Ordinarily, I would blame Scope’s 555G Harpsichord Entanglement Towers, which have the capacity to not only grow people new arms, but break various universal thermodynamic guidelines. The occupants of Mishi are not able to vote in federal elections, however, and so I am sure that everything will be fine.
Hmmm. I suppose there might be absentee voters… For their sake, my administration will absolutely get to the bottom of any nefarious Harpsichord weather control plots Scope may be plotting.
You know, I’ve heard that CONCORD has a lot of power over us. I’ve heard stories of them controlling video feeds and such, and since we’re all in our pods all the time when we’re cruising around in space, who’s to say they’re not streaming you a load of BS? Some intern forgot to turn the weather pattern pause button off, and suddenly the capsuleers start asking inconvenient question…
CONCORD! How could I have forgotten about them? One of their nanochips probably made me forget.
As President, I will reclaim our sovereignty by devolving CONCORD’s enforcement portfolio (within the Federation) to our navy. We must take responsibility for own safety, and stop relying on an inscrutable black box that makes people forget it exists while simultaneously forgetting to update weather patterns.
Naturally, different cultures have different law enforcement priorities. For us, a liberal democracy vibrating to the hum of mobile consumption, it is imperative we crush criminal activity the moment it threatens shopping. Our sniper teams, which I shall ensure are the best in the Cluster, should be unseen until needed - and unseen after the shooting stops. "Clean up, aisle 5!!
But I am an academic and not an imperialist.
I recognize that one size does not fit all, and other nations should be free (apologies, Diana sweetie) to similarly devolve CONCORD and set their own criteria for what it means to be safe. Think of it. Travelers might start to notice a difference when they crossed national boundaries, allowing them to prioritize their destinations accordingly.
I happen to know, that Caldari, or rather Civire make the best snipers around. Perhaps this is a way for the Feds to extend the olive branch to the State. Securing safe shopping.
And, as Amarrians are the most influential shoppers arounds, perhaps they could spare Matari slaves to clean up isle 5 in exchange for freedom with an added gift. Either a Grouchi handbag, or a Chronix time peice.
Think of it, bringing the cluster together in the name of safe effective, efficient consumerism.
Excellent suggestions! I’ve heard of that craftsman-like attention to detail the Civire bring to sniping - and of course the Caldari are veritable Masters of Range. Paired with Federal drone superiority, I envision this partnership opening entirely new vistas of Special Weapons And Tactics policing in the name of safe shopping.
Now, the Jin-Mei do have a saying that fish don’t play in clean water, and I appreciate the wisdom of not suffocating a booming economy with absolute transparency and sniper squads. Although my White Feathers would make criminal heads explode the instant our criminal head detection systems beamed a threat around the drone network, I am confident Freedom Entrepreneurs would drive the emergence of sophisticated new ways to play the resource reallocation game inside the Federal AbsoluteSafety™ Shopping District.
I’m thinking in particular that smuggling is just another form of entertainment, and what is the Federation if not the entertainment capital of the galaxy? We could make smuggling a form of Reality Holovision. Contestants bribe this official or hack that drone to earn a fortune. But one little mistake and, you know, the White Feathers, or possibly duly licensed deputies thereof, blow someone’s head off.
Think of the ratings!
Yes! Regardless of how other nations choose to structure their internal security after devolving CONCORD responsibilities to their respective navies, all of the Cluster’s residents would be free (depending on certain standings) to pass through the Noh Wall and engage in Effective, Efficient Consumerism in AbsoluteSafety™. We would become the Smelting Cauldron of the Cluster!
*The Federation makes no warranties, and accepts no liability, for any loss to life or property, including property purchased inside the Federal AbsoluteSafety™ Shopping District, when said loss of life or property results from leaving the AbsoluteSafety™ Shopping District by any means, to any territory outside the AbsoluteSafety™ Shopping District, including territories which were formerly part of the Federation, but which voted to leave said Federation to taste the fruits of their own Sovereignty.
This is amazing, darlings, I’m not even president yet, yet my Smuggling Apprentice Reality Holovision Entertainment Program already has its first arrested contestant!
The studio audience should thumb 8551378529 for a full body cavity search, and 8551378526 for a full body cavity search plus complimentary health screening.
Negotiations with CreoDron and various Civire orphanages over the White Feather Special Weapons And Tactics AbsoluteSafety™ Drone Assisted Sniper Star Dome remain ongoing. The acronym will be very catchy in Jin-Mei kunyomi, something like: Ben Ren Ten Bon Ban Go Haku.