Praise Aiko Danuja, Hound of Halaima, Mistress Mercenary

I have recently (and regretfully) been exposed to how Absolutely Rubbish of an organization Absolute Honor is, and how remorselessly toxic some of their members can be. It is just further proof that four-figure, and sometimes even five-figure membership count high-sec carebear “puppy mill” corporations—most often led by clueless reprobates who have no useful knowledge to pass on to their members and would not know how to do it even if they did—are this game’s malignant, cancerous tumor.

So I decided to do what any self-respecting and cultured EVE player would do when faced with this sort of monolithic threat to common decency; I searched for a mercenary corporation to murder the Absolute Crap out of them:

To this extent, Aiko and crew have performed beyond all expectations. They deployed within hours, and have already caused billions of ISK in damage. Some of the resulting rage in the channel has been absolutely unbelievable (rivaled in recent memory only by the Raven x1 saga, in my opinion).

As such, I have decided to keep this contract going indefinitely. I am viewing this as a mercy kill, and Aiko as EVE’s benevolent Kevorkian, ready and willing to help release these unfortunate players from the Absolute Suffering of having to live in some deadbeat pseudo-NPC corporation/alliance managed by a nobody has-been who is only trying to get in on some corp tax pyramid scheme action.

Do your thing, Aiko. Money is no issue, so feel free to go absolutely wild. I look forward to many more ganks, buckets of tears, and blog posts about this in the coming days.

Remember, dying is not a crime, but crying about spaceships should be.

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You literally got that while I was typing up this thread, lol.

At this point I’m just dumping money, so “free” is about as meaningless as a sample piece of bourbon chicken on a toothpick when I’ve already bought the combo special from the mall food court, but I guess I’ll take it anyway. Thanks!

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Player-generated content, at its finest.

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So tyrants are killing each other eh?
Good.

I assure you that this is a war of liberation, and not a war for control. The tyranny in this struggle is entirely one-sided, and firmly in the purview of the offending party’s leadership caste. I am not a tyrant, as I do not control, oppress, or manipulate anyone. My goal here is entirely altruistic; I am the teacher, Absolute Honor are my students, and Aiko is the instrument that I will use to conduct my complimentary civics lesson on social justice.

This is what I am struggling against:

image

and

image

I am doing this for the greater good. However, please understand that I am not a heartless person, and thus feel compelled to leave room for negotiation, diplomacy, and dialogue.

Which is why I am making it abundantly clear that armed action against Absolute Honor will benevolently stop, if Absolute Honor meets my simple and reasonable demand of completely ceasing to exist.

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Another troll thread, guys?

Cmon.

Is this the same Aiko who gets ‘solo’ kills by shooting up the rest of her ganker team and getting 3% of the hit while Concord get the other 97% ?

Strange how that very same thing gets whined about by gankers if AG do it.

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Yes…as a member of Absolute Order and a student of Safety’s nefarious practices, last night in Oipo I saw an excellent lesson on how they run away when confronted by a ship ( me in my Gnosis ) that can actually shoot back.

Good point. As far as I can tell Safety has never, not once, been involved in the kill of a ship equipped with weapons. Perhaps once the rest of your corp also flies such powerful weapons of war Safety’s cowardly campaign will be forced to end.

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Hi Wes; a bold claim and, alas for you, an inaccurate one.

zKillboard certainly records such events for all to see and savour. I won’t link the kills because it might encourage you to do a little research before posting. Might.

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I am extremely disappointed with the sarcasm detector of my fellow posters

/S

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Oops. You know that’s the second time I’ve done that recently.

I’m losing it, Wes. Forgive me!

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Ill put more /s that’s maybe on me. Sometimes what I think is sarcasm is an actual viewpoint in this forum.

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The highsec miners post the most ridiculous stuff; it is hard to tell what is hyperbole.

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Yeah I knew as soon as I hit reply I wasn’t hyperbolic enough. I don’t know if you can be, really.

The rest of the corp do have powerful weapons, far more so than my Gnosis…but most seemed content to just hang out in dock and let the ganking pass by…even though two of our corp members got ganked. As you’d expect…Silly Cilla was the one who went out chasing after them :slight_smile:

That is actually a false statement with the amount of T2 battleships they have taken out and also the battleship faction variants you may want to check skill before making bold statements I ain’t safety but even I know that…

This is a good synopsis of your entire organization, and the reason for why it must be and will be scrubbed from the annals of EVE.

Sigh…

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Have you considered that your fighting spirit is perhaps lost in this corp? That maybe you have now outgrown them?