Poor little Timmy Gallente: Why Gankers are bad people, IN GAME

Good day citizens.

The proposition is that whatever the case may be in real life, whoever the person is behind the ganker, whatever meta game reason they have for ganking and criminal activities, the character, in New Eden, is a bad guy meanie.

They kill you to take your stuff, and in doing so they destroy valuable resources some of which a team of characters may have spent months working on. They kill you just for the enjoyment of causing your character grief. Doing so causes pain, financial loss, and if you happen to be transporting janitors or exotic dancers, permanent loss of life as well! This is part of the game, this is part of life in New Eden. That’s all well. But let me share my sad sob story and why I chose to finally fight back.

Once Mandalf was a poor young industrialist with a family. He managed to earn just enough to buy a second hand venture which was converted partially into a family minivan. Sometimes he would take little Jimmy Gallente, his son, out to see the asteroid fields and hear the wind in his hair.

One day after hopping a few systems over to find the best ice cream in the constellation, Mandalf and little Timmy stopped by an asteroid field to hear the whir of mining lasers, appreciate the lens flares, and enjoy their ice cream.

Mandalf thought them safe, he was a naĂŻve and peaceful family man.
But this was not to be the happy family outing Mandalf had hoped for, and a fleet of catalysts descended upon them in fury and anger, destroying the venture, and looting little Timmy’s ice cream.

Mandalf woke up in a clone, but little Timmy didn’t. It was on this day that Mandalf vowed he would dedicate his meager resources to fighting back against the criminals of New Eden as part of the New Eden Police Force (-NEPF)

As such, if you will allow yourself the tiniest bit of immersion it is quite satisfying to fight back against the bad guys. Think of little Timmy Gallente and how we will never see his smile out in the asteroid fields again.

Give us your kill rights
Fight back
Get better
Save the ice cream



1 Like

Characters who kill explorers in wormholes are equally contemptible. Or nullsec. Or those filthy scum that kill ventures in lowsec.


New Eden Repercussion Force would have been a better name.

– Stealing Signatures Not-Gadget


The thing is is that, unfortunately, the criminals don’t think about the families. They only think about the loot. I wouldn’t be surprised if your attackers didn’t even notice the corpse of a poor, defenceless child floating lifelessly through the belt. Monsters.

Oh, won’t somebody think of the children?!

1 Like

What about kidnappers?

1 Like

Hey, I resent that. We are not the monsters you paint us out to be…

I love all my corspes. In fact, ittle Timmy may very well be adorning my corpse garden.

And sometimes I love them a little too much, if you know what I mean.


Well he was a handsome lad…


smiles in astero

I mean… its just wealth redistribution?

1 Like

This is not true.

We expect citizens to pay a modest annual tax. We are quite reasonable, and go out of our way to let everyone know, so that there is fair warning.

1 Like


I kill explorers in wormholes and nullsec. I look at it as thinning out the competition, and in the case of the contemptible scum that cherry pick cans, I hunt them for the sheer pleasure of the kill. I need to put food on my table and by ice cream for my little Timmy.

Plus I look at it as an educational service for all pilots. Keeps everyone on their toes and keeps everyone from becoming complacent just staring at space beauty.

And that venture pilot in lowsec? He and his friend had plenty of time to see my scan probes and should of had their hand hovering over the warp button. Instead I pointed one and my Hobs killed him and I still just missed pointing his friend. Guess they were taking that gas huffing to the next level, if you know what I mean. Far from filthy scum. More like esteemed educator. (Plus I sent him money for his ship)

This thread brings back memories of the old C&P. Bravo OP.

Though, if your son Jimmy really could hear the wind in his hair while out in space, what those gankers did was a kindness to both him and your family. Imagine the shame he would have brought upon you in the years to come.

They were, in effect performing a valuable charity, something they do every single day across high security space, never asking for any acknowledgement in return.

Truly, they are selfless, unsung heros.

RIP poor, addled brain Jimmy. His suffering is over though. Thanks gankers.


That was a reference to the goofy wind sound effects you get while mining

Yes, I get it. As capsuleers we are subject to some pretty crazy “environmental sounds” fed to us through our neural connections.

Jimmy wouldn’t have had that though. Something was clearly not right with him.

Also I don’t consider low, null, wh space the same as civilization. I know better now, but even then I wouldn’t have taken little Timmy to those spots.

And he was just learning to use d-scan too


Hang on:

I sense a ruse here.

Fess up OP. This is all a lie. Who forgets the name of their own son in the space of 3 hours?


Leave him be, he’s still in mourning.


At first I thought you were giving him a hard time about speaking in third person about himself.
Skriven Penshar hates when people do that


Githany reads Skriven’s last post and laughs to herself. Then thinks of poor Timmy

We never lie .

1 Like