners fired, but their infomorphs never made it into the buffer. Can only assume Red Troop has them on ice.
L: how did it happen?
A: Delta was diverted from their usual patrol pattern near Eugales V and Argallant after catching a distress signal from a supposed bulk transporter. Shadow Serpentis attacking, and trying to disable it. They got Auth from the OY tower to warp and intercept. Lead into a deadspace pocket after that, not all too unusual.
L: Alright… was it a legitimate distress broadcast?
A: Seems so… Transporter was taking fire, as described. Delta tore the attackers to shreds, and were in process of verifying that the transport was still functional when three pacifier class Covert Ops and two Enforcer class Force Recons decloaked. Opposite side from the acceleration gate landing zone. Rocket and RLML designs.
L: They were just watching the transport be attacked…
A: Yes ma’am. Seems so. Probably thought it’d draw out one of the squadrons… and they were right.
L: The pilot of the transport, and its crew?
A: in custody and undergoing debrief, they surrendered themselves willingly after escaping the fire zone.
L: I want a background check on all of them… but I doubt they’d have handed themselves in if they were willingly Red Troop’s decoys.
A: never know these days…
L: what about the Red Troop ships?
A: Delta gave it a good swing there. Two pacifiers slagged, one of the Enforcers was crippled… but the crew burned all the databanks and comp systems before abandoning ship. Not much to salvage there other than the outward hull and basic weapons. The other Pacifier and Enforcer faded off after sustaining moderate damage. We assume their FC was still cloaked and observing, as a muted warp signature was detected exiting the pocket when the last two peeled off.
L: This is… less than enthusing Agonarch.
A: No ■■■■ boss…
L: In the future, if a squadron diverts to intercept a general distress, I want a secondary squadron scrambled to screen… We can’t have other squads getting caught offguard like this.

3 Likes

Region: Devoid
Constellation: Kisana
System: Mehatoor
Station: 24th Imperial Crusade Logistics Support

INTERNAL COMMS

A WARNING KLAXON SOUNDS, A VOICE INTONES: 15 MINUTES UNTIL DISASSEMBLY AND COMPACTION

A WARNING KLAXON SOUNDS, A VOICE INTONES: 5 MINUTES UNTIL DISASSEMBLY AND COMPACTION OF GOTTIN’S LAMP - VACATE IMMEDIATELY

WITH CLACK AND CLICK, THE MYRIAD ROOMS OF THE CAPSULEER CORPORATION’S OFFICE COMPACT FOR SHIPMENT AND THE MODULAR PIECES HEAD ON A CONVEYOR BELT TO A PROVIDENCE

6 Likes

Artpiece considered Lost resurfaces in Caille’s Museum of Modern Arts.

See & Hear, Intaki, 1/1/YC124

A mural from the hand of none other than Saccade Amir has found its way back into the limelight. It is well documented that the piece with the Olives was a gift from the Artist formerly known best for her Trigonometry exhibit a year and a half ago, to the proprietor of the Gallente Lounge, none other than the Illustrious James Syagrius.

The piece itself depicts an Olive orchard, with most olives decorated with pained and screaming faces, uncovered genitalia and other expressive artistic licenses that Miss Amir is best known for. It decorated the Lounge for a good half a year before mysteriously disappearing from the Capsuleer-haven’s bar overlooking the Crystal Boulevard.
Rumour has it that much to Miss Amir’s dismay, no one has conferred with the artist about the painting’s fate. The management of the Gallente Lounge has been tightlipped and gave no comments whether or not the security footage showed any evidence as to the paintings abductors.
Was it painted over? Was it lasered off? Who knows. Today word reached See and Hear, that we might finally know what became of the piece best known as ‘Screaming Sexual Olives’

Now however, a large piece of armoured concrete wall has appeared in the Caille Museum of Modern Art. The fragment of wall is encased in a clear resin block, showing a depiction of sexually active Olives. It is even more strangely, the centerpiece of an exhibition on Street Art. Among other well known graffiti artists, whose pieces have all been cut out of the buildings and walls they were placed on originally, Miss Amir’s stands out as being one of few artists in the exhibit whose Identity is known.

Experts have congregated at the exhibit to try and determine whether or not the concrete is a match with the Aidonis Elabon building’s, and whether or not the paint and techniques used are similar to Miss Amir’s. They seem unanimous in their decision that this is, in fact, an Amir Original.

The director of the museum could only express their gratitude to whomever donated the artwork but wouldn’t reveal the identity of the gracious donator. ‘’It is amazing to have a piece from someone as well known as Miss Amir in our collection.’’ was the director’s closing remark.


Come see the Street Art Exhibit in the Caille Museum of Modern Art. From 1-1-YC124 through to 1-6-YC124 Follow the [Link] to order tickets now!

Jorianna Gallaire Director See and Hear, Capsuleer Affairs Correspondent

2 Likes

Article in Nakriskaya Gazeta, a news outlet of Nakri, Domain, Amarr Empire, dated 03 January YC124

ENGAGEMENTS IN PATZCHA RESULT IN DESTRUCTION OF INVADER FORCES

A Task Force from the Loyalist Capsuleers of LUMEN and PIE, supported by elements of other EDENCOM affiliated groups, engaged large numbers of invading Triglavian vessels yesterday, resulting in the destruction of numerous of enemy ships and a significant blunting of their offensive capabilities. No losses to enemy action were reported by the stalwart defenders, who held the field, surrounded by the smouldering, disintegrating wrecks of over two hundred shattered adversaries.

Recent combined efforts by organisations supporting EDENCOM actions, both within and outside of the Empire have struck major blows against the sinister enemy, whose inhuman origins can only be guessed at, but whose genocidal intentions are all too clear. Even groups who have, in their ignorance, previously rejected the Word of God and the Beneficence of Her Imperial Majesty have pledged to support Imperial efforts to stymie and turn back the benighted alien tide. The Victory in Patzcha, won through the heroic actions and selfless bravery of the Heroes involved, must stand as a shining example to those few who still refuse to join forces with the true Defenders of Humanity, and who foolishly rejected united effort as the path to Victory and Peace.

It must be remembered too that, though it may be to a lesser degree of glory, all ordinary subjects of Her Imperial Majesty, and those with True Faith in God, all men, women, and children across New Eden, also aid every day in bringing Final Victory over the invader ever closer, be it through diligent prayer, material donations, voluntary enlistment, or vigilant watchfulness for heresy, betrayal, and treachery.

We thank those who fought with such devotion and ferocity in Patzcha, and pray that many more triumphs over the enemy will soon follow.

God Bless LUMEN, God Bless EDENCOM, God Bless Amarr, God Save The Empress!

5 Likes

4th January YC124

The One&Only Show

The One&Only Show logo graphic flashes across the screen as various scenes of presenters and past broadcasts are shown in a montage as joyful music is played. The camera begins pointing at the stage lighting and then begins to pan down showing a man in his late 30s with dreadlocks and younger woman with bright blue hair. Both are sitting on one of two sofas on the set.

Nina Brown - Hello and welcome to the One and Only Show, live on Galnet and all other FTL broadcasts across the cluster with Nina Brown and Brett Glory.

Brett Glory - As we lead into the new year of YC124 we bring you a cute little story about a dog befriending baby fedos, scientists will tell us how snow falls in space and the latest capsuleer gossip with Thorpe Towers.

NB - Before all that, our first guest has been causing quite the stir among the capsuleer community. He has won multiply accolades, most self-appointed and has amassed a major following that some would call a cult. He’s with us tonight to talk about his new show. Please put your hands together for Julian Flavours.

The screen behind the two presenters displays a poster of the the tv show, while Julian Flavours strolls in wearing a fluorescent green and purple suit with flashing neon trim. He takes a seat on the same sofa as the presenters, wrapping his arm around Brett.

Julian Flavours - Thank you, Brett, Nina, it’s lovely to be here. I must say, you both look simply ravishing tonight.

NB - Why thank you Mr. Flavo…

JF - Please call me Juls.

NB - Uhh, so Juls, tell us about your upcoming tv show, Doctor Spice is it? What’s it about? What inspired you to write, direct and star in it?

JF - Well, I’m glad you asked Ninny. I was laying by the fire, wearing nothing but my birthday suit. I had the finest Amarrian wine in hand and I was contemplating the space and all that’s held within her bosom. And it came to me, BAM! A completely original idea about a man travelling to through time and space in a DED box named the Love Shack. Armed with just his trusty Love Wand, he travels to distance and not distance universes to solves mysteries and cure broken hearts.

I plan on having this show run forever, and it would be terribly boring if it’s just the same crusty actor, moi, playing the Doctor all the time. So, Doctor Spice is a space lizard who sheds his skin every season. Mainly so he can hide his true identify but for off screen reason so I can carry on doing what I love.

BG - And to let other talent take the role, correct?

JF - Oh, and that too, of course! I’ve made sure to add some cameos in there too, so you might see some familiar faces. But I won’t spoil it for you, shall take a we look?

BG - (That was my line) Yes, lets take sneak peak of your new show, Doctor Spice.

The preview shows Julian dressed head to toe in tweed with an uncomfortable number of scarfs round his neck. He’s acting is subpar, with awkward dialog between the other actors. At one point a cameraman’s leg can be seen sheepishly sidestepping out of shot. Both presenters are gawking as it finishes, in contrast, Julian beams with pride.

JF – I know, I know. Speechless. I expect awards out the ears for this. Maybe even a cross over with SUPER ■■■■POSTING SIBLINGS!

BG – I… Uhh

NB – Thank you? That was something. So, moving on…

The show continues at its usual pace with Julian making comments on everything.

12 Likes

A roundup of news items concerning the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist

Reverend Balash Kavad remains besieged in his former church building in the Lamadent III town of Roussillon, broadcasting sermons to the outside world via loudspeaker. Fr. Kavad has taken up historical ultra-nationalist rhetoric in his speeches, referring to his listeners as the ‘Guardians of Gallentia’ who will save the Federation from what he calls the ‘Minmatar enemy within’. The reverend has personally hoisted the insignia of the Guardians, an ultra-nationalist organization from the early federate era. over his former church’s steeple. Minmatar-rights activists have called upon Gallentean authorities to shut down Fr. Kavad’s preaching and arrest him, despite the looming threat of the Prototype Nuclear Small Arms that Fr. Kavad claims to have in his possession.

. . .

The Sedevacantist Church in the Jin-Mei homeworld of Lirsautton V continues to collect refugees from the church’s banning in Aeman Constellation as well as those fleeing Imperial persecutions. Religious services for the sedevacantist faithful are being performed in the basement of the sedevacantists’ Lirsautton church building, strictly separated from the caste Jin-Mei worshipping upstairs. In contrast to the low-key efforst to provide for sedevacantist refugees, the church has tried increasingly bombastic advertising campaigns to attract the attention of caste Jin-Mei. One recent billboard proclaims, ‘Mixed caste marriages make ugly babies’, complete with a picture of an unhappy looking Jing Ko mother, a Saan Go father, and a suitably ugly baby.

. . .

The Church has released a teaser trailer for its next holoreel, a spinoff of last month’s The True Emperor. Titled The Scent of Faith, the trailer features actress Amirah Damah in the role of ‘Chastity’ delivering hip-check after hip-check to a variety of foes, not only Minmatar but some ethnic Amarr. According to Sedevacantist Church spokesperson Calyce Io, the title speaks of Chastity’s spiritual journey as she discovers the truth of sedevacantism among the web of lies spun by so-called Amarr Loyalists in the present age. The title is also a play on words alluding to the holoreel’s impending release in scent-enabled Aroma 3D theaters. On the comparatively rare occasions she isn’t nude or in underwear during the steamy trailer, Chastity seems to be wearing capsuleer outfits: a Women’s ‘Corsair’ Heels (black), a Women’s ‘Poise’ Pants (black), and a Women’s ‘Avenue’ Shirt (white).

8 Likes

The following news article appeared in the 20 December YC123 edition of the Beseth Dunijia TImes newspaper

20 December YC123
by Kaylin West

UNF Opens Embassy in Dam Vishen!

Khaios Merkez was abuzz this afternoon, as Duke Shasta and his fellow nobles held a grand ceremony to celebrate the grand opening of the first foreign embassy on Beseth Dunijia. The ceremony commenced at 14:00 and lasted until 18:00. The ceremony began when Duke Shasta, accompanied by top nobles and diplomatic officials and escorted by a squad of eight Legionnaires from the Dark Wolf Legion and a half squad of 4 men and women from the newly raised Diplomatic Security Corps, informally known as the Embassorial Guards, walked down Khaios Merkez from the sprawling complex of government buildings, formally known as the Jekhti Merkez, that lay at the center of the city and contained the heart of the government and handed over the keys to the embassy to a delegation from the United Neopian Federation. For the next few hours, representatives from the UNF and the Sovereign Duchy gave speeches, celebrating the grand opening and expressing their hopes for a prosperous partnership between the Neopians and the Sovereign Duchy.

Public opinion was resoundingly positive. As one citizen stated, “The Sovereign Duchy is small. We have one planet, and no navy. The Legion is our sole military force, and much of it is deployed elsewhere. We have to depend on pirates for additional military support! Pirates! The Neopians are … not as well known as the Guristas, but hey, they should at least be more reliable, no?” Another citizen concurred, simply stating, “Pirates change their loyalties on the flip of a coin. Empires do not.” However, a few naysayers steadfastly refused to interact with the Neopians, fearing betrayal. One voiced his concerns to the Times, arguing that “the Neopians are led by a capsuleer, one that owns supercarriers. And what do we own? A capsuleer’s personal fleet, of which only a handful of frigates and destroyers are stationed in Venal. And the UNF even has warclones! Warclones! Have y’all heard what warclones are capable of? There’s a reason SARO has Red Troop, ya know?”

From the Neopian delegation, there was much excitement at the opening of the embassy, with assorted ambassadors from a number of the nationstates that make up the non-capsuleer component of the United Neopian Federation, though some consternation was noted over the presence of the noted diplomat and capsuleer director Lauralite Anne Brezia being in attendance, both from select members of the Neopian delegation itself, and amongst some members of the general populace. One delegate from a particularly conservative UNF nationstate asserted that “The manner in which that one conducts herself is perhaps the greatest travesty in all this.” The delegate was quickly rebuked by another member of the Neopian group, downplaying the negativity of their compatriot by stating that, "what he means to say, is that if it weren’t for the Lady Brezia’s impeccable eye for business and diplomatic connection, perhaps her extracurricular activities may be more worrisome”.

In other news:

  • UNF - Sovereign Duchy Economic Conference Rumored to Involve Discussions on a Possible Arms for Minerals Deal

  • Duke Shasta Ardeind Proclaims the First Ever Prosperous Venal Fair Will be Held from 2nd January YC124 to 8th January YC124

  • Prosperous Venal Fair to be Held in Newly Built Open Market Complex

  • Guristas Pirates Will be Allowed to Dock at Dam Vishen Spaceport for Lowered Customs and Spaceport Fees and Sell Their Goods to Citizens During the Duration of the Fair

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