UNF Orbital Yards
“WHO THE FU-”
UNF Orbital Yards
“WHO THE FU-”
LAMADENT III, SINQ LIASON
Brandishing a menacing-looking rifle in the air, standing on the steps of his now-closed and barricaded church, Reverend Balash Kavad of the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist proclaimed, “All the lawyers and judges who think they can banish sedevacantism from this land need to learn a new phrase: Prototype Nuclear Small Arms.” Adjusting his clothing to reveal a wire connected from his rifle to his chest, Fr. Kavad continued, “And those filthy Minmatar subhumans who think they have won any kind of victory over us need to learn another phrase: Fail Deadly.” Following this performance, Fr. Kavad retired inside his church while his social media accounts posted what appeared to be a capsuleer user interface element indicating possession of 141 units of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in the Federation Customs station near Lamadent I:
Social media sleuths quickly determined that the 15 jumps indicated in the image marks the distance between the Gallente system of Lamadent and the home of de facto sedevacantist leader and capsuleer Nauplius in the Amarr system of Mehatoor, suggesting that the image originated in Nauplius’s own computers. Pilot Nauplius has frequently boasted of his possession of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms and has threatened to deploy the devices, which originate in rare Angel Cartel manufacturing facilities in deep space and can command multi-million ISK prices on the capsuleer market.
For its part, the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist through its spokesperson Calyce Io claimed to have dissolved its Aeman Constellation branch in response to what it called “unjust lawsuits” and signed over ownership of its lavish church in the impoverished township of Roussillon to Fr. Kavad in his capacity as a private citizen. Although in the process of evacuating Aeman’s sedevacantists to the Jin-Mei constellation of Ysiette, the Sedevacantist Church said that Fr. Kavad had voluntarily stayed behind to continue performing the Imperial Rite in Roussillon in perpetuity, that being his right and duty as an ordained priest. Questioned regarding Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in particular, Ms. Io claimed that Fr. Kavad possessed rights of self-defense and his church having been officially dissolved, was no longer breaking Federation law. Her voice taking on a taunting tone, Ms. Io concluded by saying, “Show me where it is written that Prototype Nuclear Small Arms explicitly are illegal in Lamadent.”
Authorities have given a muddled reaction to Fr. Kavad’s threats. Having established a perimeter around the Roussillon Church, they seemed reluctant to take additional steps, perhaps unconvinced as to whether the Reverend had really smuggled in Prototype Nuclear Small Arms (or just a prop) and what sort of evacuations would be necessary had he gotten hold of the obscure weapons. A Geiger counter quickly rushed in from the capital yielded slightly elevated readings surrounding the church, however, given Roussillon’s extensive history of industrial pollution such readings must be inconclusive. Given the Sedevacantist Church’s apocalyptic theology, it is believed that the church building may house substantial survival preparations, enough for Fr. Kavad and perhaps a small number of additional stay-behind sedevacantists to hold out for years. At this writing, authorities were beginning to evacuate tenements across from the church (much to the groaning of their desperately impoverished residents) while attempts to calculate the yield and capabilities of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms continued.
Dam-Torsad Times, 11/22 YC 123:
A report from our intrepid reporter live at the offices of the Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque, the Executor Corporation of Amarr loyalist alliance Khimi Harar, in the Edencom outpost known as “Smokey”.
“Here we are in the last hours before the fall of ‘Smokey’, Angymonne, in the occupied territories referred to by its Triglavian occupiers as ‘Pochven.’ Khimi Harar has evacuated substantially most of its capsuleers, crews and materiel. Those remaining have assembled for a ceremony in ‘General Hangar One’ as the office is closed in advance of the ‘hull timer’.”
The camera pans, showing the banner of the Amarr Empire hanging from the rafters of the Hangar. Alliance crew in their dress brown naval uniforms and Special Ops soldiers from Dark Sefrim Six in their white dress uniforms and kilts are at attention. A sole trumpeter begins to play ‘The Last Post’ as the golden banner is slowly lowered to the hanger floor where an Honor Guard receives and folds the banner and presents the folded banner to Khimi Harar’s Pochven detachment commander, Gah’Matar, a grim looking man of matari descent and a former member of the 24th Imperial Crusade.
“As the trumpeter plays a solemn tune, those lost in the campaign of reprisal against the Triglavians and their Kybernaut allies are remembered. Thousands of dead, never again to see the shining light of Holy Amarr Prime’s rays.”
“The proud banner of the Empire, marking this hangar as its foothold in ‘Smokey’, along with the loyalists of other empires comprising Edencom based in the Astrahus, is retrieved to be returned safely home. This facility had served as a redoubt for humanity and a staging point for reprisals against the invaders holding the occupied territories. How it must sting for Praefector Gah’Matar that the collapse of the last outpost of humanity in the occupied territories was, in part, caused by the betrayal of his former compatriots who chose to stand with the enemies of the Faith, and not with the Faithful.”
The camera feed continues. A slender athletic blonde, Maria Daphiti, in her Amarr pilot’s uniform yells for the assembled to “Attention”. She looks at the assembled. “Chin up! We’ll be back.” She grins wickedly, then adds more darkly “And we’ll remember who stood with us t’ kick Triangle butt, and those who didn’t.” A toss of her pony-tail, then she bellows: “March!” With a slow drum beat the columns of crew and soldiers steadily and grimly march to their separate waiting shuttles that will take them out of Pochven.
The voice over concludes “And so the final acknowledged outpost of the Empire and its loyalist capsuleers in Pochven was closed in advance of the destruction of ‘Smokey.’ This strategic loss will make it that much harder to attempt to reclaim the occupied territories from their invaders. However, the sources at Khimi Harar I have spoken with have commented that “the fight has only just begun.”
FREEDOM SHIPMENT STORAGE, NAKRI VI, DOMAIN
The Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist has released a statement directed at the perpetrator of an assassination attempt against the Minmatar wife of local Nakri nobleman Alexandr deSilvestris, a crime in which the church’s members (among others) have been suspect. The statement read: “A worthy attempt, but next time try Prototype Nuclear Small Arms.” Attached to the statement was an image of a capsuleer’s user interface element suggesting the presence of Prototype Nuclear Small Arms in Nakri’s Freedom Extension Storage station:
intercepted transmission, Eugales
GE: She has tasked me with an additional mandate
SS: We have… noticed. You are not overextended, yes?
GE: Hardly. If anything dear, this is a small, welcome distraction from my hypervigilance.
SS: We see.
GE: You are concerned over something.
SS: data pattern analysis suggests major movements should have occurred by now. Only logical conclusion. Adversary makes large claim and motion, countermotion required, in direct, or indirect fashion…
GE: and DERAIL and SARO have not, have they Silver Smile?
SS: No… they have not.
GE: Humans are not inherently logical entities. Not even their large organizational bodies can be considered such. It is also plausible that they have information you do not, which has stayed their hand.
SS: …Such as?
GE: Such as the recent political pressure applied from the Gallente Federation against DERAIL particularly.
SS: …but the federation does not control…
GE: Basic Sovereignty of the Eugales system still belongs to the Gallente Federation. Despite the current comm node control statuses, and despite the director’s actions in regard to system infrastructure development.
SS: …will revise data modeling…
GE: Please, do so.
From: Horus Du’Gannon
Sent: 2021.11.12 12:47
To: Galm Eskola-Fae,
I am Horus Du’Gannon.
I speak as a sobornost kybernaut and as a former director of the warclone unit, Dead Man’s Game.
Hear and heed the words of my prayer.
Years ago, I stood along side my narodnaya as we fought on Caldari Prime only to be abandoned by the empires that called for our playful communion.
Later, after this exile my narodnaya and I found a new home in the region of Molden Heath. Only to later be hunted down and routed by CONCORD and SARO on the whim of those same decaying empires.
With that they took from me my narodnaya, my home and my purpose…
It was in recent weeks that I have had the pleasure in providing mortification to the Order of St. Tetrimon who encroach upon my territories.
It gave me no surprise to find in their hypocrisy that the Order was using the same technology that they deigned from us to extend their own goals.
I have heard of your work upon Skarkon and I wish to assist you in this endeavor.
upon a reply of conformation of you reading this communication I will release the control of 1000 Warclone blans raided from the facilities of the Order of St. Tetrimon to your command.
I wish for you to bring Kril Efrit to heel, so we may take from them as they took form us.
Hear and heed the words of my prayer
I speak as a sobornost kybernaut and former director of the warclone unit, callsign Dead Man’s Game
I am Horus Du’Gannon
From: Galm Eskola-Fae
Sent: 2021.11.13 03:15
To: Horus Du’Gannon,
I’m humbled and grateful for your show of solidarity with Varyazi Clade. I’m happy to welcome you into our community both as a proven sobornost kybernaut and as an experienced fellow warclone brother in arms. I graciously accept this material support, and extend our pledge to serve as faithful allies alongside you in the defense of Pochven and in hunting enemies of the Collective.
Additionally, as former director of Dead Man’s Game I am please to inform you that you, as birthright, are equally entitled to your seat within the Round Table Assembly congress of warclones and to the shared lands of Skarkon under our occupation. This includes our planetary and orbital holdings, as well as spaceborne structures in the system. The lands under our ward are the rightful homeland to all of our kind, to provide a place of refuge and settlement for those who have faced prosecution from our enemies in the empires of old.
How fitting, that we should find ourselves reunited here in Pochven as a community. You honor us with your gifts, presence, and comradery.
1100 11 20 123
FR ORBITAL DOCKYARD, SKARKON II
TO CV QUESTING BEAST
VARYAZI CLADE IS IN ASCENDENCY. WITH EACH VICTORY IN POCHVEN AND CONTACTS MADE WITH FELLOW COMRADES WITHIN THE STRUGGLE OUR RANKS SWELL. REINFORCEMENTS OF VETERAN WARRIORS INBOUND TO REINFORCE VARYAZI POSITIONING WITHIN SKARKON AND AMONG CLANDESTINE COMBAT TEAMS ACROSS ANCIENT DOMAINS. STANDBY FOR DETAILED DEPLOYMENT ORDERS AND EXPECTED RELIEF.
(((Special thanks to @Horus_Du_Gannon for the awesome in-game ̶s̶c̶h̶e̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ character discussion)))
Money, has no power here in this Shrine… I do not pass around a donation plate expecting any of you to open your wallets up in return that your generosity will purify your spirit or some nonsense along those lines… Your money is of no use to me in providing you spiritual enlightenment. Money will not buy you anything in nature, it will not buy you anything spiritually. Your money is a man-made concept, the natural order of our reality does not revolve around it. The only power money has is to obtain necessities and luxuries in a peaceful manner.
That is all what money is, nothing more - nothing less. While it’s perceived as holding limitless influence in human societies, in nature - The foundation in which all societies are built upon - your money is worthless. The idea of currency is a religion in itself, a religion where we believe these digits, or physical slips of paper and bits of metal have more value than the form in which it’s represented in.
Am I calling for everyone here to abandon their wealth? No… Keep your money. Play along with those that see these digits as something more and use it to your advantage to obtain things far more meaningful and real. If I’m calling for anything of you, it is that you leave here today wiser, that you leave here now seeing for what your currency really is. Illusions that can be traded for things of actual value.
ATLANINS III - IMPETUS PUBLISHER, EVERYSHORE
An overwhelming chorus of negative reviews has accompanied the general availability of Gallente holoreel star Jacques Benoit’s latest release, The True Emperor, a project funded by the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist. The controversial holoreel features Mr. Benoit in the titular role assembling an army among Amarr defectors, Jin-Mei caste system enthusiasts, rebel Intaki, and more as they challenge Empress Catiz — revealed to be the weak, submissive plaything of Minmatar ruler Maleatu Shakor in both politics and the bedroom — for possession of the Amarr Golden Throne.
Gratuitous (and un-Amarrian) levels of sex and violence mark The True Emperor’s script, written by sedevacantist leader Nauplius, with the steamy scenes between Catiz and Shakor only the tip of the iceberg. Early in the motion picture, the True Emperor seduces and takes as his mistress a Vherokior lounge singer named Larissa, who somewhat incongruously accompanies the True Emperor on his horse, her indecent red sequin dress riding up her thigh as the pair bounds into battle. Also alongside the Emperor is his sidekick Chastity, a Ni-Kunni woman with a tiny waist and enormous hips who sends scores of Minmatar warriors flying to their doom with her powerful hip-checks. In a climatic scene, a bare-chested Mr. Benoit himself slaughters thousands of Minmatar — civilian and combatant alike — dual-wielding Prototype Nuclear Small Arms.
Critical consensus is running overwhelmingly against The True Emperor, with Galnet aggregator Rotten Long Limbed Roe Eggs scoring the film a rare “0% fresh”. Famed critic Bernadette Renault panned the holoreel, writing, “Again and again a dull pattern pervades The True Emperor. First, a sermon encouraging some new party to join the crusade. Then, a shameless, over-the-top battle scene — during one particularly low point, the Emperor summons a yak herd with some sort of magic scepter and crown which literally stampedes the enemy into the ground. Finally, the Emperor and his willing mistress consummate the triumph on the field of victory as defeated, captive, and chained Minmatar are carried away in the background. Repeat.” Minmatar rights activist Astrid Svensson expressed concern over the portrayal of Minmatar in the production: “Minmatar are shown as monster-like cannon fodder and slaughtered in numbers never seen in the history of holoreels. I’ve heard reports of midnight showings of the picture including a sort of hologame ‘scoreboard’ that rings and counts up every time a Minmatar is killed — which is often.”
The Amarr Empire’s Ministry of Internal Order quickly banned The True Emperor in all the Empire’s territories. Responding to criticism of the production’s sex and violence, church spokesperson Calyce Io said that the holoreel does not present the theology of a mature sedevacantist believer, but instead attempts to spread a taste of sedevacantism among those who would not otherwise encounter it.
“This too? How much junk can a single dude have?”
“Shut up Art. He’s paying us by the meter cubed.”
“Yeah, yeah. But I don’t see you helping us move this stuff.”
“Don’t got time, I got nine more ops to supervise in this constellation alone. The boss is moving everything out of the region.”
Carpenters are seen in the Chapel of Gottin’s Lamp, Mehatoor, Devoid Region taking measurements, and other trades workers are seen throughout the public areas of the office structure scanning joints and the modular layout to prepare for disassembly and movement closer to the Throne Worlds
6th December YC123
Luminaire VI (Gallente Prime) - Moon 17 - Aboard the station Casus Belli
Alarm sirens are blaring as the structure’s integrity is failing. Two women are rushing to pack their belongings, both have blonde ‘Remilia’ style bangs.
“What do you mean we need to evacuate?! I though Julian said his love would protect us.”
“That’s what I was told! Can’t you hear the explosions outside?”
I thought it was a training exercise. My husband is out there!”
“He was one of the fighter pilots, wasn’t he?”
“He is one of the fighter pilots but it’s been too long. Have none of them returned? Do you think something has happened to them?"
“He’s fine, he’ll be fine. We have to think about what we are going to do. There should be escape shuttles ready or something. Julian is saying that some of us could board his Yacht if we had enough to buy a ‘golden ticket’. I’ve got no chance, I spent my entire inheritance to join him.”
“We sold our family home, I’ve nothing to offer! Oh, gods what’s going to happen to us?!”
“Quick, we need to get there, see if we can find a way off this station.”
At the Hanger. A repeated message of Julian’s face is being broadcasted on a projector.
“My precious fans! Our beloved Remilia has shown us what true Love is! Isn’t it beautiful? But wouldn’t you like to see it from a better view? I’m here to say you can. But alas, I only have so much space on Cupid’s Cumulus for those most devoted to Love and most importantly to me. My most trusted guards are on standby who will happily take stock of what value you place in me, and you’ll be given a golden ticket. Then escorted aboard and there you can bask in the warm embrace of Love.”
08 DEC YC123
Mehatoor VI - 24th Imperial Crusade Logistic Support
Baseliner fans and station crewmembers alike are abuzz with rumors of Faith Griffith’s alleged involvement in the production of the now-banned holoreel “The True Emperor”. Imperial Citizens began to notice similarities of appearance and themes in a supporting character, ‘Chastity’ and the SFRIM pilot. Longtime followers have noticed Nauplius’ obsession with Neophyte Griffiths’ hips, going so far as referring to her on Local Communications Frequencies as “Our Lady of the Blessed Hips” and suggesting she attempt to attain Sainthood for the miracle of what he described as her “impressive waist-to-hip ratio”.
Following the release of the holoreel box office flop, Ms. Griffiths changed her appearance not once but twice, in what appeared to be an effort to distance herself from the production. Were she uninvolved, would she really be going through this much trouble to change her image?
ATLANINS III - IMPETUS PUBLISHER, EVERYSHORE
Ni-Kunni actress Amirah Damali recently gave an interview to the Gallentean holoreel press regarding her role in the recent production The True Emperor. The holoreel, funded by notorious capsuleer Nauplius and his Sedevacantist Church, bombed at the box office on the weekend of its release but recently recovered based on ‘so bad it’s good’ word of mouth along with increased appreciation for Amirah’s role as the Emperor’s sidekick ‘Chastity’, a Ni-Kunni with gigantic hips. As 2D and 3D Chastity memes have flourished on Galmet, the Sedevacantist Church has altered its advertising for The True Emperor to place Miss Damali’s Chastity character at the forefront.
Miss Damali proudly told the press that she performed all her own stunts on The True Emperor, including the hip-checks so popular among Galnet memers. Of her recruitment to the project, she said that talent agents never asked her to read more than a line or two at her auditions and instead took precise measurements of her waist and hips, whose size the actress was required to maintain throughout the production by means of a strict diet. Regarding her future plans, Miss Damali continued that as a result of her character’s popularity, plans for The True Emperor’s sequel have been put on hold in order to make a Chastity-centric spinoff instead. She said little of the upcoming holoreel’s plot, but teased that ‘hips aren’t the only weapon in Chastity’s arsenal’. Although Miss Damali said that her agent had received calls from ‘every maker of hip pads in the Federation’ regarding endorsements, all were turned down lest anyone think the actress’s hips were anything except 100% natural.
The Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist declined to confirm its production of a new holoreel starring Amirah Damali but said only that ‘fans haven’t seen the last of Chastity’.
A: Jericho, wake the ■■■■ up.
J: Well well… look who’s using the low band relay this time.
A: You’ve seen the development?
J: Hard to miss a ■■■■■■■ supercap translation.
A: Quite… It made it safely inside the perimeter.
J: Surprised they didn’t just cyno it into the perimeter directly.
A: The ■■■■■ chose the location for construction well. The main platforms are in a band of deadspace. This does make some things more difficult for the logistics with larger vessels coming and going though…
J: Alright, new question. If there’s that kind of bottleneck, why the hell wasn’t SARO and DERAIL up their ass like stink on fedo.
A: Shock at her being audacious enough to do so without a heavy escort maybe.
J: Maybe… hm… catching up on some galnet junk, looks like one of the big boys, Drust, may also have the hots for her.
A: What ■■■■■■■■ tabloids have you been reading?
J: Doesn’t matter… anyway… two supercaps, multiple carriers… a swath of modified intercept subcapitals… Those defensive emplacements… This is getting much more rocky Ali.
A: I told you not to call me that.
J: I don’t think you realize how deep we’re in right now. Or maybe you don’t want to acknowledge it, but its pretty ■■■■■■■ deep. Three of my informants went dark over the past week. She fuckin’ knows.
A: By the Luminaries…
J: You really believe in that crap?
A: We all handle the consequences of our work in our own ways… doesn’t matter though, to quote you.
J: Eh… fair. So… What’s the play. I’ve got a card… maybe… but… yeah after that I’m off-grid a while.
A: Can’t you prop up the FRoRV? Supply them materials, mercs?
J: I could. Doesn’t mean I should, considering the legal ■■■■■■■■■■■ that’s brewing right now. Chances of it paying off isn’t high enough…
A: …what’s that card you have then.
J: Turns out… Serpentis really have it in for little miss ■■■■■.
A: What in the flying ■■■■ Jericho? If this gets tapped…
J: Easy, easy… just… talking hypotheticals.
A: Hypotheticals that could cost me my position if traced.
J: Just consider it Ali… look, none of us are clean working the way we do.
A grainy holo-image, depicting what appears to be a very muscular man, wearing what could only be described as a leather halter X shape harness, a black leather cop-like cap, a pair of sleek skin tight leather pants ending in high top combat stompy boots. On one hand, is a kind of riding crop, and on the other a leash connected to a spiked collar which appears to be boarding the Cupid’s Cumulus. Julian Flavour’s infamous love boat.
In a show of loyalty to the Empress Catiz I of the Holy Amarr Empire, Khimi Harar pilots were seen in force in support of the Emperor Family in the Megeh constellation throughout 12th and 13th of December YC 123 engaging in tasks assigned by Security and Distribution Agents of the Emperor Family.
The Venal Prosperity Agency is excited to announce that after the continued success of the 2nd issue of Bad Bunny - Auditions for issue #3 of Bad Bunny are now officially open!
Auditions will remain open for the remainder of the month, or until we have met our desired number of participants for this next issue. Regardless, the 3rd issue of Bad Bunny will drop no sooner or later than January of YC 124.
We look forward to seeing the applications roll in from those wishing to be a part of Bad Bunny’s future as we approach the new year! May another year of prosperity reign in our region of space!
Julian Flavours named SPACE Person of the Year for YC123
The CEO and Chief Editor of SPACE magazine had this to say.
For nearly a century, SPACE has named a Person of the Year the individual or group who most shaped the previous 12 months, for better or for worse. Person of the Year is a marker of influence, and few individuals have had more influence than Flavours in the Federation, and potentially outside too.
JAN VI - CONCORD Academy (Detention Area)
“… So then I says, ‘That’s evidence! You want to get charged with tamperin’ with a crime scene, Sweetheart?”
“How much you think we’re gonna get for them anyways?”
“Fifty!..No… At least a hundred kredits! We’ll be set for life! This guy’ll pay anything.”
Compared against traditional trans neural brain scanner capsuleer technology or subcompact TEBS, “fifth lobe” warclone implants are proven to act as a much more effective and resilient vessel for non-standard cybernetic augmentation. By taking advantage of the “brain-in-a-box” engram capability of warclone implants to circumvent traditional biological requirements, we can substantially reduce the risk of wetgraving or psychological trauma associated with extreme body dysmorphia so long as deployments are limited in operational length and scope.
Information gleaned from recovered assets from the Crimson Harvest conflict, as well as building off research previously pioneered by the Hematology Advancement Program has allowed us to expand on Operation Jólakötturinn. Previous years subversion operation in Jita 4-4, while unsuccessful in the destruction of strategic infrastructure, served as proof of concept that can be extrapolated for expanded operations this year.
Seasonal superstition and cultural myths perpetuated by InterBus PSA campaigns provide the perfect opportunity to test nonstandard augmentations matching “Yoiul Clones” archetypes in a live PSYOP environment. Despite comments from cooperating agencies of the “cartoonish” and “unnecessarily convoluted” nature of the project, I believe the very absurdity of the concept proves its merit as a tool for subversion in Ancient Domains. I have no doubt that the results will prove interesting if nothing else.