Someone's spread a nasty rumor . .

Fiction Portal Intergalactic Summit
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So, recently someone decided to spread a nasty little rumor about me that I feel the need to publicly and strongly DENY!

I get it, really. I am known for outrageous things. In fact, there were six whole days in the early part of the year that I have absolutely no memory of. I have no idea what I was doing, who I was doing, or where I was. When Mistress picked me up in the Bertaka in Venal(?), I didn’t have a clue where my clothes were. Though, someone did find my panties in Fade.

She kept me on a short leash after that: green leather with gold accents, very cute.

So, yes, I am more or less willing to accept pretty much any claim someone makes against me. I mean, no one needs to hack my neocom account to get my nudes. I post them straight to the galnet.

But this last rumor that I am the companion (in the sexual sense) of a Caldari CEO is just wrong. Come on, people. Think about it. There are lines I don’t really cross. I’m not a Caldari, you know. I really don’t have a price, no matter how many zeros are added.

The Caladri hate me and everything I stand for. You know, the virtues of freedom, self determination, advanced genetic manipulation to be a cat, and liberal use of drugs. Oh, you know, also my hedonistic ways, my bisexuality, taste in colours other than grey, love of star cakes, and decent music.

So, again, there is no way any Caldari could employ me to be their companion. Period. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.

The only famous Caldari that I have slept with is Diana Kim, and she doesn’t remember because she asploded her head after. Something about dishonor and shame. Poor girl. Apparently, for all their scientific research, the Caldari still have not discovered the female climax.

Anyways. Lies. Lies and slander.

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I don’t know about you all, but it sounds to me like someone’s lawyers are very upset…

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Did someone slip sooth Sayer into your goo?

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Honestly, I stopped reading after she mentioned her nudes…

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Now that’s a face I didn’t expect to see here.

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Then you missed the bit about DK’s head exploding after sex?

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Now there’s a face I can’t see! And pawing at the holo doesn’t help.

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As a fellow Gallentian, I find your post slightly disappointing.

Why not sleep with the Caldari CEO?

No shame in that. Love and be loved. It’s all good, no matter who it’s with.

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I guess I have some serious soul-searching to do.

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Hahaaahahaahah, scandals.

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What ?

What ??

What ???

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Must have been a Diana Kim corpse.

Somehow Ameriya sleeping with Diana conjures an image of a gazelle trying to sleep with a lion.

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Whoa, looks like someone had too much crash. Or mindflood. Or test bong. Or whatever else can cause hallucinations like that.

But what can I say, that’s not the worst of nonsence and groundless accusations that enemies make up about Caldari. For example, one goon named Arrendis was publically claiming I was “cutting off” people’s hands. Some ‘people’ have really sick imagination like that, slandering their betters in impotent rage.

But, in the end, whatever evil tongues make up about us, with whatever lies they will come at us, they’ll never be better us in space and on dust. And, looks like I’ve got one more entry in my KOS list.

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Well, then!

Ms.Kim, congratulations! I knew you had it in you!

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It’s the corp uniform. Don’t worry. My pretty face is still underneath it.

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If you insist on spreading that nonsense that this rotten mind has generated about me, I will have to hunt you down as well.

On the other hand, since you are an enemy of Caldari State, I already obliged to do that, and your sort of behavior is expected from our enemies.

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I’m more of a domestic house cat, not a lion., but I don’t understand how Diana Kim is a gazelle?

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This is the true message of the thread.

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Kimmy, baby, please. My mind is debauched, prurient, and a host of other similar adjectives, but it is not rotten. Drug-addled sometimes, as well, but never rotten.

I’ll not worry about your denials. I’d rather not have you kill yourself again; for life is precious, even yours. I would never sleep with anyone knowing they would kill themselves after.

Though, I really don’t understand how the act brought dishonor. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your genetically engineered livestock. It was a very sad end to an otherwise beautiful time together.

There is a kind, beautiful-hearted woman underneath that shell the State created, the kind that laughed when she pulled my tail, smiled wide when kissed, and blushed when complimented. I will weep for the fact you keep her imprisoned and repressed.

I think that one of the things that really endears you to me is how similar you are to what I once was, when I was a child, before I found real self and freedom. I keep hoping that one day you will find the same and not asplode your head.

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But clearly not what you lie down for.

Feel free to drop by for absynth sometime, I have an exceptional selection.

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