Rumors! Gossip! Tabloids!

UNF Orbital Yards

“WHO THE FU-”

6 Likes

2021.11.23
LAMADENT III, SINQ LIASON

Brandishing a menacing-looking rifle in the air, standing on the steps of his now-closed and barricaded church, Reverend Balash Kavad of the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist proclaimed, “All the lawyers and judges who think they can banish sedevacantism from this land need to learn a new phrase: Prototype Nuclear Small Arms.” Adjusting his clothing to reveal a wire connected from his rifle to his chest, Fr. Kavad continued, “And those filthy Minmatar subhumans who think they have won any kind of victory over us need to learn another phrase: Fail Deadly.” Following this performance, Fr. Kavad retired inside his church while his social media accounts posted what appeared to be a capsuleer user interface element indicating possession of 141 units of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in the Federation Customs station near Lamadent I:
pnsa
Social media sleuths quickly determined that the 15 jumps indicated in the image marks the distance between the Gallente system of Lamadent and the home of de facto sedevacantist leader and capsuleer Nauplius in the Amarr system of Mehatoor, suggesting that the image originated in Nauplius’s own computers. Pilot Nauplius has frequently boasted of his possession of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms and has threatened to deploy the devices, which originate in rare Angel Cartel manufacturing facilities in deep space and can command multi-million ISK prices on the capsuleer market.

For its part, the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist through its spokesperson Calyce Io claimed to have dissolved its Aeman Constellation branch in response to what it called “unjust lawsuits” and signed over ownership of its lavish church in the impoverished township of Roussillon to Fr. Kavad in his capacity as a private citizen. Although in the process of evacuating Aeman’s sedevacantists to the Jin-Mei constellation of Ysiette, the Sedevacantist Church said that Fr. Kavad had voluntarily stayed behind to continue performing the Imperial Rite in Roussillon in perpetuity, that being his right and duty as an ordained priest. Questioned regarding Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in particular, Ms. Io claimed that Fr. Kavad possessed rights of self-defense and his church having been officially dissolved, was no longer breaking Federation law. Her voice taking on a taunting tone, Ms. Io concluded by saying, “Show me where it is written that Prototype Nuclear Small Arms explicitly are illegal in Lamadent.”

Authorities have given a muddled reaction to Fr. Kavad’s threats. Having established a perimeter around the Roussillon Church, they seemed reluctant to take additional steps, perhaps unconvinced as to whether the Reverend had really smuggled in Prototype Nuclear Small Arms (or just a prop) and what sort of evacuations would be necessary had he gotten hold of the obscure weapons. A Geiger counter quickly rushed in from the capital yielded slightly elevated readings surrounding the church, however, given Roussillon’s extensive history of industrial pollution such readings must be inconclusive. Given the Sedevacantist Church’s apocalyptic theology, it is believed that the church building may house substantial survival preparations, enough for Fr. Kavad and perhaps a small number of additional stay-behind sedevacantists to hold out for years. At this writing, authorities were beginning to evacuate tenements across from the church (much to the groaning of their desperately impoverished residents) while attempts to calculate the yield and capabilities of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms continued.

3 Likes

Dam-Torsad Times, 11/22 YC 123:

A report from our intrepid reporter live at the offices of the Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque, the Executor Corporation of Amarr loyalist alliance Khimi Harar, in the Edencom outpost known as “Smokey”.

“Here we are in the last hours before the fall of ‘Smokey’, Angymonne, in the occupied territories referred to by its Triglavian occupiers as ‘Pochven.’ Khimi Harar has evacuated substantially most of its capsuleers, crews and materiel. Those remaining have assembled for a ceremony in ‘General Hangar One’ as the office is closed in advance of the ‘hull timer’.”

The camera pans, showing the banner of the Amarr Empire hanging from the rafters of the Hangar. Alliance crew in their dress brown naval uniforms and Special Ops soldiers from Dark Sefrim Six in their white dress uniforms and kilts are at attention. A sole trumpeter begins to play ‘The Last Post’ as the golden banner is slowly lowered to the hanger floor where an Honor Guard receives and folds the banner and presents the folded banner to Khimi Harar’s Pochven detachment commander, Gah’Matar, a grim looking man of matari descent and a former member of the 24th Imperial Crusade.

“As the trumpeter plays a solemn tune, those lost in the campaign of reprisal against the Triglavians and their Kybernaut allies are remembered. Thousands of dead, never again to see the shining light of Holy Amarr Prime’s rays.”

“The proud banner of the Empire, marking this hangar as its foothold in ‘Smokey’, along with the loyalists of other empires comprising Edencom based in the Astrahus, is retrieved to be returned safely home. This facility had served as a redoubt for humanity and a staging point for reprisals against the invaders holding the occupied territories. How it must sting for Praefector Gah’Matar that the collapse of the last outpost of humanity in the occupied territories was, in part, caused by the betrayal of his former compatriots who chose to stand with the enemies of the Faith, and not with the Faithful.”

The camera feed continues. A slender athletic blonde, Maria Daphiti, in her Amarr pilot’s uniform yells for the assembled to “Attention”. She looks at the assembled. “Chin up! We’ll be back.” She grins wickedly, then adds more darkly “And we’ll remember who stood with us t’ kick Triangle butt, and those who didn’t.” A toss of her pony-tail, then she bellows: “March!” With a slow drum beat the columns of crew and soldiers steadily and grimly march to their separate waiting shuttles that will take them out of Pochven.

The voice over concludes “And so the final acknowledged outpost of the Empire and its loyalist capsuleers in Pochven was closed in advance of the destruction of ‘Smokey.’ This strategic loss will make it that much harder to attempt to reclaim the occupied territories from their invaders. However, the sources at Khimi Harar I have spoken with have commented that “the fight has only just begun.”

15 Likes

2021.11.25
FREEDOM SHIPMENT STORAGE, NAKRI VI, DOMAIN

The Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist has released a statement directed at the perpetrator of an assassination attempt against the Minmatar wife of local Nakri nobleman Alexandr deSilvestris, a crime in which the church’s members (among others) have been suspect. The statement read: “A worthy attempt, but next time try Prototype Nuclear Small Arms.” Attached to the statement was an image of a capsuleer’s user interface element suggesting the presence of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in Nakri’s Freedom Extension Storage station:
pnsa2

1 Like

intercepted transmission, Eugales

GE: She has tasked me with an additional mandate
SS: We have… noticed. You are not overextended, yes?
GE: Hardly. If anything dear, this is a small, welcome distraction from my hypervigilance.
SS: We see.
GE: You are concerned over something.
SS: data pattern analysis suggests major movements should have occurred by now. Only logical conclusion. Adversary makes large claim and motion, countermotion required, in direct, or indirect fashion…
GE: and DERAIL and SARO have not, have they Silver Smile?
SS: No… they have not.
GE: Humans are not inherently logical entities. Not even their large organizational bodies can be considered such. It is also plausible that they have information you do not, which has stayed their hand.
SS: …Such as?
GE: Such as the recent political pressure applied from the Gallente Federation against DERAIL particularly.
SS: …but the federation does not control…
GE: Basic Sovereignty of the Eugales system still belongs to the Gallente Federation. Despite the current comm node control statuses, and despite the director’s actions in regard to system infrastructure development.
SS: …will revise data modeling…
GE: Please, do so.

1 Like