Strange news reaches Gutter Press from the southern hemisphere of Jachanu V, where local residents found a giant fish washed up on one of the beaches popular with tourists !
The fish, a species known locally as a fetchcarp, measured 4 metres from nose to tail, and was examined by marine biologists who conducted a necropsy, and made a shocking discovery !
Inside the fish’s digestive tract, was a partial human skeleton, with some cyberprosthetics still attached !
Examination of the skeleton parts, and cross-referencing with dental and cyberprosthetic records, revealed it to be the body of “Mad Jaq the Stabby”, a former cyberknight turned criminal mastermind, who had disappeared more than 40 years ago !
“You get fetchcarp washed up on the beaches every so often, usually when they’ve been fighting with each other, or are diseased. They don’t really have any predators, other than the occasional sport fisherman”, said one local official.
“Yeeearr, that’s a big un. There be bigger than that, in the deeps. My granda, he fought one that was 8 metres long. Attacked his fishing ship, killed a couple of his mates, so it did”, said a local sailor.
“Hmmph, being eaten by fish is a fitting fate for a lower hemisphere criminal, I’d say. Of course, we don’t have these social problems in the upper hemisphere”, said a northern Jachanu V tourist.
“My old auntie used to tell us that naughty children would get ate by fetchcarp. Would never have thought the old boot was on to something”, said a local policeman.
Gutter Press. News.