Sebiestor Independent News Services

Philana_Kimmala · June 1, 2022, 9:25pm

*The screen jumps to a dark-haired reporter standing in front of a holo-screen. At first it shows a nondescript background that highlights her hair color well, but pictures will scroll through as she reports. *

Philana Kimmala here with Sebiestor Independent News Services.

We’ve received reports that a Rorqual is under attack in Immensea. For those of you that don’t know, a Rorqual is a massive capital industry ship.

Word has it that the ship is owned by The Celestial Empire.

Who is attacking and why? We don’t know yet, but this reporter is on the way to gather more information. Stay tuned to your local comms frequency for more information from SINS.

Philana_Kimmala · June 8, 2022, 2:10pm

Good morning listeners.
Things are heating up in Gallente space as we approach the YC124 Federation Day activities. The smack-talk is generous, the claims absurd, and the rivalries building. Will we see a Hunger-Games style competition this year where contestants must defeat each other in combat? Will beauty, poise, grace, charm or talent even matter? Will incumbent winners easily defeat the newcomers that are flying blind and unsure of how to win?

Stay tuned for more details. This is Philana Kimmala, signing off for now.

Philana_Kimmala · June 16, 2022, 2:09am

Philana Kimmala here, reporting in from Athounon where Caldari Commander @Diana_Kim has indicated she has had an influx of Navy reinforcements staging for their potential attempts to seize “The Placid” as she called it, from the Federation:

Meanwhile Ax’l Thorne has also mentioned that he too was moving about Federal space. Are his maneuvers being orchestrated by Kim? Or is he out on some other malicious mission of his own? Time will tell, but we’ll break the news as soon as we have it. Stay tuned for more!

Philana Kimmala, signing off for now.

Philana_Kimmala · June 19, 2022, 6:58pm

This reporter is getting word out of Tash-Murkon that Joint Harvesting is horning in on the activities of numerous other miners from single-ship mining operations to large organized groups like the Coalition of Independent Miners.

Joint Harvesting is an Amarr Empire corporation that was founded in YC96. Despite only being in existence for two decades, it has managed to prosper in that time, but some feel they need to just back-off on their rapid expansion. One source was quoted saying “we’re honorable, we keep the rules simple. Rule 1: don’t horn in on someone else’s claim. So what the hell am I supposed to think when some corporate all-high muckey-muck orders his mining fleets to steal my rocks, right in front of me no less?..Oh, today it’s just a couple of ventures. But tomorrow they’ll send in an Orca with three or four exhumers and a cruiser escort. They’ll strip every rock in sight!”

Some are making allegations that it’s just corporate greed, others seem to think there’s a more devious plan in place. Do you think it’s just Greed, delusions of superiority, or manifest destiny? Or do you know something more? Feel free to contact Sebiestor Independent News Services with more information.

This is Philana Kimmala, signing off for now.

Philana_Kimmala · June 22, 2022, 5:04pm

The camera frames our favorite news reporter standing in front of a large viewing window. In the background you can see a ship slowly towing the wreckage of another, smaller ship behind it, passing from the viewer’s left to right. There are other spectators and race officials milling around.

“Good afternoon race fans, Philana Kimmala reporting from Luminaire, where it appears there has been a horrific wreck between two participants of the Federation Grand Prix, right at the finish line.” A commotion is heard, and Philana starts moving, the camera crew working to keep up with her. “It looks like the two pilots involved are coming into the building, let’s see if we can get an interview.” A few moments later, she’s standing next to a pilot that is wearing a flight suit that is absolutely covered in sponsor patches. “Sir, sir, I’m Philana Kimmala from Sebiestor Independent News. Can you introduce yourself and let us know what happened?”

Someone from somewhere hands the pilot a logo baseball cap, and in a harried voice he says “Ahm Bicky Robby, from Bicky Robby Bicky Racing. I was coming in to the finish of muh secon lap” someone hands him a different baseball cap with a different logo, and he changes hats really fast “when that idiot” he points off screen “was suppos ta do the shake-n-bake maneuver and he crashed into me instead!” The camera pans a little further to the left, and another pilot staggers into view wearing a matching race suit. It’s obvious they are teammates. As soon as the camera frames this second pilot, someone hands him a baseball cap with a logo on it, and he starts speaking. “Robby Bicky here, from Bicky Robby Bicky Racing, and that is NOT what happened. You was suppose ta do da shakin’ and Ah was gonna do da bacon, but ya didn’t ya damn fool. Ya baked when ya shoulda shaked!”

It’s obvious the reporter is confused, but is ignored when she tries to ask follow-up questions. The two racers are busy bickering. Both pilots are handed entirely different logo’d caps from of screen, and they continue arguing as the reporter consults a hand-held tablet. “It appears they had both defeated the anti-collision devices on their Gallente Interceptors, a common modification among the racing crowd that has NEVER been proven to make anyone any faster, and thus resulted in them having smashed into each other as they approached the finish line.”

From somewhere off the screen someone says “rubbin’ is racin’ guys” and the two pilots slowly cease arguing, repeating over and over “rubbin’ is racin’, rubbin’ is racin’.” In this moment of quiet, Philana turns to one of them while reading her holo-pad and says “Mr. Bicky, is it true that after your ships exploded, you two were attempting to ram each other with your escape pods?” The pilot she is speaking to says “Ahm Bicky, Bicky Robby.” Pointing to the other racer, the same pilot says “ees Mr Robby.” She looks confused, and asks the other pilot the same question, while Mr Robby quickly switches baseball caps with someone off screen. “Well, uh” he answers" I was trying to bake, when this fool decided to bake like I was going to shake, so I had to teach him a lesson." The pilots start talking over each other, fingers pointing and insults flying as they both trade baseball caps with each other and continue yelling. Someone off camera yells “rubbing is racing” which seems to appease everyone for a moment, but only for a moment.

Soon the finger pointing and insult hurling between Bicky Robby and Bobby Bicky escalates to jabbing each other in the chest, then throwing punches. Occasionally they stop hitting and yelling for just a moment, long enough to switch baseball caps with someone off-screen. Meanwhile, Philana just shrugs and steps to the side, consulting her datapad. “Apparently their attempts at ramming each other from their capsules was obstructing the race, and they were also towed from the course. Race officials are considering sanctions or penalties of some sort against the two parties involved.” The two racers are seen flailing and kicking each other behind her, as they move across the camera view and disappear to the viewers right. Philana sighs, consulting her tablet and trying to avoid scowling. As a baseball cap flies across the screen from right to left she continues “apparently their ships will be towed to the nearby Luminaire Ship Graveyards.”

She tries to regain her composure as the yelling and fighting grows louder off-screen, and someone else yells “rubbing is racing” once again. The reporter shakes her head in disbelief then says “Philana Kimmala, signing off for now, from Luminaire.” She walks off screen to the viewer’s left, tossing her datapad into the air in frustration, before the cameraman can even disconnect.

Philana_Kimmala · June 24, 2022, 10:26pm

((A text-only communication would feed out along the bottom of the screen for viewers across the Kisana constellation))

Breaking News out of Sasoutikh V: Reporter Philana Kimmala is investigating the apparent homicide of an unknown Amarran Holder, whose body was found in a service corridor at the Moon 11 Theology Council Accounting station. Local security forces have secured the scene and are not releasing any information pending an investigation, but rumor has it that the body has had both hands and the head removed, and the speculation that it is a holder is only being made due to the fine clothing and iconography on that clothing.

No one is presently being detained, but officials are asking locals to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, to include a head or hands without a body. If you have any possible information or potential leads, please provide those details (below) first to this reporter and then to local officials.

Philana Kimmala
Sebiestor Independent News Services

Philana_Kimmala · July 16, 2022, 2:23pm

Hello listeners. Philana Kimmala here with the Sebiestor Independent News, and I need your help.

An anonymous whistleblower has provided me with a black box recording that has the last minute or so of a conversation between a capsuleer and Minmatar Customs forces out of the Odatrik system. My anonymous source would not comment on the recording, but was adamant that the public needed to hear it so that they might, as he stated in his own words, “really understand what’s going on out there.” I don’t believe this recording to be real recent, but am unsure how old it is. Please take a listen and let me know what you think.

(a grainy audio recording begins)

Voice 1- “Sigil identifying as ‘A Mighty Work’, you have been scanned and targeted as hauling contraband into Minmatar space. Your ship is being detained. Do not resist.”

Voice 2- “Customs, I am working on behalf of the Sisters of Eve and have recovered 38 stranded refugees from Skarkon, including 9 enslaved. Requesting permission to dock at the nearest station.”

Voice 3-“Sigil is locked, all units fire.”

Voice 1-“Sir?”

Voice 3-"I ran his ID. He’s a frackin’ Holder, and the only thing those dirtbags understand is asset loss. Fire on ship, fire on pod, we’ll clean up the mess later.

Voice 2-“Customs you are firing on unarmed rescue vehicle! I am raising shield but not resisting. Requesting capsuleer immunity and permission to dock to release passengers, please!”

Voice 1-“Sir, there’s civilian crew, passengers, our own people sir!”

Voice 3-“Potential collateral damage. Maybe they’ll survive, but slavers need to be hurt so bring the pain and that’s an ORDER!”

Voice 2- “God help us a…”

(recording ends)

If anyone can help explain what we’re hearing, please feel free to comment. This is Philana Kimmala, thank you.

Katherine_Khamsi · July 22, 2022, 2:53pm

Sounds like some jumped up little starchie has decided that the best way to a promotion is frothing zeal to kill anything that starts with the letter H. I wonder how he manages to tolerate the existence of hares if a Hauler is enough to trigger a mass-killing?

Alternatively, the Republic Navy has started subjecting their officers to aversion therapy with the colour gold.

I Suppose it serves the pilot right, really. Never assume your foe is going to treat with you reasonably, no matter how good your intentions. All this not to besmirch the Matari customs office, I’m sure every customs organization is full of people who would be out of their depth flying paper planes.

Philana_Kimmala · August 4, 2022, 2:27pm

TALK ABOUT FIREWORKS!

Philana Kimmala here, reporting to you from the TES Uriam of Fiery Heart parade where only moments ago, amidst a steady stream of fireworks, a Brutor capsuleer registered as ‘Brutus Humus’ was decimated by Concord Forces in a fiery explosion. Here’s a picture of the aftermath of his Catalyst:

Almost as impressive was Gollin Gogiko in his Executioner who almost instantly swooped in to tidy up the mess and ensure a clean view for parade viewers. He was done so fast, I couldn’t even get a picture. What a selfless act of community service by Gogiko!

This is your roving reporter Philana Kimmala with the SINS reporting from Kador Prime.

Philana_Kimmala · August 12, 2022, 1:56am

Good evening, I’m Philana Kimmala:

I’ve received an anonymous report of strange activity in the Parses Solar System. Some interesting signs showing up in space that look like this:

And apparently in what may or may not be related news, a new group called the Demo Girls are doing some damage to POCOs and horning in on the action in the vacuum left behind. Here’s a connection to the kill history of the so called “D-GRL” crew:

I find it interesting that some of the guys running around doing gang-like mischief with the Demo Girls include the notable Lord Gaven Lok’ri, and the almost-infamous Prince Seraghis. Why are these ‘upstanding citizens’ involved in what appears to be hooliganism? Maybe you know.

What’s going on? What are these boys doing running with those girls? What’s the weird code on those signs? Any concepts, speculations, theories? If you have any info or ideas, please share it with our loyal followers in the space below.

Philana_Kimmala · October 5, 2022, 12:01am

Interesting news coming out of the slave exchange on Komaa V:

At an auction earlier this week, a group of 1000 slaves was allegedly purchased for an astonishing five hundred thousand ISK! Needless to say, 500 ISK per slave is a laughable price on the current market in this area.

We’re told that the purchaser was a LUMEN capsuleer, but his name has not yet been obtained.

In other news, another LUMEN capsuleer was spotted at the auction, being outbid on every lot he attempted. The highly controversial newcomer to the Amarr political scene, Heir-Lord Jason Moradian, (previously known as Jason Statesmen) made bids on multiple different auction lots and successfully won, none. An embarrassment no doubt, leaving us to wonder what exactly he was doing there. Perhaps his desire to be a Holder outweighed his pocketbook?

If anyone has more details to the story, please share here. There’s something going on, and this reporter wants to figure it out!

Philana_Kimmala · October 14, 2022, 2:00pm

An excited reporter shows up on screens across the Genesis region…

Breaking news out of Ahbazon IV - Imperial Shipment Storage.

We’re getting reports of a daring heist. Local authorities are staying silent, but this reporter has spoken to some locals that claim a Gallente pirate has stolen ships that were previously confiscated by Amarr authorities that were being held in Ahbazon at the Moon 1 Imperial Shipment Storage.

One local worker, speaking anonymously, told this reporter that an Orca that was registered out of Sing Laison had arrived with an expected load of ore. While docked, as they unloaded, they used a Serpentis computer system to hack into the hanger security to lock out security and steal a number of the confiscated ships. On the bright side, they had completely unloaded their ore.

After undocking, local Navy ships began to respond to trap the Orca, but were attacked by Ventures that were hidden among the ore belts. These Ventures warped in, engaged the Navy, and allowed the Orca to escape. The Ventures could not destroy the Navy responders, but ultimately they all escaped the system through the Lor jumpgate.

Our source could not provide the name of the Gallente pirate, but indicated this had happened before at other Amarr locations. If you have any information on who this pirate might be, or can share details regarding the other attacks, please let us know.

This is Philana Kimmala with Seibestor Independent News Service on the scene, in Ahbazon.

Philana_Kimmala · October 31, 2022, 9:10pm

A recording comes on, played across numerous feeds in the Metropolis region. The following audio is head, played over the pictures shown below:

shown below:

[20:48:46] DutchGunner > ARC fleet returning from evacuating the 1st group of people out of Turnur and continuing moving people further away from the star
[20:49:40] DutchGunner > ARC evacuation fleet now loading people to relocate further away from the star
[20:50:14] Philana Kimmala > This is Philana Kimmala with SI News Services. What more can you tell us about the operations going on here today?
[20:51:53] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > Well, I can tell you that the various operations seem to have been going quite well. The people who want to leave are being given the chance. Thankfully, I personally have not seen much in the way of resistance to the humanitarian operations from neither the Navy, nor Capsuleers, but that’ll probably change.
[20:53:38] Philana Kimmala > Who is the ARC and why are they choosing to become involved at this time in such a politically charged event?
[20:56:49] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > I believe a pilot by the name of Makoto Priano would be the best one to answer that question, though she can be rather disagreeable at times, so keep that in mind.
[20:57:42] Lauralite Anne Brezia > “Disagreeable… is something of an understatement.”
[21:00:36] DutchGunner > ARC evacuation fleet moving another group of people further away from the sun
[21:07:35] DutchGunner > ARC fleet preparing to evacuate evacuees out of Turnur

The reporter steps in front of a camera and comments:

This is Philana Kimmala and I was unable to obtain any further information. Do you know more about what’s going on in Turnur? Feel free to comment below and let us know!

Philana_Kimmala · November 1, 2022, 10:00pm

Philana Kimmala here, with further reports from Turnur!

I was fortunate enough to get a brief interview via inter-system comms with @Kitaula_Kuusa_Jouhinen about matters in this system. Listen in on this conversation:

[21:02:14] Philana Kimmala > “This Philana Kimmala with SI News Service”
[21:03:29] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Hello, Philana. For the record, I’m Kitaula Jouhinen, CEO of Krait Cartel, a subsidiary of the Serpentis Corporation, and current representative of the Serpentis efforts in Turnur.”
[21:04:45] Philana Kimmala > “Thank you Ms Jouhinen for taking the time to speak with me. I hope you don’t mind if I record this conversation, for later review and publication.”
[21:05:31] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Nope, I expected you to in fact.”
[21:07:52] Philana Kimmala > “So, of course everyone in Metropolis has seem The Scope and their report on what’s going on in Turnur, but what further details can you provide that perhaps people need to know?”
[21:13:07] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Well, I’m sure people have heard, but I’ll reiterate that this has been a widespread show of good-will from many different parties. A number of organizations are helping with the evacuation, from Republic and Federation, to Caldari and even Imperial. In keeping with the Serpentis Corporation’s humanitarian efforts, we’ve devoted resources to likewise assisting the people here however we can.”
[21:13:40] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Unfortunately, not everyone here has the best intentions, as you can imagine.”
[21:14:31] Philana Kimmala > “Indeed. If there are bones to be picked, the buzzards will gather. Care to elaborate more on your last statement?”
[21:17:09] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Well, the news will tell you that the Guristas and Deathless networks have been ‘helping’ people get out of the system… which is not incorrect. But if you take it from me, they’re helping them alright- straight into slaver networks. We all know that’s what the Guristas do, and their friends in the Deathless are the ones bringing them the bodies.”
[21:20:01] Philana Kimmala > “I dare say that the Serpentis Corporation is not generally known for their philanthropic efforts. What support is your organization providing, and why?”
[21:25:41] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “On the contrary, we’ve ran a number of humanitarian efforts. During the catastrophy in Seyllin, we sent a number of humanitarian ships to assist in getting as many people as we could out. Likewise during the Triglavian invasions, we cooperated with the Intaki government in bringing in supplies and shuttling refugees to safer ports.”
[21:26:32] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “We also offered generous combat stimulat packages, free of charge, to Federations crews who were combating the invaders.”
[21:28:40] Philana Kimmala > “Who specifically are you evacuating? Are you focused on a particular people or peoples? And where are you taking them?”
[21:31:29] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “So, goals here in Turnur are to leveredge our strengths to save as many lives as possible. That includes exfiltrating anyone and everyone from system who wants to leave. But this also includes bringing in large quantities of top-tier medical supplies and the required vaccinations for interstellar travel. Many people here have hardly left their planets, let alone gone to different star systems.”
[21:32:18] Philana Kimmala > “What do you know of a particular religious sect that is choosing to not evacuate. Have you had interaction with them?”
[21:32:56] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “As for where to, we’ve decided that Hek is a well enough place to take them, and have remand many into the custody of the Republic navy and governmental officials.”
[21:35:39] Philana Kimmala > “And what of those refusing to leave?”
[21:35:41] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Yes, we have had interactions with that group. We’ve done what we can to convince as many to leave as possible, going so far as to offer cash payouts and other enticements to incentivise them to come with. Some have taken up our offers, most haven’t. The religious leader himself hasn’t appeared, but I suppose that’s up to him.”
[21:36:15] Philana Kimmala > “In your opinion, what’s going to happen to the Star?”
[21:37:40] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Uh, I really can’t say. Scientists are claiming it’s not going to go supernova, but there’s a lot of rumors being thrown around about it. If the Republic thinks that moving people to the furthest stations and planets are good courses of action, I’ve no reason to doubt them…”
[21:38:27] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “That being said, our own facillity in system is safely sequestered with a gas giant between it and the sun, so at least there’s that.”
[21:39:20] Philana Kimmala > “There is that indeed. Anything else you tink it would be important for people to know before I wrap up this interview and let you get focused back on the important work at hand?”
[21:42:22] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “Well, I would like to take a second and dispell the rumors about our own operations in the area. No, we are not forcing people from the planet at gunpoint, and no, we are not ‘raiding’ their holy sites looking for ‘relics’ or whatever the talking heads are claiming. Unfortunately, there are a lot of detractors out there who love making up wild conspiracy theories.”
[21:43:02] Kitaula Kuusa Jouhinen > “And I believe that’s about all from my end.”
[21:50:20] Philana Kimmala > “Well, I appreciate the details, and I appreciate you taking the time to share them with me. Keep up the good work, and we’ll see what becomes of this in the near future. If you ever have more information to share regarding this or any other matter, feel free to contact me directly Ms. Jouhinen. That’s Philana Kimmala at Seibestor Independent News Service.”

Philana_Kimmala · January 28, 2023, 4:41am

Everyone’s almost-favorite reporter comes on screen looking very different.

“Good evening SINS fans, I’m Philana Kimmala, and we’ve just intercepted an interesting dialogue emanating from Raa. Take a listen!”

Rough, distorted audio can be heard, but the words are easy enough to understand. The first voice is probably masculine, and the second is quite feminine, if one were to make assumptions.

Evening both. Raju, I don’t think we’ve met

Good evening Sir. Perhaps we have not. I’m pretty new.

I can be bad with faces. How are you finding life as a capsuleer?

It is good. I am the Captain of Nagad 4, the flagship of the fleet for Lord Arya Nagad.

I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with Lord Nagad. He’s an Imperial Holder, I assume.

This is correct, God be praised. And by whom are you employed?

Hmm, that’s an answer with a few layers. I report to my sister, and the stakeholders in our corporation.

God has blessed you with family and funding. Could one ask for anything more in modern times?

The signal is momentarily overcome by static.

It is good that you recognize the hand of God in your fortune. None of us survive on our own efforts.

Quite so, although, in my culture, we would attribute such fortune to more… human influence.

Then perhaps you deny the very hand that feeds us daily. But your salvation is none of my business I suppose. At least right now.

Apologies, someone was trying to bump my ship out of tether range.

Ahhh, the games that the unbelievers play. We’ve had similar tomfoolery recently by potential terrorists in Gamis. I am sure they think themselves to be clever.

As for my denial, having lived in the Empire, I’ve come to believe that the Rite and the Ida are not so very different, at least in some ways.

For a time, static overcomes the audio again. Possibly a solar flare interrupting the radio signal. The masculine voice can be heard as the interference diminishes**

… The name rings a bell. Is that were Lord Nagad holds his demesne?

He is Regent of a Holding in that system.

It is familiar to me somehow. I cannot place why.

As I understand, some half-Caldari bastard upstart gets the land later this year, so the boss is taking what his his and we’re relocating it.

That sounds like a complicated family situation

I’m not involved in the legal end. I just have a job to do. Got the boss in back right now. Taking a nap I think. Or playing with a few of his slaves. None of my business.

Better not warp suddenly!

Hey, we upgraded to a Coercer just a couple days ago. This thing is smooth!

One more time static hiss overcomes the signal, then a minute later the female voice is heard over the static, sounding frantic.

AAGH. Under attack by Terrorists in Raa! All is lost! The ship, Lord Nagad, all is lost!

Then the audio clip ends and Ms. Kimmala resumes speaking.

"This reporter thinks there’s more to this story that our subscribers would want to hear. If you have any information regarding this incident and the parties involved, please contact me directly!

system1 · April 28, 2023, 4:41am

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