Hey @Axel_Kashuken,
Firstly welcome to the eve addiction 
In my opinion a large alliance doesn’t mean you turn into a ‘number’ and similarly a small group doesn’t mean you don’t have to battle to be noticed. The play style and attitudes of the humans that make up the group make a much bigger difference.
We are part of an alliance that holds Sovereignty in Null sec, and also has an active Low security area. When I fly in our large alliance fleets I know I am contributing to a wider picture and the camaraderie is there even if I am more of a ‘number’ at that moment in time.
When I fly out on our roams, or small group engagements the direct involvement and feedback it what makes me come back for more.
Outside of PvP I have found that getting involved in industry or just the supply and hauling of stuff that you know will be used to progress your corp or alliance ambitions has given me more satisfaction than just doing it for the sake of isk.
At the end of the day Eve is a game that you can find some similarly minded people to have fun and escape for RL for a while.
It’s been a few days since you posted, I hope you have found a place to try and are enjoying the game. If you haven’t found the right fit please feel free to give your recruitment post a look over.,
Have fun 