Capsuleers! Hello again.
Clance Gogne once again here with another “business venture”
Any of you remember this?
When the Valkyrie roped you in to our little conflict? So fragile and weak that they gotta get the entire Capsuleer population to turn on my organization and attack the assets of our valuable Guristas partners.
Now, i get it; you saw an opportunity to profit and you took it. No hard feelings if that’s the case. I can respect that even. Many goodies fell from our pockets into yours and you ran off to the bank giggling madly.
But there’s something very unique taken from those “detention centers” and “transportation facilities” you all plundered. You already know what it is too, the subcompact TEBS interfaces. The Valkyrie told you all to hold onto them.
TEBS, or ‘Transneural Echo Burn Scanner’ is the little key part you all find apart of those Capsules you all love using. It enables you to relay neural data; you know, how you transfer to clones and continue being a pain in the ass for the entire cluster? Yeah, that thing.
What’s interesting about these TEBS in particular is that they are entirely functional like a Capsuleer variant, but able to be installed in much more smaller compact equipment.
Like a Fighter craft…Incredible, right? Marvelous thing created by Schism.
Well, created by the guy Schism outsourced for the job. But we hold the ownership of the schematics to produce them. As such this tech is our property.
Now, now I’m not here to beat my chest and threaten any of you. Far too many of you have a TEBS collecting dust in some station warehouse that you probably forgot the name of by now. It’s far to spread out to go on any crusade for a handful here and there.
No, a more optimal solution that is unsurprisingly my specialty; Buyback. A far easier (and cheaper) way to recover our property would be to simply purchase it back from you. At the same time, get it centralized in one area of this massive cluster. My agents have set up a massive buy order in a trade hub you all know and love in the Caldari regions!
Drum roll please!
Perimeter! (Sorry, thought i was gonna say Jita, didn’t you?)
Sorry for that, i could not bring myself to patronize Jita 4-4 and fatten the Navy’s wallet any further with broker taxes. They should really go on a diet, putting on some pounds and ruining that lovely figure.
Instead my agents have gone to the dominate Fortizar-class citadel in the system adorably named “IchooseYou Trade Hub” owned by the “Tradors’r’us - Jita division”. At first i didn’t like the name but it grew on me for being pretty charming. It’s taking the words right out of your mouth when looking for a hub to establish your trading career.
Anyway, a buy order has been put up just now for 2,500 TEBS interfaces; 1,000,000 a pop. If you happen just to have that many around, that’s 2.5 billion ISK that can wind up in your pocket! Think about it…
I know i won’t recover every TEBS stolen from us. But recovering a bulk of the stock we lost would certainly be a nice gift to present my employer The Ferryman when he returns to work from his vacation.
Put them in a nice basket with a bottle of spiced wine from the Throne worlds…Though i think he prefers Whiskey. Who knows, he’d appreciate the TEBS at least.
God damn i look handsome…
As you can see i’ve cleared out the public market already. That buy order you see in this picture is old, an experiment to see if a buy order would be effective. (check the timestamps) Seeing how it was and aided me in acquiring roughly 700 TEBS. I see no reason why i should invest even further in buy orders to incentivize you Capsuleers to dig out those dusty things and hand them over to me.
I’m fully aware some (many) will attempt to challenge my buy order, either by changing a digit once or actually growing a pair and slamming down a better offer. Thing i like about buy orders is that you gotta put your money down first.
Let’s do business Capsuleers.
Still look handsome, god damn.