Hi! :D This is a fair warning. :)

A new highsec expansion hits, and with that we’ll get an influx of newbros newbroing into our game.

That means, i will be out there looking for new player corporations that DO A SHITTY JOB. You’ll recognise me as a cute girly, or as mistress, as a submissive one, or none of them. I could be a shy, below average personality. You can’t know. You can’t predict it. I’ve been doing that long enough.

Sometimes I will tell you that I’ve played the game many years ago and stopped, sometimes I’ve never played this game before and sometimes you will perceive me as completely passive, void of any enthusiasm or interest whatsoever. Sometimes I’m an hyperactive early 20s, and sometimes i’m in my late 40s.

No API Key and no security checks can stop me.

If YOU run a new player friendly corporation and you keep our new players happy, then you have nothing to worry about. When you actively play with them and keep them happy, then I will congratulate you and look for the next one. YOU have nothing to worry about, as we’re on the same side!


THEN your character’s name and the corporation will be spread on reddit and the forums. People will take the new players away from you. They will blow up your citadels, refineries or whatever else you have out there. You WILL suffer and you WILL deserve it.

Be good to our new players. Don’t abuse them for your wallet. Don’t tell them to stay docked during war. Don’t tell them that low sec is a death-trap. Teach them self responsibility and how not to get ganked. Or teach them to gank!

Teach them how to kill people! Teach them how to be good miners, or mission runners! I don’t give a damn about what you do with them, but if i catch you teaching them ■■■■, making them hate other players, or being afraid of what the game offers, then I WILL WRECK YOUR ■■■■!

Be fair and helpful… or else!

This was a friendly warning. :slight_smile:

If you agree, please leave a message.

Any Good Guy Awoxers out there?


I don’t like cats, so here’s music tax.

How badly do i have to treat them to see you try?




Which new high sec expansion are you talking about? Whatever CCP has not achieved with the initial Alpha introduction won’t happen with the next version either.

I do that to newbies when it is reasonable. For instance, they should loath hypocritical gankers and in general stupid people. There is no reason why they should like them.

Also, why should I be nice to a new player who is not willing to learn EVE, came from Angry Birds and only adds to ruin EVE with their presence?
Furthermore, I want to see you get into CCP Alliance. :rofl: CCP are the worst adversaries for new players. They deceive them with empty, yet pompous promises, they are only interested in ripping money out of new players’ wallets and they are not interested in their well-being. Let me know if you managed to get into that alliance and awox them. :smile:

The three newbros I spend all my energy with in this game trying to get them to do solo and small gang pvp and FW Fcing and WH dwellers etc turned out to become:

One of them became much more successful than me
Another one became a spy for the enemy FW faction (I had a suspicion but realized it all too late) but he is a cool guy.
One new bro I lead to a wormhole just to blow him up, felt bad afterwards, taught him about wormholes, guy ended up making countless isk in there due to my knowledge but I myself was too incompetent to achieve what he has…

With other words, I am done dealing with newbros, in one instant I teach them, and then they all overtake me and I play this ■■■■ since 2003.


Mate, you did Bob’s work! Don’t be mad! Be proud! The students became the master! How could you be mad? You’ve raised retention, my friend, and that is all that really matters! :smiley:

You’d kick your own ass if you did, so no need for me to come by anyway. :wink:

Ok, here’s a story for ya :slight_smile:

Few days back I met a new player in an empty Couster belt. I was testing the NPC mining support fleets, trying to spawn the all BS one but all i kept getting were frigs. Anyway, so a venture warps into the empty belt, hangs out a min watching then leaves toward next belt down, eventually returning from next belt up clearly having checked every belt for roids.

I start up a conversation as is my usual strategy, and inform him that the rocks are gone, why they’re gone and how he can find roids next door in Algogille. New players seems stumped so I fleet him and take him to a random Algogille belt and set him mining, giving him instructions how to get home again when he’s full. During this time as i always do, i question him on how he is enjoying EvE and if there is anything i can assist with while we’re in contact? He mentions wanting to try fighting but expects it to me several weeks or months before he can have any fun that way, and we end up discussing various forms of PvP, security ratings, piracy, scamming and generally the sandbox nature of EvE.

Later he contacts me again asking a few more questions and would apparently like to try some beginner level piracy.

During the process the new player attacked the wrong target locking himself on grid, I gladly lost 2 experimental logis i was testing to the resulting fleet stomping. New players fresh (but terrible) vexor is dead, so i buy new player a Gnosis and we go to practice our logi tactics some more on the NPC miners. This time the new player does better, he is listening and staying in range and shooting the correct things. Until an Orca warps into the belt that is… New player assumes this is some sort of NPC mining escelation and shoots it, of course. New player is dead again, and I (having neglected to adjust my safety for PvE logi) am once again suspect in two logistics and well scrammed by the rats.

I ECM the scram rats and evac the belt. It’s strange that someone that spends as much time as myself suspect flagged can still feel that panic when it happens by mistake :smiley:

So… I bought the new player a 2nd Gnosis and the current plan is to expand on what we learned later tonight.

I tell this story because from my posting and general vibe, many folks assume i’m the one being talked about in the OP. I wanted to take this opportunity to point out that someone can simultaneously be a suspect baiting scumbag and a nice guy with a bit of patience for a newbro trying to learn.

Wut? If i did what?


“Rivr Luzade” encourages hate among the community, not seeing how he should promote hate towards himself for what he does. Amarr suits you well. What do you see when you look into the mirror?

Stop promoting hate against Rivr Luzade :sunglasses:

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This really needs to be addressed by CCP. It is a far too common misconception.

Awesome story! I love you man! :smiley: One thing though. Aren’t Gnosis expensive? Meaning, if they get stuck on them, will they be able to afford them to go on?

Rest assured that I didn’t. :wink:

I know you’d kick your own ass for mistreating them. No external punishment necessary. :wink:

He first!

This whole situation is a mess you should avoid. It’s alt’s of alt’s defending themselves. I have been barraged by flags today by some angry players.

I think they think the forum flag counter will get me banned when the posts were completely within community guidelines. This is the childishness you will receive these days. I am still waiting for an acceptable solution via a harassment ticket.

These trolls hate themselves and try to project their loathsome nature onto others. Don’t be a victim.

holy ■■■■ man, what in the name of Bob does THIS have to do with my thread??



A ROLEPLAYER! :smiley:

haha this buffalo latte is too hot, you have it.

1 Like

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.