Subcompact TEBS interface buyback

[Clance_Gogne]

Capsuleers! Hello again.

Clance Gogne once again here with another “business venture”

Any of you remember this?

When the Valkyrie roped you in to our little conflict? So fragile and weak that they gotta get the entire Capsuleer population to turn on my organization and attack the assets of our valuable Guristas partners.

Now, i get it; you saw an opportunity to profit and you took it. No hard feelings if that’s the case. I can respect that even. Many goodies fell from our pockets into yours and you ran off to the bank giggling madly.

But there’s something very unique taken from those “detention centers” and “transportation facilities” you all plundered. You already know what it is too, the subcompact TEBS interfaces. The Valkyrie told you all to hold onto them.

TEBS, or ‘Transneural Echo Burn Scanner’ is the little key part you all find apart of those Capsules you all love using. It enables you to relay neural data; you know, how you transfer to clones and continue being a pain in the ass for the entire cluster? Yeah, that thing.

What’s interesting about these TEBS in particular is that they are entirely functional like a Capsuleer variant, but able to be installed in much more smaller compact equipment.

Like a Fighter craft…Incredible, right? Marvelous thing created by Schism.

Well, created by the guy Schism outsourced for the job. But we hold the ownership of the schematics to produce them. As such this tech is our property.

Now, now I’m not here to beat my chest and threaten any of you. Far too many of you have a TEBS collecting dust in some station warehouse that you probably forgot the name of by now. It’s far to spread out to go on any crusade for a handful here and there.

No, a more optimal solution that is unsurprisingly my specialty; Buyback. A far easier (and cheaper) way to recover our property would be to simply purchase it back from you. At the same time, get it centralized in one area of this massive cluster. My agents have set up a massive buy order in a trade hub you all know and love in the Caldari regions!

Drum roll please!

Perimeter! (Sorry, thought i was gonna say Jita, didn’t you?)

Sorry for that, i could not bring myself to patronize Jita 4-4 and fatten the Navy’s wallet any further with broker taxes. They should really go on a diet, putting on some pounds and ruining that lovely figure.

Instead my agents have gone to the dominate Fortizar-class citadel in the system adorably named “IchooseYou Trade Hub” owned by the “Tradors’r’us - Jita division”. At first i didn’t like the name but it grew on me for being pretty charming. It’s taking the words right out of your mouth when looking for a hub to establish your trading career.

Anyway, a buy order has been put up just now for 2,500 TEBS interfaces; 1,000,000 a pop. If you happen just to have that many around, that’s 2.5 billion ISK that can wind up in your pocket! Think about it…

I know i won’t recover every TEBS stolen from us. But recovering a bulk of the stock we lost would certainly be a nice gift to present my employer The Ferryman when he returns to work from his vacation.

Put them in a nice basket with a bottle of spiced wine from the Throne worlds…Though i think he prefers Whiskey. Who knows, he’d appreciate the TEBS at least.

God damn i look handsome…

As you can see i’ve cleared out the public market already. That buy order you see in this picture is old, an experiment to see if a buy order would be effective. (check the timestamps) Seeing how it was and aided me in acquiring roughly 700 TEBS. I see no reason why i should invest even further in buy orders to incentivize you Capsuleers to dig out those dusty things and hand them over to me.

I’m fully aware some (many) will attempt to challenge my buy order, either by changing a digit once or actually growing a pair and slamming down a better offer. Thing i like about buy orders is that you gotta put your money down first.

Let’s do business Capsuleers.

Still look handsome, god damn.

[Ibrahim_Tash-Murkon]

You’re a little late to the party on this, friend.

[Clance_Gogne]

Really? Way i see it it’s never to late to recover those TEBS still floating around.

After all there’s still plenty to grab out there. I say yeah…I miss the rush but at the same time i wasn’t even employed then.

So better “late” than never i suppose.

[Ibrahim_Tash-Murkon]

All the best with your collection; I’m just saying there are massive stockpiles out there with owners that will never sell.

[Clance_Gogne]

Thankfully those stockpile owners aren’t the only Capsuleers involved with that grand heist.

Who knows? Maybe one of them will want to get cash out on that stock. Gotta try at least, right?

[Corraidhin_Farsaidh]

More likely you are trying to deny the Valkyrie access to them and/or are concerned that us capsuleers (with our proven record of reverse engineering stuff) will tear them apart and break your monopoly on their production.

Good luck with that.

[Clance_Gogne]

@Corraidhin_Farsaidh

More likely you are trying to deny the Valkyrie access to them

Why the ■■■■ wouldn’t i be doing that?

@Corraidhin_Farsaidh

will tear them apart and break your monopoly on their production.

You still haven’t answered my previous question

[Corraidhin_Farsaidh]

Oh don’t get me wrong, it was merely an observation rather than accusation, as to the booster BPO point my guess would be (I don’t deal in boosters) it’s simply more economical to acquire them as they currently are, rather than make the effort. Much the same as inventing out the tech II BPO’s is more economical than buying the existing tech II BPO’s for most people.

If someone decides they want the BPO for anything you have and are willing to make the effort/pay the price, they’ll get it. That’s just the nature of our existence.

[Woodrow_Ormand]

If anybody would like to aid valkyrie pilots, i would ld also be willing to pay for them.

[Clance_Gogne]

@Corraidhin_Farsaidh

as to the booster BPO point my guess would be (I don’t deal in boosters) it’s simply more economical to acquire them as they currently are, rather than make the effort. Much the same as inventing out the tech II BPO’s is more economical than buying the existing tech II BPO’s for most people.

Not quite, with the original blueprint you get access to the deeper fine print of the schematics. Which, enables you to delve into more experimental methods of manufacturing. Cut down on raw materials or cook it faster to get it on the shelf sooner. Every little nudge is how you get ahead of the market.

@Corraidhin_Farsaidh

If someone decides they want the BPO for anything you have and are willing to make the effort/pay the price, they’ll get it. That’s just the nature of our existence.

Ran - ■■■■■■■ - Kavik

@Woodrow_Ormand

If anybody would like to aid valkyrie pilots, i would ld also be willing to pay for them.

Adorable.

@Anyanka_Funk

I literally gave makoto priano one thousand tebs.

Hey, If ARC was offering payment at the time, i can’t blame you. Just took advantage of a opportunity to make some kredits. Can’t hate on that, get your money straight.

Now if you just HANDED them a thousand units for nothing? You’re a moron

[Corraidhin_Farsaidh]

@Anyanka_Funk

I paid five billion isk for them and handed them over for free. I’m not a moron, I am a philanthropist.

Besides, 5 bil really isn’t that much to many capsuleers.

[Makoto_Priano]

Notably, Funk also specifically avoided restitution toward Signal Cartel of Alexylva Paradox for her prior crimes, and attempted to have pilots clear contributions to ARC’s collection effort through her for, well, whatever reason. The details may be found in this old thread.

In any case, as to the rest, well-- huh.

[Morgan_Wulver]

While I recognize that most of these TEBS devices have been laying stagnant in the market, I would sincerely advise against allowing these devices to pile up in the hands of one individual or group of individuals.

In that vein, I’d like to officially go on record and announce my interest in purchasing a number of these devices for study. Initial testing has revealed them to be a relatively crude, but extremely innovative design and I (and by extension the clone mercenaries of the Bosena Accords, of whom I am acting on behalf of) wish to study this technology further in comparison to the artifacts uncovered from the Warzone Extraction events of October YC 119.

I needn’t ask for every tebs interface I can get my hands on, just a handful should be enough for a quick assessment and to compare them to technology present in warclone interfaces previously present in immortal mercenaries.

Better still, I would pay top dollar should someone manage to locate the corpse or living sample of a Valkyrie pilot for vivisection. Or a " Schism" pilot. At this stage I care not for whatever squabbles exist within their ranks, my only concern is finding some method of studying to what extent they have been modified.

[Arrendis]

So, lemme see if I get this…

Valkyries turn to capsuleers. This makes them ‘fragile and weak’.

Now you’re turning to capsuleers. This makes you…?

[Clance_Gogne]

@Makoto_Priano

Notably, Funk also specifically avoided restitution toward Signal Cartel of Alexylva Paradox for her prior crimes, and attempted to have pilots clear contributions to ARC’s collection effort through her for, well, whatever reason. The details may be found in this old thread.

Heh, on second thought i think i like this pilot.

@Arrendis

So, lemme see if I get this…

Valkyries turn to capsuleers. This makes them ‘fragile and weak’.

Now you’re turning to capsuleers. This makes you…?

A businessman.

The Valkyrie could had hit those bases themselves and liberated the pilots. They sure got the firepower to do it. Even pocket the cargo stored there for themselves. Instead, went to the media and leaked the location of .every. single. last. one of those complexes. Then have you Capsuleers do the dirty work. Then, once the smoke settles they plant some mockery of a beacon that talks to the Capsuleer population like they’re a bunch of dogs that they can sick on us again. Despite you know, a vast majority of you only there for the money involved.

My terms are simple and fair for both parties, i pay and you hand over a TEBS. The markets have been cleared out, except a small handful in the Providence region. So, i gotta put out an order for those hidden away in some hangers. The only other way i got. As i mentioned it’s not optimal to start tossing around threats.

I’m not asking you to pick up a flag for my cause. Just a simple business transaction then we go our separate ways. We can handle fighting our own fights.

[Arrendis]

@Clance_Gogne

The Valkyrie could had hit those basses themselves and liberated the pilots. They aure got the firepower yo do it. Even pocked the cargo stored there for themselves. Instead, went to the media and leaked the location of .every. single. last. one of those complexes. Then have you Capsuleers do the dirty work. Then, once the smoke settles they plant some mockery of a beacon that talks to the Capsuleer population like they’re a bunch of dogs that they can sick on us again. Despite you know, a vast majority of you only there for the money involved.

Yup. Sure sounds like a smart allocation of resources, to me. Why spend your own time and effort when you have the money to pay other idiots to get blown up doing it?

[Clance_Gogne]

Hey, they wanted this rebellion. Would be nice if they proved they themshelves could stand on their own two feet. If they did the work themshelves they could’ve profited off our equipment salvaged.

Enough to balance the budget even.

But alright alright I won’t be to difficult and give into agreement. Sometimes it really is more - in @Corraidhin_Farsaidh words - “Economical” to get another party to take on the risks for you from time to time. But nothing is more satisfying than having the balls to take the risk yourself and come out the richer man.

[Arrendis]

@Clance_Gogne

But nothing is more satisfying than having the balls to take the risk yourself and come out the richer man.

I can tell you from direct experience that yes, many things are more satisfying. Like watching your enemy turn inward and tear themselves apart because of a few well-placed words. Or sitting back and watching your enemies work themselves into a lather because you won’t suicide your fleet into them. But without a doubt, the most satisfying and all around funniest experience is smiling at your enemies and telling them, in 100% complete sincerity, ‘yep. You burned us out of our space. At the time, it really sucked. But as a result, we’re more consolidated, better organized, and making buttloads more money now. Thank you.’

Damn, does that piss 'em off. Cuz it’s true.

All of those things, far more satisfying.

[Clance_Gogne]

@Arrendis

But without a doubt, the most satisfying and all around funniest experience is smiling at your enemies and telling them, in 100% complete sincerity, ‘yep. You burned us out of our space. At the time, it really sucked. But as a result, we’re more consolidated, better organized, and making buttloads more money now. Thank you.’

Ah yes…When GoonSwarm was evicted from the northern regions and settled in the raider infested south of Delve.

Not gonna lie, when I saw those mining charts put out by the SCC I was blown away at the magnitude of materials your Iindustrial sector was raking in. Could even say I was jealous at the numbers when compared to our own.

Ontop of that; all the bounties floating around. Bounties placed by CONCORD, grieving families or holders left as victims of Blood raider attacks. Everyone has a cultist they want put down and in the carnage might trip over a small diamond that fetches a price.

Maybe the north just wern’t for you chaps…

[Arrendis]

@Clance_Gogne

Maybe the north just wern’t for you chaps…

Yeah, we only held it for… six years? So totally not for us. Horde’s doing a much better job, what with them evac’ing to Geminate after only 18 months.