New Eden's longest pie baked in Kador region!

News reaches Gutter Press, that bakers on the planet of Akhwa VI in Kador region have baked New Eden’s longest pie, measuring 10km in length.

Pie !

The pie, a traditional Athran puff pastry with meat & gravy filling, was made with the assistance of a large number of Hedion University food science students, under the direction of a Ni-Kunni grand master baker.

Pastry !

The pie was constructed using a continuous extrusion process similar to other mass-produced pies, but without being cut into smaller individual pies, allowing it to be certified by the Kador Baker’s Guild as the region, and New Eden’s, longest pie.

Guilds !

After certification, the pie was carefully sectioned into smaller portions, with a substantial proportion destined for food relief efforts in disaster-stricken areas of the Amarr Empire.

Gutter Press. News.

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You know, this is actually awesome. Yay for Gutter Press delivering good news.

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Wait. An extruded pie? Aren’t pies supposed to be round? Or are you saying pie are square? Or at least rectangular?

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Every Amarrian schoolchild knows that Pie are squared.

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10km is…a lot of mutton. Goodness. I’m jealous of everyone who tried it while it was hot.

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Actually, only 9.86960440109 of them know that.

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It’s still just nonsense like all the rest of their “news.”

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Hm. Maybe, ma’am, but I think Shirley Serious is their “yes this actually happened” person?

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Shirley Serious is the finest journalist for the finest news outlet in New Eden.

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Not that you’re biased or anything, right? :roll_eyes:

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Yey for the Empire!!!

I think we should beat their record and make a 20km long protein delicacy shaft. That would be nice.

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A pie (not to be mistaken for a cake) is a piece of crunchy crust filled with something, thus it can be assembled as a continuous strip, provided a moving cooking facility:

The process implies cooking the u-shaped base beam, then filling it with pre-cooked fillings from parallel assembly lines, then assembling the top crust in a final cooking before exiting the oven in a controlled manner to keep the continuity of the crust beams.

This technique is called “longpieing” and is a thing in some sectors within the Empires.

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The crust doesn’t have to be crunchy. It can be flaky.

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At least this pie isn’t spreading liberalism and abolitionism all over the Empire the way that other PIE does.

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I guess when you’re that far removed from reality, literally anyone seems like a “liberal abolitionist” to you.

To be perfectly honest, getting disapproval from Nauplius is a compliment basically no matter what he’s complaining about.

Regardless, this isn’t the topic of the conversation. Get our name out of your mouth, you ridiculous monster.

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Pie is yummy.

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Imagine going your entire life without ever encountering a continuously extruded food product.

I’ll bet you’ve never heard of the infinite link sausage chain either.

Ms. Serious, please do let the Kador Baker’s Guild know that, LUMEN is accepting donations for the current relief effort. That would Surely be nice!

I fixed it for you. :slight_smile:

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